A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello all. about 4 months ago, my Fiance and I were having problems and she decided to end it based on the things i have been doing over our 9 year relationship. since we have been broken up we have been talking almost every day. We have seen each other about 4 or 5 times and each time we are close and do end up fooling around. I have asked her what she wants and she says that she wants to get back together with me but she cant because she doesnt trust that things wont happen again. Since we broke up. I have got some personal help and have got myself straight. I want to be back together with her and she wants to be back together with me, but right now she feels that we cant. her family doesnt want to see us together either. We are just trying to figure out what to do so that we can move forward and maybe get back together.. some people say that we should take time apart and be individuals so we can clear our heads and be sure that this is what we want... Either of us dont want to spend time not talking to each other. any other suggestions on how we might be able to move forward in our relationship?
View related questions:
broke up, fiance, get back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (14 February 2007):
 Well you're ready to move forward now, it's your fiance who is still "stuck". Maybe she's getting pressure from her family about the two of you, maybe she doesn't want to get back with you and just doesn't want to hurt you or maybe she IS mixed up and need to sort her head out?
I think the best thing to do in the circumstances would be to get in touch with her (but not in person) and let her know that you do still have feelings for her but she needs space away from you (all contact) in order for her to be able to think clearly. No contact for 2 months minimum! No emails, no letters, no telephone calls, no texts no meetings, nothing! That way she doesn't make you an emotional wreck blowing hot and cold all the time with you.
During this two months you will be even MORE sure how you feel about her and may even be surprised that you've actually begun to move on in your life again. Don't let her pull you down and leave you undecided and confused. Tell her about the 2 month break and stick to it.
Only then will you both be more clear about your futures together.
Good luck!
Eve
|
