A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello I am 16 and have a bf and we have been together for a month. I used to have a bf about a year ago and he didnt want anyone to know we were going out with each other (i can see now that he was obviously ashamed of me for some reason) :(So now i have a new bf i keep thinking that he is ashamed of me. I just get paranoid that he is ashamed to be with me and hug me in-front of others, but he does hug me and everyone knows we are together so he cant be ashamed of me can he?so why do i still get these paranoid feelings? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007): hi i am the person that asked this question:
my ex bf also cheated on me. do you think that knocked my confidence aswell?
(my current bf doesnt know i have had a bf who treated me like that, do you think i should tell him or not?)
ps thanks for all your advise
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (5 February 2007):
 This ex has knocked your confidence love. If your boyfriend hugs and kisses you openly in company then he's certainly not ashamed of you. In fact I'd say he was proud of the fact he has such a wonderful girlfriend! I have given you a link to look at that will help you build up your confidence.
http://pickbrains.com/how-do-i-build-up-my-confidence
Don't worry about this too much though, it sounds to me as if he loves you heaps! :o)
Eve
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (4 February 2007):
 This ex obviously hurt you more than you thought. Feelings like this don't go away over night. If someone has really hurt it, that can stay with us forever. The trick is not to let it ruin every good thing that happens in the future. You need to snap out of this and realise how worthy of love and happiness you are.
Maybe see a professional to work on this insecurity. Your new boyfriend doesn't sound like your ex and you don't want to lose him by pushing him away because of what this other loser did. If you don't get this sorted, it will ruin everything you ever have as things like this stick around forever.
Get it sorted and move on, don't let the ex ruin your chances of happiness. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Miss Optimistic +, writes (4 February 2007):
This is just a result of your ex's behaviour. Luckily for you the new boyfriend is nothing like him!!
Let him love you and your confidence will return. Be careful not to ruin things with insecurity, if you think you can, try to talk things through with him.
Good luck and best wishes
xx
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