A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi. ive been dumped well it feels like iv been dumped he says we are on a break for exacty 2 months and that he wasnt goin to change his mind,he says if he loves me after 2 months then he'll know he really loves me..wat is this about.we've been together 6yrs..is he trying to get rid of me or testing me to see if ill go off wit somebody else. im hurt by this and confused about wat he wants. does anybody have any insight..i know males think differently to females so wats up?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): Wait one second before you slash the poor guy up. I went through this before and made the same statement to my GF!
It sounds like this to me, the guy has negitive and positive feelings for you. There is something about your relationship togather or specificaly about you that is bothering him and he's having trouble dealing with it and he feels like he's losing his mind inside because he can't make up his mind about you. The fact that he said two months says alot actually, it tells me that he is not totally done with you yet, it means that he wants a little time to test out what another life would be like without you while still having you around incase it doesn't fit or doesn't sit well with him...
It could also be that he wants to leave you but is afraid that pain may settle in afterwards, thus he is leaving himself options. Does this suck? Yes but it's natural human preservation.
There's two ways you can handle this as I see it:
#1. Play what i like to call "The Game" at him. You would have to abruptly deny him to his face and stick to it as if YOU have decided againts having him anymore. Believe it or not, an act like this can drive a man back into a womans arms even if she cheated or was the actual devil. Fear of rejection is a B*T*H!
#2. Stay calm and act supporting to his need of space but don't share with him every move you make either, leave his mind to wander and be "A LITTLE" jealous of what you are up to. Make sure to be everything that you know he wants when you two do see each other. Be the girl that he wants you to be and based ont he thigns you know about what he likes of you, avoid acting or doing the things that he doesn't to your best of ability.
One last thing, if he cares about you this will not last 2 months. I going to assume 1-3 weeks TOPS! if it last any more and he's disapearing more often and not calling etc...I'm sorry hun, but there is someone else already or he really is happy being alone for a change in his life.
Try to remember that this is your life and you have to make live by the decisions that you make so don't let my words, your own pride or anyone elses words distract you from doing what your heart is telling you...
Best of luck hun...
A
male
reader, zgeek  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 it sounds like he either is- wanting to test his feelings for you so he can see how much he dose love you or he is testing you by letting you go and seeing after 2 months if you will come back. If not those then he probably has soem other good reason to do that just go with it and see waht coems out of it.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (15 February 2007):
 I think he really just wants to test his feelings for you. You can't read his mind. It may be that he is crazy for you and is thinking about settling down but just wants to be sure (hence the break.) On the other hand it may be that he isn't as keen on you any more and thinks if you both have a break it will test his feelings to see whether or not he misses you more than he thought he would.
Whatever the reason I would respect it, especially if you still have feelings for him. I'm sure he has a very good reason for asking for this break so I would go along with it. Who knows, there may be a nice surprise at the end of it. I wouldn't read too much into it though (re him going off you.) Give him his space. 2 months isn't that long. It will be good for you too as you can see whether you really miss him too!
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): a 2 month break to see if he really loves you??? what kind of BS is that, screw that, if I was you I would not take him back after that, that is so awful, he should not have to take any time off from the relationship, his up to something, non of this sounds right to me. his been with you six years, how can he be unsure about weather or not he loves you, what a jerk!
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