My husband is a lovely man but lacks confidence and seems to have no social skills, how can I help him?
Q. I have been married for almost ten years. My husband is a good man; kind and loving. However, for the eleven years i have known him, he has had little confidence. He doesn't have great social skills, and finds conversation difficult. He doesn't ...
A. 6 March 2007: I agree with tellulah; your husband has been like this for a long time now and has no reason to change. This is obviously upsetting you too, and it's time to communicate this to him. He is probably unhappy that he doesn't have good friends, and ... (read in full...)
I've gone off sex and its killing my marriage can you help?
Q. I've gone off sex and its killing my marriage can you help?...
A. 6 March 2007: You haven't given us too much to go on. Why have you lost interest in sex? Are you on any medications which might cause your sex drive to decrease dramatically? Is it sex itself, or particularly sex with your husband that you have lost interest in? ... (read in full...)
He says he doesnt know what he wants out of life or what path to take.. do I just sit and wait till he decides!!?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been living together for nearly 2 years now and have been talking, about our future and the possibility of getting married when we're ready. Everything seemed fine at first, but recently he's had an aggressive tone with me ...
A. 2 March 2007: And what do YOU want? Have you thought about that?
You have been living together now for two years already and you're still quite young. Do you really want to settle down to marriage and children?
Perhaps you should think about what you want... (read in full...)
My husband cheated and we spent 18 months building bridges, but then I find her number in his wallet!!
Q. I am so lost. My husband of nearly 20yrs had an affair for almost a year. He ended it when I found out and we have been building bridges for the past 18 months. Obviously the trust is very shakey thus the reason why I sometimes check his wallet. ...
A. 28 February 2007: I'm so sorry that this has happened to you again. Nothing that anybody says here can ease the hurt you are no doubt feeling now.
However, the power to make a change in your situation rests with you. You may feel like your options are limi... (read in full...)
I love her but she writes down my behaviour and i'm always in the wrong!
Q. How do i get around this? I have been with my woman 3 years. I seem to be always wrong about something. If i`m tired,i`m falling asleep on her.If she`s tired,she`s tired,end of story. When we go shopping its a case of hours,if i look at something ...
A. 16 February 2007: My parents' relationship was very like yours, except my mother didn't keep notes (at least not that i'm aware of). My father left after 29 years of marriage, and he's never been happier. He has a life now, although no relationship. He says he ... (read in full...)
My husband has no hobbies and no friends. How can I get our marriage back on track?
Q. I have been married to a kind and loving man for 9 years. It's a good marriage, but like everyone we have our ups and downs. One issue in particular raises its ugly head every couple of years. My husband has no friends. He has no interests or ...
A. 15 February 2007: Well, he certainly sounds like a very laid-back man!
Has he always been this way i wonder? When you met him first did he have interests and friends? Though in the first flush of love and attraction those things often fall by the wayside.
You c... (read in full...)
We have grown apart-how do I tell him I am not in love with him anymore?
Q. I am 38 spent a lifetime with my husband married him when i was 18,hung through it all and now i am not so sure,i am just confused on how to tell him i am not in love with him anymore. I care for his well being ,i truley feel we are best friends...
A. 14 February 2007: I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. It's hard to think that a long-running relationship might be coming to a natural end after 20 years. You sound like you have given this a lot of thought. I'm sure you have considered that you are just ... (read in full...)
Are there really principled men out there?
Q. I'm a married lady; been married for nearly 10 years now. I'm mostly happy with my husband, and don't want to leave the marriage. Last year i met a great guy i had chemistry with. At the time, we were both honest about our feelings. But as i tol...
A. 13 February 2007: Absolutely there are principled men out there. And women too. I guess that a lot of people presume that if a man is offered the chance of sex, he will take it no matter what the circumstances. It sounds to me like this man has decided that he ... (read in full...)
Please help me to heal after my break up
Q. My affair of a year has just ended. I knew it wouldnt last forever since im married and had no plans to leave my husband but I also fell for this guy and hard. We have had such a connection on a deeper level and now he is moving on to try and star...
A. 8 February 2007: Breakups are hard, aren't they? Particularly if you've risked a lot to have this relationship. I can empathise completely with you, i almost started an affair last year. The feelings were unbelievably strong. And even though we decided in the end ... (read in full...)
My husband has admitted he visited a brothel but said nothing happened. Do I believe him???
Q. I recently found the numbers of two local brothels and two massage parlours in my husband's computer and on his mobile phone bill. When I asked him to explain he said he likes to ring them and ask about their services so he can masturbate as they ...
A. 8 February 2007: I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I agree with the other 'aunt'; you will never know for sure what happened at the brothel. You can now choose to work on your marriage with your husband, and try to make sure that this doesn't ... (read in full...)
She wants to break up with me and remain friends as there is "no spark" in our relationship!
Q. This question may seem long, however i am only including the relevent info because i believe this is a unique situation and need some advice. I am in my mid twenties and i had been dating this lovely lady for a few months. We started off as frien...
A. 8 February 2007: Only you can decide if you can bear to be 'just friends' with this lady. It's what she wants, but can you do that?
As to the other questions, take her at her word. If she says she doesn't feel a spark, believe her. She has no reason to lie to y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so lax, is this what he's going to be like if we move in together?
Q. I am 18, my boyfriend,20. We have been together 4 years. We are best friend also and spend all our time outside of work together. Whether that be, he sits in my room watching one thing, whilst I sit downstairs with my mum watching another, or us ...
A. 8 February 2007: Yes, this is a bad idea for sure. If he can't even manage to obtain his own bank statements, then it doesn't bode well for your partnership if you're living together. Who do you think will be responsible for paying the bills, for connecting the ... (read in full...)
How can I make my feelings clear, without scaring her away?
Q. I went out a couple of times with a girl last year but our relationship did not become a sexual one. She has had emotional difficulties and has been in quite a bad way and for some months she did not want to go out with me. I thought it was over ...
A. 8 February 2007: Yes, don't make a big deal out of valentine's day. It's early days for the two of you. I agree with the other 'aunt'; as this lady has been through some tough times in the last year it would be best to leave the decisions up to her. Tell her that ... (read in full...)
We both got drunk on Sat and I said things I regret...
Q. I have been arguing with my boyfriend recently over silly things and I think this is because we work together and have recently moved in together. It came to a head on Saturday night as we were both drunk and I said things I really didn’t mean. I ...
A. 8 February 2007: I'm sorry, but it sounds like that ship has sailed. He was just looking for a way out, and he found it in your argument at the weekend. Don't email, call or text him again. If he wants to contact you he will. You've done enough apologising. ... (read in full...)
I would like another child but my partner says no way!
Q. I want another child but my boyfriend doesn't. Our son is 3 years old now and idon't want him to be a only child. Money is not a problem....
A. 7 February 2007: Children can place a lot of strain on a relationship; are you sure that you've thought this through enough? Your partner may be happy with the family you already have. Just because you 'want' a child isn't really a good enough reason for having ... (read in full...)
Will I ever be able to come to terms with the fact that my wife had an affair?
Q. A year ago my wife had an affair. We separated and now we are wondering if we could work things out. Can I ever forgive and forget about what happened and how do I deal with knowing that she went out for a year long adventure??? without me?...
A. 7 February 2007: Yes, it is possible to forgive an affair. I don't know if it's possible to forget though. But i'm not sure that it should be forgotten anyway. It will make you more selfish if you give your relationship another try; it's not always a bad thing.
I... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't touch me but he masturbates everynight. What can I do?
Q. My husband will not touch me but I walk in on him every night pleasing himself. what do I do?...
A. 3 February 2007: I don't know if this is a 'normal' situation. Guys masturbate, sure. But as a replacement for sex with a loving wife? Doesn't sound normal to me.
Make your feelings known to your husband. Intimacy is a normal part of married life; if he's choo... (read in full...)
She suddenly said she needed time to work things through--help me understand this girl. Advice?
Q. I'm really confused. I've got a very close female friend. My best friend, really. Anyway, I have had a really strange off and on relationship with her. We have never been together, but the chemistry and sexual tension is off the chart. We've ...
A. 3 February 2007: This must be so hard for you. But you have to accept that she isn't ready to clarify how she feels about things to you. Of course she's confused. She probably feels like she loves you both.
Give her the space she needs, and just be there for ... (read in full...)
She knows how I feel for her but she has a bf. Should I just remain friends with her or back off?
Q. I have a close female friend, who I've known for a few years. I think we know each other very well, we've always been pretty open with each other to the point that when I started to feel that she could be more than a friend I felt comfortable that I ...
A. 2 February 2007: Have you already told her how you feel? If you guys didn't discuss it when that happened, then it's a safe bet that she's either confused and doesn't know what she wants or she's not confused and just doesn't want to have a relationship with you.
J... (read in full...)
I feel cheated and used... am I being taken advantage of?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been seeing a guy now for about a month, I say seeing, its more sleeping together occasionally and friendship. At the beginning he wanted me around a lot, now he brushes me off often and I get to see him once, maybe twice a we...
A. 1 February 2007: Yes, i agree. This guy isn't interested in forming a relationship with you. The situation has suited him up until now, with him calling the shots. Now that you want more from him, he is withdrawing.
Find someone who actually wants to have a rela... (read in full...)
He wanted to meet but wouldn't confirm anything! Is he playing me?
Q. Dear agony aunt, I met a nice bloke not last sat but the sat before through a friend of mine. We danced most of the night he said i was beautiful and couldnt understand why i was single. so later that evening we kissed i left and went home. My ...
A. 1 February 2007: Agree with the others; just let this one go. Whatever is going on in his life at the moment, he doesn't want to start anything with you.
It is so irritating though, isn't it? Maybe he's just one of those guys who likes to have loads of girls text... (read in full...)
My husband is a good guy, but I feel the wrong one for me. I hate the thought of staying with him AND leaving him!
Q. I have been married for ten years. I married the wrong guy; my husband is a good person, he just isn't the one for me. I am a people person, and he is a 'person' person. He only seems to need me, and isn't interested in making friends or having ...
A. 1 February 2007: I'm so sorry to hear that you're in this situation. Sometimes we get ourselves into predicaments that it's really tough to get out of. Trying to decide whether to end a marriage is one of the most difficult.
I don't think you need to be too hard... (read in full...)
I have love and companionship and a cosy home.. but no sex. Is it worth risking everything for a sexual relationship?
Q. I've been married 8 years, no kids. I'm in my late 40s, my wife just over 50. We knew each other for a few years before we got together romantically. It was sexy and exiting at first and I remember thinking at last here was the girl who had ...
A. 26 January 2007: I really feel for you. Sexual intimacy is a normal part of a good, healthy marriage. You are not awful to want and expect this. I am surprised that your wife has not done more from her side to investigate why she feels this way about sex. A ... (read in full...)
Feel I've messed up by marrying someone who was my best friend but I didn't love - I was too afraid to hurt her by breaking up!
Q. I think perhaps I have made a mistake by getting married. We got together 8 years ago, split up after 3 then got back together the next year. Ever since then (4 years) I have felt that there has been something lacking: we get on fine but I don't ...
A. 25 January 2007: Oh dear, you really are in a bind, aren't you? I completely understand where you're coming from. It's easy to drift into marriage with somebody who you can rub along with quite happily for 90% of the time. This all works well until one party meets ... (read in full...)
Gf left me for someone she just met! What can I do?
Q. What can i do when my girlfriend of 6years leaves me for someone whom she just met??...
A. 24 January 2007: I agree with the others. Your options are the passive one (sit and wait for her uncertain return) or the active one (go and live your life and try to derive some happiness from it).
This is a horrible thing you're going through, and i know you'... (read in full...)
Not sure if I need this as a piece off my chest or I need advice!?
Q. I don't know if I need advice or just to speak my peice. My wife and I have been married for 5+ years. Durring which we have ebbed and flowed to the point that I would beleive at times she has another relationship. This is the only night of the week ...
A. 24 January 2007: I'm sorry to hear that you're so unhappy. Were things always like this with your wife? It sounds like it's been going on for a while. Sometimes, relationships aren't meant to last. People make mistakes and get married to the wrong person, or ... (read in full...)
Do you think I stand a chance of getting him to give us another go ?
Q. PLease help. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple of months ago, although I begged him to change his mind he said he couldnt. The reason he broke up with me is cos he was worried that he couldnt see a long term future for us. BAsically, he wa...
A. 24 January 2007: I think that the best way of showing your ex how independent you are would be to cut the contact for a while. At least from your end of things. Fill your life up with friends, family, work/study, hobbies, travel. Don't call him. Don't always ... (read in full...)
Thought I was completely over my ex, until we met up again. She single so what Should I do now?
Q. My ex whom I dated for a year and a half broke up with me about 7 months ago. It turned out she left me for someone else which was heartbreaking at the time, but now im over it. Anyways I stumbled across my ex after not talking to her in the longest ...
A. 20 January 2007: Yes, you're both single now. Just ask her straight out if she'd like to start seeing each other again. Better to do it sooner rather than later; if you guys spend time together without clarifying things then you could get hurt. If she doesn't ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to apologise?
Q. I'm wondering what you think is the best way to apologize to your significant other???...
A. 20 January 2007: I'm not being smart, but i think it's really important to use the actual words 'I'm Sorry'. So many people say 'i apologise' which doesn't have the same sincerity. Using the S word means that you're actually acknowledging you're at fault.
D... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and in love! But he doesn't feel the same. Should I just forget him then?
Q. i am 16 and in love! The problem is the guy i love doesn't like me like that! he flirts all the time with me but tells me he doesnt like me! He has told me a few times that he likes me but if i confront him about it he acts like he was joking. ...
A. 19 January 2007: I think this guy possibly likes you, but for whatever reason isn't going to make a move. So, at the wonderful age of 16, are you going to hang around waiting for him to make up his mind????
I hope not. Go out, have fun with your friends, flirt with... (read in full...)
His wife doesn't seem done with their marriage. I feel guilty for being w/ him and don't know what to do!
Q. I met my boyfriend at work, he is a customer. We got along famously like old friends. I learn that he is seperated but I let the friendship continue even though I know I am attracted to him. I even gave him my phone number when he asked after about ...
A. 19 January 2007: I think the time has come for you to tell your boyfriend exactly what your priorities are in order for your relationship to work. It is obviously important to you that he formally finish his relationship with his wife; if he doesn't do this, then ... (read in full...)
He's goes behind my back and contacts his ex, and takes numbers from other girls! What should I do?
Q. Hi My boyfriend and I went out at university and he cheated a few times (it was long distance). We broke up but a year later we got back together because he is finished universty. I said there was a lot of things that needed to be done on his p...
A. 19 January 2007: You must ask yourself what you want and deserve here. Do you want to be in a relationship with a man who lies to you and perhaps cheats on you? Or are you content to turn a blind eye to his behaviour?
If you want a trustworthy man, you will need... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wife won't leave us alone! We just want to be left in peace. I can't take the pressure!
Q. Hi Everyone, I Would like some help please, as i am really getting upset. I have been with my boyfriend for a year this week and i love him so much. My problem is his ex wife, she won't leave him alone. I was best friends with my boyfriend for ye...
A. 19 January 2007: This is a very difficult situation for everybody involved. Perhaps your partner's ex feels that the two of you were somehow together before they split up? In any case, she was bound to feel put out, no matter who he started a relationship with.
... (read in full...)
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