A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband has had an affair which is over.The woman involved keeps phoning and texting both of us.She is now involving work and his ex wife.She says all she wants is to talk to him and needs answers.I told him he was not to have any contact with her,but she will not go away,any advice please
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): I imagine that the woman is trying to hang onto whatever she had with your husband and it really is his place to make her understand that it's over between them. If he really has tried this, and isn't just being a coward and hoping she will go away by herself then I suggest you tell him to invite her to come and talk to him with you present also, that way she will know for sure that he means to stay with you, and she probably won't need to even come, as by saying that she should get the message.
It sounds to me like your husband may not be being as assertive as he could be with her, and rightly or wrongly, he has entered into a relationship with her, that she will have to get over and he needs to sort it out. It shouldn't be left to you to deal with it, you have enough to cope with as it is in getting over what he has done.
I hope it all works out for you xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): hi there, my advice is change both your mobile numbers and warn this "bunny boiler" that you will go to the police if she continues to harrass you in this way. if your husband wants to cut all ties with this woman he must be firm, tell her to stay away and stick to this decision. hope this helps! good luck!
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (15 February 2007):
 If she's so desperate to talk with him then tell him to say to her he'll meet with her. What she doesn't know is.... YOU GO TOO! There's nothing she can't say to him that she can't say in front of you too and of course your husband has nothing to hide so you both meet up with her (don't let her know that though or she might not show.)
Let her get it all off her chest then afterwards let your husband tell her he doesn't want to hear from her again, it's over, it was a bad mistake and he's just NOT INTERESTED! This will let her see that what you and your husband have is a strong bond and that all talking or pleading to him is now futile as you are and always will be, the most important person in his life.
If it comes to it and she does keep pestering you both, then change your phone number.
Good luck! ;o)
Eve
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A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 It's good that you told him not to have contact with this woman and he's complying with your wishes. I think that YOU need to talk to her. If she needs answers, give her what she wants so she'll go away. Maybe there is more to it than you know. How long ago was this affair and how long did it last? If it was awhile, she's probably emotionally attached to him and most people would like answers after a break-up. The answers don't have to be from him, but from someone. This woman just needs someone to talk to her and let her know that there is no need for communication between you guys and her anymore. It's over and done with and make it a point to let her know that. If it comes down to it, threaten to call the police on her if she can't keep her distance from you guys.
GOOD LUCK!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): Hi There,I recently had an emotional affair with a married man, which culminated in spending one night together just before Christmas. Afterwards he cooled off completely and Ive not heard from him since.Im guessing that he feels guilty and is trying to forget about me and concentrate on his marriage, and Im also very aware that it wasn't right to fall for a married man, but it has been very hard to get over him by myself and I spent a few weeks texting and emailing him with no response.Im not trying to justify this lady's behaviour, but thought telling you this might help you at least understamd why she may be acting this way. I finally gave up trying to get him to repond to me and am getting over it by myself.I admit that Ive made a fool of myself over this man by contacting him and Ive learned a terribly hard lesson in all of this, and hope it all works out for you and your husband.xxx
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A
female
reader, blueking +, writes (15 February 2007):
when i found out my husband was having an affair, it was me who went to talk to the women, i needed answers from her, maybe you could talk to her and find out what she wants....it may also give you an insight into why your husband had the affair and help you either come to terms with it or help you to walk away...goodluck
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