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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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He doesn't want a physical relationship with me because he fears the emotional consequences. What can I do to convince him otherwise?
Q. I have been 'dating' a guy for over 6 months now who I really like but it is basically a platonic friendship as he is unwilling to enter into a physical reationship. He says this is because he does not want to have to deal with the emotional ...
A. 6 February 2007: This man may have been hurt deeply in the past, hence the reason for his celibacy. For now I would advise you to respect his wishes and continue to be friends with him and let the trust build. You can't force him to move on to intimacy when he ... (read in full...)
My family think my fiancee does not put me first! What should Ido?
Q. I am due to get married in June 2007 and I'm having doubts about this. I love my fiance dearly but both of our families have been overbearing with the wedding plans, so much so, that I actually cancelled the original 'big white wedding' we had ...
A. 6 February 2007: Your fiancee will be trying to please everyone but you SHOULD come first, it's you and his day after all. Don't listen to anyone else, listen to your gut instinct. Do YOU feel he puts you first in all of this? Your answer will tell you whether or ... (read in full...)
We want to 'go all the way' with this other couple. Are there any repercussions we should be aware of?
Q. Me and my husband have been best friends with another couple until last year when we decided to try some not-so-innocent massage on each others spouses. It took me a while but today we are still the greatest of friends and in addition we have turned ...
A. 6 February 2007: The reason you want to do this is out of pure curiousity, to see what if feels like to have sex with someone else with your husband's blessing and vice versa of course. Like CD mentioned below, there are various points to take into consideration, ... (read in full...)
Is virginity important and how old were you all, when you lost it?
Q. when is the average age to lose your virginity becuase most people these days are losing it younger and put you in a position where you think of how far you went with a boy. How old was you when you lost your virginity? Is virginity important? i am ...
A. 6 February 2007: Some people lose their virginity earlier than others, there is no special age to become sexually active. It all really depends on the individual. The main thing is to be sensible about it. It's against the law for one thing for a girl to sleep ... (read in full...)
He constantly moans that women no longer admire him. I think this is very disrespectful to me...what do you all think?
Q. i believe my partner is very disrespecting to me,he constantly moans how awful he looks and women no longer look at him,i tell him how beautiful he is and i fancy him like hell and all that matters is how i see him.if he was happy with me would he ...
A. 6 February 2007: Your partner sounds a bit on the vain side to me. If he's between the age of 41 and 50 he'll be noticing things starting to slide, lines appearing on his face, his hair thinning etc and that can be a big shock the the male ego. I would laugh it ... (read in full...)
I treated my gf like she was just one of my friends and she dumped me. Now I want her back...what should I do?.
Q. Hi I am a 17 year old junior in high school and I need help with a situation I’m having. This girl that I was dating for 3 months broke up with me because she said she just had a feeling. I really think that she did it because I liked this other ...
A. 6 February 2007: If you do really feel a lot for her then you could try sending her a big bunch of flowers with a teddy bear saying I love you! Tell her you've missed her so much and you now KNOW you're feelings for her run far deeper than you first thought.
... (read in full...)
He dumped me saying he wanted to date no one..but he went on a date last night with another girl! Should I tell her what he's like?
Q. i split with my bf of 2 months.... 2 weeks ago, because he said he wasnt ready for a relationship with any1 at the moment! i have now found out he went on a date with sum1 last night! do you think he was lying to me about our split, or do yo think ...
A. 5 February 2007: He's decided he just doesn't want to be with you any more and has used the "I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone" excuse as just that... an excuse! Say nothing to this other woman, it's none of your business. If you do she'll only think ... (read in full...)
My bf has been secretly visiting 'swing' clubs and cheating on me! What should I do?
Q. Hi i recently found out my boyfriend of 4 years has been frequenting swinging clubs for the past few months and having casual sex. Im heartbroken, but I feel like an idiot as i thought he loved me. When i confronted him he said it was a once off...
A. 5 February 2007: You're right, swinging parties do need to be booked. You say he has been doing this for the past few months? Do you know this for sure? If this IS the case then I would drop him like a hot potato. He's still sleeping with you and god knows how ... (read in full...)
She's been down so I am giving her space until she wants to talk...am I doing the right thing?
Q. My girlfriend has been feeling down for about a week and a half. I try to talk to her about it but she doesn't want to talk. She's fine around my friends and sometimes pulls out of the mood and is happy for a little bit when no one is around. I ...
A. 5 February 2007: Women are very funny creatures. When something is bothering them the like to be "drawn out." If you ask a woman (say your partner for example) are you okay? She'll immediately say YES. What she REALLY means is "no I'm not okay but if you're ... (read in full...)
I am having these dreams about my bf's friends! What does this all mean?
Q. i,ve been with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years now, we have been through alot together like last december i had an ectopic pregnancy he was great through it he really looked after me. But recently i have been having these dreams about ...
A. 5 February 2007: Dreaming of kissing your boyfriend's friends denotes that you like them and have respect for them or even admire them to an extent.
It also means you are seeking some intimate closeness that is lacking in some waking relationship. It may or m... (read in full...)
I ended it...because he flirts with others a lot and I find this hard to trust him. Did I do the right thing?
Q. I've been with a guy a bit older than me (15 years) for the past four months. He's the doorman at a social club where I work on the bar. I've really fallen in love with him, but he's a terrible flirt and I've found this hard to cope with. He also ...
A. 5 February 2007: Yes, I would say you're right to end it with him love, he's not right for you. You sound a nice girl, if not very sensitive and a bit insecure. He'll meet girls ten a penny on the doors of the nightclub and he probably has the gift of the gab if ... (read in full...)
He was unavailable to take my call...and I'm being suspicious! Am I being silly or what?
Q. hi been with my b/f for over 2 years..we spent the whole day together yesterday and he took me home at night. I got there at about 9:40. I did ask him to call me later to say nite...1:15 am or so came, i decided to call and say night..a lot of ...
A. 5 February 2007: What makes you feel so paranoid? Has there been any other indications in the past that's given you this kind of feeling? If you were happy and content with him you would never feel this way so there must be something going on in your head? Have ... (read in full...)
He says I wasn't the woman for him right from the start! Should I just move on?
Q. I have been with a guy for the last 2 years, We had our ups and downs. He has ended things with me a few times but I took him back everytime, but only because he came running back. This time though he has ended it with me, but still told me that he ...
A. 5 February 2007: For a relationship to be successful both partners need to communicate. It sounds to me that your boyfriend never told you things weren't going very well for him in the sex department. He probably had things he'd have liked you to do to him or to ... (read in full...)
Why is it so easy for him yet hard for me??
Q. My ex boyfriend let me down, he would break up with me constantly, and would just leave me wondering where he was and what he was doing. I chose to wait till I was married before getting intimate but he says that I didn't give him the things he ...
A. 5 February 2007: Well done to you! :o) You have morals and you stood by them. Although you both wanted to be in a relationship together he wanted to go a step further and have a sexual relationship woth you. You stuck around in the hope that he would respect how ... (read in full...)
I feel like I have taken him away from her!!
Q. hi, Ive just recently started dating this boy, and yesterday we were talkin about past relationships and he told me about the girl he lost his virginity to. He told me he loved her, but while he was goin out with her she died. He didn't go into d...
A. 5 February 2007: Thanks for clarifying things for me. So why do you feel you've taken him off her? She's dead now, gone and although it is very sad it's a fact. What they had together was probably very special and he'll always remember her because she was the ... (read in full...)
How do I get over this massive crush on my friend's brother?
Q. I'm 16 years old, and I have a massive crush on my best friends older brother. I think I may be in love with him. But, Im not sure. To make matters worse, my other friend likes him too. Hes 19 and in college. I know I need to get over him, but I ...
A. 5 February 2007: Why do you feel you need to get over him? Why don't you ask your best friend to drop a few hints to her brother to see whether he likes you too? If he does then she hints that you also like him, if he doesn't see you as girlfriend materiel then ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him if he doesnt get me anything for Valentines??
Q. My bf havent gave me a gift on holiday but i did give him a belt as my present for him, are guys like that? My bf just dont want to give me anything.i knew he had money to buy one,but does it shows the he dont love me or dont want me to be happy? ...
A. 5 February 2007: Being in a relationship and loving someone isn't all about what you GET off them materially, it's about a bond that's so strong that it's impossible to break. You don't say how long you've been going out together but I'm sure, with time then he ... (read in full...)
His pic of the the ex hurt me...should I ask him to carry one of us??
Q. I have this bf for almost 6months, we both had a relationship prior to ours now and got out with it for us to have a relationship together. Everything seems ok coz we both are striving hard for our relationship to work out, we've done both our...
A. 5 February 2007: He may not even be aware that he still has her picure on his PC. Try not to be too jealous about this, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Go into one of those instant photo booths and have your picture taken with him then say casually "hey ... (read in full...)
Is width and depth of vagina proportional to brest size of the female?
Q. Is width and depth of vagina proportional to brest size of the female? Intention behind this question is: I am from a society where I cant have sex with partner before marriage. So how can i know sexual compatibility (like too tight/wide etc?)...
A. 5 February 2007: The other aunts are right. The vagina does have a lot of elasticity, enough to squeeze a baby's head through. Now... unless your penis is bigger in width than the size of a newborn baby's head then you have a problem. If it's not however, then ... (read in full...)
My family dislike him...so who do I choose? My bf or my family?
Q. i'm having a serious relationship with someone and i really know deep in my heart that this is it. both of us had a colorful yet infamous dating history tho his is much worse and more public. and we both agreed that the past is the past and we're ...
A. 5 February 2007: He needs to take time out to prove to your family by his actions that he's a changed man. Only then will they be able to eat their words. Sometimes parents think their kids are perfect and no one's good enough for them.
So what if you are disi... (read in full...)
He broke it off with me in such a cowardly way. How could he do this after 8 years together?
Q. Im 28 yrs old, and was with one guy for 8 years. We had ups and downs like any relationship, but we always admired and respected each other enough to work through our differences...We were living in a house together for 2 years, things were going ...
A. 5 February 2007: You said things were going downhill when you lived together and you both knew it! That's the FIRST clue! You both decided he should move to work with his dad so that he wouldn't FAIL you???? Jeeeeeze, poor guy that he has to prove himself to you. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my virgin boyfriend is ready?
Q. Hi. I'm a 15 year old girl. My boyfriend is 17. I've known him since I was 2 months old, and we fell in love when we were just little kids. We've been going steady for about 2 months now, and I feel that I'm completely ready to lose my virginity to ...
A. 5 February 2007: You've got this all sorted out haven't you? lol You say you've known him since you were 2 months old. You can't remember anyone at 2 months old let alone know this boy. "We fell in love when we were just little kids" Do you know what it actually ... (read in full...)
Are my feelings for him...simply close friendship or real love?
Q. Hi, I'm Altindie and for obvious reasons, I'd like some relationship advice. I met my current boyfriend over the internet. We chatted simply as friends, every day for about two years before we decided to take the plunge into boyfriend/girlfr...
A. 5 February 2007: Hi Altindie,
That's a good question, do you love him or not? As you know, talking over the internet is very different from talking face to face. We can conjure up a completely different picture of what we think they'll be like in reality,... (read in full...)
I want to leave my husband but I'm financially strapped. Any suggestions?
Q. I have been married for over 3 years, but don't know if I love my husband anymore. I keep catching him in lies, and then he promises not to lie to me anymore. This has been a pattern for over 2 years. I have lost all trust in him. The most ...
A. 5 February 2007: I can totally understand how you feel. I too, was in a position like you and had 2 young kids. My mistake was staying with this very passive man who left me to do everything and I was higher paid than him. It sounds identical. I stayed with him ... (read in full...)
Me and my gf both have Cerebal Palsy. Her parents are very protective of her and it's hard for us to meet up. What can we do?
Q. I am a 25-year-old man who has Cerebral Palsy. I have been with my 26-year-old girlfriend, who also has Cerebral Palsy, for over 5 years. The relationship between ourselves is great and we really love each other. We are soul mates who met in our ...
A. 5 February 2007: Keep in touch and let me know how things go okay? Keep thinking positive always and things will change for you, you'll see!
Eve... (read in full...)
Me and my gf both have Cerebal Palsy. Her parents are very protective of her and it's hard for us to meet up. What can we do?
Q. I am a 25-year-old man who has Cerebral Palsy. I have been with my 26-year-old girlfriend, who also has Cerebral Palsy, for over 5 years. The relationship between ourselves is great and we really love each other. We are soul mates who met in our ...
A. 5 February 2007: Then for now love the best way is to just continue being her friend in email. If her parents have such a big hold over her the way you say they do then there is no alternative. She can't just walk out and do her own thing unfortunately, which I'm ... (read in full...)
What is the 'average' size??
Q. I'm worried that my penis is too small and just wanted some advice on the average size???...
A. 5 February 2007: At the end of the day, size is not what matters but how you use it! Here is a link I think you'll find very helpful. It answers all your questions and more.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/penissize.htm
Here is another link you... (read in full...)
He doesnt seem interested anymore but I dont want to lose him!!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a week and already having problems. I am 17 and he is 22 and i think the age gap is making him have second thoughts. His friends are the same age as him and all have younger partners. He just doesn't seem inte...
A. 5 February 2007: One week into the relationship and already things aren't working out huh? He's simply not for you love. Finish with him (before he does with you) and move on, you're obviously not compatible. Go out and enjoy yourself, take up a new hobby, keep ... (read in full...)
I just need to escape!!
Q. hi, I have quite a big problem. I finished with my ex girlfriend after being with her for just under a year, so i could get with another girl, who i thought i loved. I told this girl i loved her and i have been with her for 2months now. She tells...
A. 5 February 2007: Oh dear, the course of true love never runs smooth! There's no easy way to do this. I would try and be more unavailable when she calls. Don't stay on the phone with her too long, tell her you have things to get done. If she asks to go out ... (read in full...)
Why do I get these paranoid feelings??
Q. hello I am 16 and have a bf and we have been together for a month. I used to have a bf about a year ago and he didnt want anyone to know we were going out with each other (i can see now that he was obviously ashamed of me for some reason) :( So n...
A. 5 February 2007: This ex has knocked your confidence love. If your boyfriend hugs and kisses you openly in company then he's certainly not ashamed of you. In fact I'd say he was proud of the fact he has such a wonderful girlfriend! I have given you a link to look ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait until I ask about moving in??
Q. Is nearly 3 months too soon to ask someone how they feel about cohabitation? I really want to ask my boyfriend, as he has to move out of his house soon, and I have my own place. As far as I'm concerned, this guy is the one and I guess there's no set ...
A. 5 February 2007: Some guys take to co-habitation like a duck to water, others are really freaked out about it. It really all depends on the guy in question. 3 months isn't that long to be together though. You could mention that if he's stuck for a place to live ... (read in full...)
We're 13...I need an gift idea for for Valentine's Day!
Q. hey, im 13(so is he) and i havent got a clue what to get my bf for valentines day. he doesnt like football, or any other sports i dnt think, and i dont think hes the type for luv heart teddy bears, please help!!!! im completely stuck!!! what do i...
A. 5 February 2007: I would buy him a nice card and a leather "friendship" bracelet. They're not expensive and the meaning behind it goes a long way. Buy yourself one too and get him to put yours on your wrist and you put his on. Keep them on as long as you're ... (read in full...)
I got angry and told him to leave me alone! Now I'm regretful and want to say how sorry I am...what should I do?
Q. my boyfriend and I broke up almost 3 months ago now, we were together 8 months, we talked about the future a lot but then we seemed to suddenly not be able to communicate anymore. ive found these 3 months so difficult because i cant understand why i ...
A. 5 February 2007: If he hasn't been in contact with you in all this time then I'd safely say he's over you! I would leave it and move on. "You never miss the water till the well runs dry" comes to mind here.
Eve... (read in full...)
Feel disgusted that I have kissed two guys when drunk and have hurt my bf! What canI do?
Q. I have been very stupid twice.. I have been with boyfriend for 5years, xmas 2004 i was too drunk and kissed a friend, because i was drunk and we'd always been flirty i thought i loved him! we thought we had something special- when really we didnt at ...
A. 5 February 2007: What should you do? Simple! CUT OUT THE ALCOHOL! You can't control it.
Eve... (read in full...)
Finally got the courage to dump my boyfriend and now hes emotionally blackmailing me. What should I do?
Q. I finally got the courage to dump my boyfriend and now hes emotionally blackmailing me. I dont love him anymore and I have feelings for someone else so i told him i didnt want to be with him. Its the only solution i can come to. He has now said to ...
A. 5 February 2007: What do you do? STOP FEELING GUILTY!!! This guy is a total sleaze bag! He WON'T kill himself at all, he's using this blackmail as a form of control over you. "If I can't have her then no one will." Next time he calls you and you pick up and ... (read in full...)
I feel like I have taken him away from her!!
Q. hi, Ive just recently started dating this boy, and yesterday we were talkin about past relationships and he told me about the girl he lost his virginity to. He told me he loved her, but while he was goin out with her she died. He didn't go into d...
A. 5 February 2007: How old is he and how old was his ex? How long were they together? How long ago did she die before he got together with you? Please email me if you want any more help here.
Eve... (read in full...)
How far could we go???
Q. Me and my boyfriend are only teenagers and would like to know how far we could go, we have agreed not to have sex until 14 which is a couple of months?...
A. 5 February 2007: You and your boyfriend should be friends just now, doing the things that kids do at your age, not dating and thinking of taking on grown up responsibilites not to mention "problems." Sex and dating will all come soon enough but for now I would ... (read in full...)
Why get wedding day nerves??
Q. dear cupid, Why do people get nervous on there wedding day? it confuses me because before the wedding they the couple are all excited and then on the day they are nervous, why??...
A. 5 February 2007: There is an awful lot of hype put on wedding plans today (not to mention expense.) What if something goes wrong? What if the car doesn't turn up, worse still what if he or she doesn't turn up and leaves the other left at the alter? All those ... (read in full...)
I really like him but I dont want to ruin our friendship as we're so close. What should I do?
Q. i have been best friends wiv this lad in my class for quite a while now,and we've gotten quite close lately.recently i hav been having quite strong feelings towards him. we get on realy well and i dont know whether he feels the same way. i dont want ...
A. 5 February 2007: Continue with your friendship and nothing more for now. Girls have different emotions from boys and they are more mature than boys (especially boys and girls of your age). If you try to get closer then trust me... he'll bolt! You'll scare him off ... (read in full...)
He's my ex and we still have sex. But I'm 2nd best to his gf...what should I do?
Q. What does my ex boyfriend want from me? How do you distinguish between still having feelings for your ex, and just still being attracted to the things that made you fall for them in the first place? I've been on the fence about my feelings for my ...
A. 5 February 2007: If you want to continue to be friends with him then there's absolutely no reason why you can't but it MUST be on a plutonic basis only. Giving him more ie sex, is only screwing him up.
He feels comfortable with you and can talk to you, he's kno... (read in full...)
Are women more sentimental than men?
Q. Are women more sentimantal than men? I feel as though in a relationship there's a big difference between things that women hold dear to them compared to men (eg keeping love letters, presents etc.). Do they just handle it differently? ...
A. 5 February 2007: Women tend to use the right side of their brain (emotions, creativity etc) and men mostly use the left side (analysing). There are vast differences between men and women. I suggest you buy the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John ... (read in full...)
I want to leave my husband but I'm financially strapped. Any suggestions?
Q. I have been married for over 3 years, but don't know if I love my husband anymore. I keep catching him in lies, and then he promises not to lie to me anymore. This has been a pattern for over 2 years. I have lost all trust in him. The most ...
A. 5 February 2007: There is obviously something lacking in your marriage when he feels he has to call phone sex lines. Do you talk regularly? Are you still intimate regularly? Communication is a big part of any relationship and if this is lacking then you need to ... (read in full...)
Me and my gf both have Cerebal Palsy. Her parents are very protective of her and it's hard for us to meet up. What can we do?
Q. I am a 25-year-old man who has Cerebral Palsy. I have been with my 26-year-old girlfriend, who also has Cerebral Palsy, for over 5 years. The relationship between ourselves is great and we really love each other. We are soul mates who met in our ...
A. 4 February 2007: Then I suggest you keep at it and be her friend for now. I'm sure she'll be able to get through to her parents soon enough. They have to understand she is a grown woman now and she DESERVES to be happy. Can she not write them an email if that's ... (read in full...)
Me and my gf both have Cerebal Palsy. Her parents are very protective of her and it's hard for us to meet up. What can we do?
Q. I am a 25-year-old man who has Cerebral Palsy. I have been with my 26-year-old girlfriend, who also has Cerebral Palsy, for over 5 years. The relationship between ourselves is great and we really love each other. We are soul mates who met in our ...
A. 4 February 2007: Would you be able to move over there to be with her? Why don't you write a letter to her parents explaining to them that you don't want a sexual relationship with their daughter but you do have a lot of feelings for her and would love to be friends ... (read in full...)
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