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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have this bf for almost 6months, we both had a relationship prior to ours now and got out with it for us to have a relationship together. Everything seems ok coz we both are striving hard for our relationship to work out, we've done both our part. The thing is on our first month i saw on his personal computer that he still had aa pic of his ex and it hurts me, but havent told him about it just being so considerate about the situation.May i ask is it ok if i had to take a pic of us then let him put it in his wallet? what would be the best approach? im afraid to open up his pc because i dont want to see those stuff again.please help.thanks
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Hey sweet thang,
Well, there's certainly no harm in taking pictures of the two of you together and giving him some copies. That sounds sweet and fun. However, that's not going to make him get rid of the picture(s) of his ex.
I have tons of pictures of several ex boyfriends. I even have old notes and gifts that they gave me. I don't look at those pictures and lust for the past, but I look at them and smile. It's nice to remember faces. Don't you have pictures of old friends?
Honestly, he's with you now. The pictures are only memories. I do think you could take some pictures of the two of you and make some memories of your own!
xxIndia
A
female
reader, JulietteElise +, writes (5 February 2007):
 hmmm... did you have to surch for these pictures? meaning, where they in a file/folder somewhere, or perhaps just in his pictures files? If so, don't worry! after all, don't you have pics of exs somewhere? maybe even an old prom pic? unless his background on the computer is a huge pic or college of the ex, theres no need to worry. You don't have to feel jelouse or insequre, because hes with you! But if it continues to hurt you, you can mention it to him, but i'm sure its not as big a deal to him as it is to you. I know i still have tons of pics of all my past b/fs, its just memories, it dousnt mean i want to date them again. If, however, these pics are of a pornograhic nature of his ex, you deff. have the right to ask him to remove them asap!
in the meantime, defitly give him a wallet pic of you two, or just you! you dont have to ask his permission for it :0) just give it to him. maybe if you still feel silly or shy about it, ask for a pic of him in return so you can carry it around too. i'm sure he'll be flatterd.
i know its tough, but pics of exes, though they often make the new g/f or b/f feel insequre, is not something to worry about unless they are promitly displayed throughout the whole house and they refuse to take them down/put up pics of you. The more you think about it, the more awfull you'll feel.... but once again, a CALM disscussion can be done if it still bothers you so greatly, but he may have even forgotten they were there, or never looks at them anyways.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 He may not even be aware that he still has her picure on his PC. Try not to be too jealous about this, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Go into one of those instant photo booths and have your picture taken with him then say casually "hey now you can carry me about with you wherever you go so I'll always be with you." That way you've given him the hint and leave the rest to him.
I'm sure, in time, if your relationship goes from strength to strength then you won't even need to ask him to remove the picture of his ex, he'll have removed it himself. You just need to trust him more.
Eve
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