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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello All Dating Experts out there,I have a question about a man I have met - please do advise...I've met him through a professional relationship - I am a flat owner and he is my Freeholder (like a landlord to the overall building). We've had to have lots of phone conversations over the past year or so, as I had some issue with my property.Over this time, he has become increasingly flirtatious, even before we had met! And last Xmas, he came over to give me a gift - was the first time we met.He clearly fancies me very much, and I am attracted to him - he has a fun personality, intelligent, etc.HOWEVER, he tells me he is separated. He is still married, but lives separately (apparently), although sometimes stays in the family house, "for the sake of the kids". He has 2 children, aged 12 and 8.Because I know he is married (and am unsure whether to believe that he is truly separated), I have always turned down his offers to take me out/ wine and dine me.Also, our communications are never that frequent - tend to come and go. He called me yesterday out of the blue and insisted he take me out. I still explained that I couldn't go out with a married man. Anyway, I decided to call his bluff, and told him that if he was as single as he says he is, he could take me out tonight (Valentine's night). He called me up today and tried to convince me to go out with him another night. I told him it was tonight or no night.So he told me he would go away, make some calls and get back to me. Sounded like we were going to go out tonight! But 5 mins later he rang to say couldn't do this evening as he couldn't cancel out of a work meeting, and would finish too late to be able to go out.For any normal man, I would believe this excuse. He knows I won't date him until I believe he is not involved with anyone else. But he tells me that they try and protect their youngest child...and pretend to be a "together" family.However, I want to ask you all what you think?? Does it sound as odd to you as it does me?Is there a way I can get him to prove to me that he doesn't have a relationship with his wife??I don't want to open myself up to the possiblity of dating a man who has a double life!!Thanks all.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): I wouldnt give him the time of day. Clearly he's pulling you along on a bit of string. Maybe next time you should ask to meet his wife, if they were separated then i am sure she'll have no problem confirming this.The fact that you're not giving into him is making him want you more.But as soon as you think he's being geniune and he has an affair with you, he'll dump you in the garbage.With no intention of committing to a relationship. Why are some men cheating rat bags?? I ask myself this everyday.Sorry i no its harsh but its reality. There are plenty of guys that would treat u so much better then this scumbag.Please be strong and look for someone who will treat u better.Good luck sweetie
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 I think you're quite right to be dubious about this guy. If he was really keen on you (and was single) he would jump at the chance to take you out, EVEN on Valentine's night, in fact, I'd go so far as to say if he was REALLY single he'd have had it organised beforehand. I think he IS married and what he's telling you is pure bullshit! He's probably bored or itchy, you have your own place and he is your freeholder... it's the perfect set up!
Why don't you ask him for his home phone number, tell him you might give him a call, see if he gives it to you. If he offers you his cell number tell him no, his home number would suit you better. Ask him his address and tell him you'll pop by one day/night... see if he gives it to you. Watch his body language as you ask and see if he stutters, cringes, averts his eyes or scratches his face. All signs of a liar!
Of course there is a very remote chance that he is telling the truth and if he is then giving you his number and address should be no problem but if he comes up with any excuses at all then he's at it. Please let me know what happens, I would be very interested to hear how you got on.
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): This behavour seems very odd to me i think he is abusing his position and you need to do something about it. You have obviously stopped to consider what he is like but there could be much more vulnerably people that he is doing this to aswell. Next time you talk to him i would make it clear that any further contact made between you two is purely because he is your landlord and you want nothing more from him.
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