A
male
age
41-50,
*laughtered
writes:Hello, im a 25 year old dude with a problem thats around 7 or 8 years old. Yes its a girl, who i'm truly madly deeply in love with. She's seeing this guy from down the country and lived with him for the summer, that was fine cos it was easier for me not to think about her, but now she's back and we just spent 4 days in amsterdam with my brother. These feelings came back like a tidal wave and now i feel i love her even more. there is no other girl i want since i know her so well but i know she really loves her boyfriend. i've often wished for death, and what keeps me going is the thought that one day we might actually get together. I'm living in sadness, please help me.thank you.:( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (13 February 2007):
Oh, you seem like such a really decent guy. What i think you should do is, when you see her next, tell her how you feel about her. Just tell her EVERYTHING. If she feels the same, she should leave her boyfriend for you. But dont let her use you as a bit on the side. If she wont leave her boyfriend for you after you have told her how you feel, then please just realise that there is someone out there who will love you for who you are. Some woman will feel the way about you that you are feeling now. You deserve to be happy and please dont wish you were dead. Find something else you are passionate about, like a hobby or something. Message me if you need any support or want to talk more x
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (13 February 2007):
 I think there's a lot more going on in your mind than just her. Apart from this woman, how is your life going at the moment? Why would you ever wish for death? Are you being serious here or just over dramatic? Email me if you want to talk about this some more okay?
Eve
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 I think you will be happier if you will find the strength to let go of your wish to be with this woman.
Surely there must be someone else for you out there, but if you keep on wishing to have this particular woman then no-one else will have a chance of even catching your eye, and every person you go out with will be compared to your idea of your perfect friend.
Also, remember that whereas she might be perfect in your imagination, you don't know what it's like to live with her. Maybe she is extremely irritable when she's under pressure, maybe she has a couple of gray/beige cotton underwears that aren't flattering at all on her, maybe her mother would be a horrible mother-in-law, maybe she bites her nails and spits them out behind the couch, maybe she squeezes the tube of toothpaste from the middle, maybe she's one of those women who get really upset when you leave the seat up... Let's just say that nobody is perfect.
I can understand what it's like for you now. It's not a very pleasant experience to love what you can't have, especially for so long, and I warmly wish you luck in finding your happiness.
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