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Why does this keep happening with guys? What's up with me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 February 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, *repa writes:

I haver dated 3 different guys within the time period between June and now (which is February). I am begining to become a bit unsettled by the fact that each guy I've been with has given me the clear impression that he's very interested in me. Whereafter... I had either walked in on them with another girl, they told me that I didn't live up to their physical ideals and that instead my best friend did.

The last two guys I am still good friends with, and they are seemingly very kind and philosophical people. I guess my question is... why does this keep happening to me with even guys that I think are wonderfull? I am not hideous looking or anything either.

View related questions: best friend, period

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2007):

AskEve agony auntDid you spend enough time getting to really KNOW these guys more before going to bed with them? I get the feeling you may have been intimate with them too soon, I way be way off here but it's just a feeling.

Lots of guys are out there to "play the field", have fun, "score", they don't want committed relationships, that's why you need to take time to get to know them better and see what they want from a relationship. I find (and this is only my opinion) that if you sleep with a guy too quickly then he gets what he wants on a plate, before really getting to know you. Keep a bit of mystery about you when you meet someone. Be their friend first and don't just dive in there, get to know them first, their likes and dislikes, you might find you don't have anything in common with them and that's the reason we date, to find out if we are compatible with one another.

It may be you didn't sleep with any of them and if this is the case then I apologise. There's nothing up with you though, you've both just had different ideas or interests. Change your tactics a bit, get to know them first, if a guy really likes you, he'll wait as long as it takes before sleeping with you and that shows RESPECT! Sometimes we need to kiss a lot of frogs before we meet our prince.

Eve

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (16 February 2007):

kenny agony auntDon't get into your head that you are the one with the problem because you are not. Just because you are not the one for these guys does not mean that there is something wrong with you.

You are still young, sooner or later you will meet the perfect guy who thinks you are the best thing since sliced bread.

We all go through relationships that don't work for whatever reason, put them down to a learning curve, water under the bridge, and move on.

Good luck x

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