A
female
age
,
AskEve
writes:MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE?Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, they seem to get married then get divorced again just as quick. Others think that once they marry then they’ll live happily ever after, “I am his and he is mines” and no one can tough us. Sad to believe but some people DO think this way!Out of my marriage I expect my partner to first of all be able to trust me, if I go out for a night with friends (and vice versa) I need him to know I will be coming home to him and won't have a wandering eye. There also needs to be respect on both sides too which means not making one another feel small or put down in front of others. Loyalty is another thing that I expect from my marriage and of course honesty. It is all too easy to start lying to one another so honesty on both sides is a must. Communication plays a big part in a marriage too. All too often marriage partners go about their everyday life without properly communicating with one another, like passing ships in the night. When communication breaks down then distance occurs and eventually separation. Last but by no means least, there needs to be love in a marriage. If there is true love then it will be able to forgive mistakes, overcome failings and show nurturing and caring, protecting and giving. Love is vital in a marriage.So to sum up, out of marriage there should be TRUST, RESPECT, LOYALTY, HONESTY, COMMUNICATION and LOVE. If these things are shown by both partners then you have the ingredients for a successful, long and happy marriage.~Eve~
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): I love what you said about Agape love...unconditional. In all honesty, I'm not sure I would be married today if it weren't for Jesus in the middle of my marriage. A family that prays together, stays together :)
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 I agree 100 % with what you've said. We also need to honest and realize there will be other temptations that come along. Perhaps temptations is too strong of a word. We need to understand that marriage is what you make it. Potential threats from outside the relationship are most threatening when there are cracks in the marriage foundation.
Example...if my wife shows me her love and devotion, treats me well and makes me understand she desires me, I won't fear others. If she does none of these things but enjoys going out without me, I may wonder. Marriage takes work and the understanding that we are individuals. There will be peaks and valleys and we need to keep focus. Never let your guard down or become too complacent. This is when problems can arise.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Very true, I can't fault you in what you say the phwoar factor is very important in marriage as is the companionship aspect of the relationship.
So I am not suggesting, nay not advocating that Eros or Philia are sacrificed on the Altar of Agape, because that would deny the special bond that is marriage. I just feel that a lot of relationship problems could be solved with a little more Agape, there are an awful lot of posts on here where the over riding concern is how an individual feels, sometimes displaying an often self centred approach to satisfying their needs. They look at their Life and see that the grass looks oh so much greener on the other side. When in truth if they displayed the characterestics of Agape they would find the fulfilment they are looking for
I am sure you would agree if the foundations of trust and intimacy are right the sexual side of marriage and the companionship found within the marriage will become easier as Agape will permeate these leading to less frustration and friction and more consideration for ones beloved (I love that word)
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (23 October 2008):
AskEve is verified as being by the original poster of the question You're absolutely right Spirit of Iona,but Agape love is the selfless love of one person for another WITHOUT sexual implications (especially love that is spiritual in nature). This is the love Jesus had for his Father and vice versa. It is the deepest form of love available but it is without sex. We should have this same kind of love for our partner just WITH the sex included! (winks):o)
~Eve~
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Hi Eve
I total agree with everything you said in the article and would say that all married people struggle with the mundane moments and the effects of kids and work on the marriage the stresses money or lack of it brings. I can't count the number of times I felt like walking out.
But I choose to stay "for better or for worse" and in so doing it becomes less about what I want and having my needs catered for first.
I often speak of what the Greeks call Agape the all encapsulating Love the love that stands the test of time Eros and Philia (passion and companionship) are important but Agape is the heartbeat of marriage and marriage needs it in abundance so in the following for Love read Agape...
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Get this right and sex and companionship within the marriage will not be a problem as Agape will permeate these
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (18 October 2008):
AskEve is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's true Smiles but the commitment would be incorporated/built in through loyalty and trust and of course if you truly loved one another then the commitment would be automatic. Sometimes us girls just like to hear that reassurance from our partner that they're committed too.
~Eve~
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): Dear Trish and Eve
Well done, you have said it all and yes; you named all the most important "ingredients"; I would just very humbly like to add: COMMITMENT ( the outer expression of an inner dedication).
Getting married is not just a promise "till death do us part" but it is a CONSCIOUS COMMITMENT between two people to be together.
There need to be a conscious commitment together with the "ingredients" as described by both of you.
(Vow, the divorce lawyers will go out of business)!
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (17 October 2008):
AskEve is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I agree Tish, good point. A sense of humour is important too for both couples to have. Laughing has often diffused many a situation and... it's good for the soul!
~Eve~
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 October 2008):
 Hear, hear, AskEve! A very nice and concise article on secrets of a happy marriage. If I may be so presumptous, I'd like to add an important aid to your list. And that is a sense of humor.
If you can find the humor in the situations that you face in dealing with your spouse, even in the most exasperating of circumstances, you will diffuse so much tension and be able to tackle the problems with a positive attitude.
I don't mean the kind of humor that makes fun of the other person. I mean the kind of humor that sees the absurdity in the situation, that kind will help you see the larger picture, pull the two of you together in a shared, private joke and help you focus on the real issue, whatever that might be.
xxx Tisha
...............................
|
