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female
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anonymous
writes: hibeen with my b/f for over 2 years..we spent the whole day together yesterday and he took me home at night. I got there at about 9:40. I did ask him to call me later to say nite...1:15 am or so came, i decided to call and say night..a lot of times he is up at this time..no answer...he didnt call back..so didnt speak to him since 9:30..apart of me think this is silly that i would be suspicious..i call this morning...he said he was organizing stuff and made a pile of what to throw out in the garbage and he fell asleep. I asked about his phone and he said it was in jacket downstairs..a big part feels this is more than likely true and that i am being paranoid for thinking that he called someone else after me...didnt take a shower since yesterday so probably that would mean him going home to take a shower before he even met this girl..i guess i need reassurance or knowledge regarding if i am being silly or not. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 What makes you feel so paranoid? Has there been any other indications in the past that's given you this kind of feeling? If you were happy and content with him you would never feel this way so there must be something going on in your head? Have you ever caught him lying to you in the past?
His excuse sounds plausible and you maybe should give him the benefit of the doubt unless there are other little things niggling you that don't add up???
Eve
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007): Hold on there! Yes, you are being a bit silly over this! Think about it: you spent all day Sunday together and then he took you home about 9:40 p.m.
Seriously now, why did you feel it necessary to want to talk to him again after spending all that time, even if it was just to say goodnight? Don't you think that was a tad excessive? Besides which, to call at 1:15 a.m. - WELL, he might have been asleep by then (even if he does sometimes stay up that late, you can't know that he would have done so yesterday). As it turns out, he was busy getting things ready to throw out, and understandably got tired.
It REALLY isn't a good idea to want to be that close, you know! You run the risk of him thinking you are checking up on him, or being a little too clingy, and maybe don't trust him. One would have thought YOU would have had things to do yourself when you got home, like getting ready for Monday morning, or catching up on a TV program, or doing a little reading before bedtime.
One way to make a man feel good about you (and I'm sure he does already) is to show you have a mind and life of your own, and are not trying to live in his pocket, so to speak, all the time!
Don't do it again!
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (5 February 2007):
 I agree with the two other posts, i think you are being a little paranoid.
Making a pile of stuff to throw out in the garbage, then falling asleep while his phone is downstairs in his pocket sounds like a perfectly justfiable reason for him not talking to you that night.
And if he called someone else after you his phone would have been engaged while you were calling.
Give him the benefit of the doubt.
x
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A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Yes, you are being silly, if this is all you have to go on! You`ve been together for two, presumably loving years, and don`t have any other doubts about this guy, apart from in your imagination! You haven`t mentioned that he has cheated on you, and in all probability he hasn`t! I think you are suffering from Low Self esteem, and need to build your confidence levels up. Your Boyfriend has wanted to be with you for two years, so you are obviously good company, desireable to him etc. Please take a Good Long look in the mirror, and see what your Boyfriend sees - The woman he Loves! A lot of us feel insecure from time to time, but with no indication of any wrong-doing from our partner, we have to trust them; as the best relationships are based on trust. The worst thing you could do, is to constantly question the guy, or check up on him, as this will diminish the trust in the relationship. Also, he will very quickly tire of being mis-trusted when he`s done nothing wrong; and you could loose him, not to another woman, but purely because he`s had enough of re-assuring you, when he shouldn`t have to. Please be again the confident, alluring woman he loves. Kind Regards, Heather xx
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Whoooaaa there, girl.
I have to side with your boyfriend here. I think you're being a little paranoid. 1:15am is a totally legit time to fall aseep. His story doesn't seem too far out. I don't have my phone next to me 24/7... he might have forgotten it in his jacket. I really think you need to ease up on this one. If you've been together over 2 years, why throw that out because he fell asleep? If he spent the whole day with you, he was probably a little tired, right?
This one needs to be let go, girlfriend.
xxIndia
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (5 February 2007):
 To be brutally honest I think you're being silly. He's given you a perfectly legitimate excuse that you have no reason not to believe. He's also not given you another reason not to trust him. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt until you have real reasons not to trust him.
CD
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