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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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Re: sex She said that girls are the only ones who give, to a man it means nothing too him. Advice?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for over a year and we both love each other and are committed. However I find her a bit one sided most of the time and today she said that when we had sex, she gave me somthing and I didn't give her anything. ...
A. 3 February 2007: Then that's the problem. When you do it sometimes, you have to do it "quick" because other people are in the house and you're afraid of someone walking in on you. A woman takes on average 25 minutes to heat up and come to orgasm so you can imagine ... (read in full...)
Do I apologize to her for an incident that happened a year ago?
Q. hey need very desperate help! last year i used to like this guy we were in the same bus. and there was a girl the same grade i was inthe same bus aswell. well one day my sis took photos of the girl's friend, and she wanted to look at them so she ...
A. 3 February 2007: Like you said, it's in the past. I would forget about it unless she ever brings it up. If she does, then apologise to her. You're both older and wiser now so hopefully it's forgotten about and you're just feeling a bit guilty about it.
I wou... (read in full...)
How do I orgasm during sex w/out touching myself? And how do I tell him I faked it??
Q. When ever i have sex i never climax.If i do it is because i touched myself but i never get one if i leave it up to my partner being inside of me. What's wrong with me? Is this normal? i want to be able to do this without touching myself but how do i ...
A. 3 February 2007: Telling a guy you faked an orgasm is VERY hurtful to his pride. I wouldn't tell him, just don't lie about it next time. Next time you sleep with a guy, tell him what turns you on, get him to "explore" down below more. Making love to a woman is a ... (read in full...)
My ex is going to show the girl he likes - the same girl who hates me - a humiliating video of me! I feel used and empty.
Q. My ex from over a year ago but thing still happen with us. Before he didnt want to speek 2 me but me, him and his friend went in his house and he was calling me as usuall and then smeared water on my face and it made me bang my head and I ran in his ...
A. 3 February 2007: Things were good with your ex once love but people change. The guy has no respect for you, he's being mean and spiteful to you... do you want to continue seeing someone like that? Come on, you're much more sensible than that. So what if he shows ... (read in full...)
My best friend does everything I do and then some - then acts as if she's better than me! What gives and how do I cope??
Q. Can someone help me cope with my copycat better than you attitude best friend? I love her and yes at times to death, but why does she ALWAYS compete with me??? I thought it was flattering in school, then I got married, she got married. I had ...
A. 3 February 2007: She admires you very much and wants to be like you. You should be flattered more than anything else. So what if she gets married and has a baby and buys a house, most people do that anyway. It could be worse, she could choose the same hairstyle, ... (read in full...)
Some other guy is with the girl I like. I want to put on a mask and beat him up! What should I do?
Q. Hi i really really really like this girl and she said she liked me but now shes goin out wif this other guy and i actually hate him. i want to beat him up and im on the verge of putting on a mask and absolutly kicking his face in. but i know i s...
A. 3 February 2007: When you say you hate him is it BECAUSE he's going out with the girl you fancy or does it go deeper than that? Beating this guy up isn't going to win her off him, in fact it will only push them closer together as she'll go all mushy on him and want ... (read in full...)
How can I get his attention when this other girl, is always taking it away?
Q. There is this guy in my circle of friends that I can’t help but think of a lot. We are just semi newly acquainted friends. I see him checking me out. I purposely wear cute clothes so he can notice me and it works. We’ve gotten to the stage (kind of...
A. 3 February 2007: Just continue doing what you're doing, it's obviously working. Continue to look great when you meet up with him, laugh, smile and be assertive and happy. (Guys like assertive women.) Don't moan or bitch about others but let your personality shine ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of him saying he worships me but treating me like s**t. Any advice?
Q. My lad's being really off with me lately then saying to my friends that I'm the one being off with him and tells them he worships me and loves me more than anything and never wants to lose me etc...but today he was in a right mood and took it out on ...
A. 3 February 2007: You need to decide do you really want this relationship? If you do, then you need to talk to him, tell him you find you can't do right for doing wrong with him. Ask him if there's anything bothering him and if he says you always seem off with him ... (read in full...)
I love Dave but I'm having Steve's baby! I know I can't have them both but I can't choose! Help!
Q. hi,im in such a confused state! i will start from the begining..in 2004 i got with a lad called David who was 18 (i was 21),we were fine 4 a while until i got pregnant and he said he couldn't handle it so finished with me,subsequently i had a ...
A. 2 February 2007: It seems to me you want David for the sexual chemistry you had with him. You have to grow up! You have a baby on the way and Steve loves you. You said you loved him but you can't truly love 2 people at the same time (no matter what you hear.) ... (read in full...)
She lied to me about her past, seems to be living a double life, and ended up giving me an STD! What do I do?
Q. I've been dating a girl for 4 years. the first year was great but then i started noticing she would avoid and hide issues of her past relationships. Anyway to make a long story short, (after 3 years of me drilling her with questions and gettin ...
A. 2 February 2007: One of the main cornerstones in a relationship is trust, if you don't have trust then you have nothing. How could you ever trust this woman again? You would always be doubting her, even if you worked through this and there would always be quarrels ... (read in full...)
How can I get boys to notice me?
Q. Hi, im 14 , i'm not popular but i'm still not a geek or anything. i think im pretty looking but i havnt had a boyfriend in a year and it's really starting to get to me. i think it's because i'm not popular and none of the boys notice me and to b...
A. 2 February 2007: Just be yourself, try and look your best and don't come across too loud or pushy. Be bubbly and friendly and let your personality attract them. Smile too, there's nothing more attractive than to see a girl smile. You are still very young and have ... (read in full...)
I don't have the guts to let my guard down around guys so I have a chance to get a bf! What do I do?
Q. Hi, I have a problem, and it's me. I'm a girl, above 20 years of age and I've never had a boyfriend or even been kissed. Guys find me attractive, and pay me wonderful compliments, but, I have this tendancy to keep a certain distance from them and...
A. 2 February 2007: I think you're terrified in case you freeze up, you're frightened things might get too heavy, he might try to kiss you or come on to you or try to sleep with you? What if you are a rubbish kisser? What if you don't know HOW to kiss properly? What ... (read in full...)
He said that I should be the one to buy our house, this way he can walk away if something should happen.
Q. I have been dating a guy for almost 2 yrs and he wants me to move in with him at one of his rentals,I suggest getting married and buying a house of our own,but he thinks that is foolish since he allready has one that he likes cause it is in the ...
A. 2 February 2007: You need some security here too. Why should you up sticks to live with him in a rented place when you have no security? Tell him you need some security and ask him to rethink the plan and come up with a compromise.
He's looking after his kids... (read in full...)
Do I confront him, or just move on?
Q. kk this is a very long versoin of my other question but it has more detail and might come up with more advice Okay me and my boyfriend started dating in October of 06. I thought I had no chance with him because first time he came over he was...
A. 2 February 2007: Hi,
You are both still very young and have a lot of living and loving to do. You said it was the best 4 months of your life. Hey, there are lots of other boys out there who can make you feel that way and more! He cheated on you and he lied to ... (read in full...)
Guys make me itch. Is this normal?
Q. this might sound completely ridiculous....but is it possible to get hives (itchiness) because you cant stop thinking about a guy? i know he likes me, but im very weird about relationship stuff, to be honest. it all freaks me out...im 21 and never ...
A. 2 February 2007: Your mom's right. I too think it's just nerves. The more you think about the guy the more itchy you think you feel, your telling yourself it's because you're thinking of the guy so you automatically scratch more, thinking of the itch, you think ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend really love me? What do think?
Q. on our way home suddenly i kept silent and just don't want to speak with my boyfriend,he keeps on asking me what's wrong but i stayed silent with no reasons at all but I just don't want to speak with him. He respected my silence with no further ...
A. 2 February 2007: Your boyfriend obviously thought something was up with you when you were quiet in the car on the way home. He asked you what was the matter and you REMAINED silent. He asked you a question, common courtesy should have made you answer him, at least ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for women to feel absolutely nothing during intercourse, or is there something wrong with me?
Q. Hi, I know most women don't orgasm through intercourse alone but is it normal not to feel anything at all??? When I am with someone, I get really turned on by foreplay and everything but as soon as he enters me and we start having sex, I don't fee...
A. 2 February 2007: Some women are very sensitive when they have penetrative sex, others, like yourself don't feel much and need clitoral stimulation as well. I would suggest you try a clitoral stimulator that he can wear in the form of a ring that goes around the ... (read in full...)
He said he loved me and then I discovered the text messages on his phone! What should I do now?
Q. Hello to all.. I have a problem at the moment which is literally breaking my heart and my world. Ok.. the short version coz im sure you dont have all day! I broke up with my ex b/f (after 4yrs) Nov last year but we didnt spend any time apart, k...
A. 2 February 2007: Hi Lost Soul,
You should definitely move on love. He likes you, but not enough to want to settle down with you, he's sharing himself with all these other women and god only knows what he's telling them. The fact that you said the text make the... (read in full...)
Re: sex She said that girls are the only ones who give, to a man it means nothing too him. Advice?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for over a year and we both love each other and are committed. However I find her a bit one sided most of the time and today she said that when we had sex, she gave me somthing and I didn't give her anything. ...
A. 2 February 2007: Sounds to me that she's saying she gives her all to you, in other words she gave you more love and attention than you give her. She feels she puts more into love making than you do. You need to ask her to be more specific here and tell you exactly ... (read in full...)
It irriates me that my gf made abig deal of not knowing when my driving test was! Any advice?
Q. My girlfriend got offended because I didn't tell her when my driving test was and she nosed around my house until she found it, which was on my mums private notice board. I was hoping too not tell anyone about it apart from mum but she found out the ...
A. 2 February 2007: It was very rude of your girlfriend to nose around the way she did, she should have more respect for you and your home. If you had wanted to tell her you would have. Be very careful about telling her anything else in the future, she was bang out of ... (read in full...)
My self-esteem issues make me think I'm not good enough for him. Any advice?
Q. Hi, Lately I've been dealing with some self esteem issues. Here's the thing...I'm in love with a really great guy, and apparently he's crazy enough to love me back and want to be with me. I just don't feel good enough for him. I mean he's an a...
A. 2 February 2007: You are a very wonderful and unique person and that's why your boyfriend is with you. YOU just need to believe that. Forget about your past and the abuse that happened, don't feel guilty about it. These guys in the past were just prats and were ... (read in full...)
Two guys like my gf and I don't likethem talking to her! How do I controlmy anger over this?
Q. hi, heres my problems ive been going out with my girlfriend a month and a bit. shes older, an we both go school. a guy in her year likes her, and says and does stuff to her such as stroking her hair or tickling her, he says he thinks boyfrien...
A. 2 February 2007: I would ignore them love. She might be trying to make you jealous telling you these things so I would rise above it and not read too much into it. Tell her they sound really immature jerks then change the subject.
Eve... (read in full...)
We broke up-so how do I stop texting him and staring at my phone?
Q. My partner of 2 years has just ended our relationship due to us arguing, he says he still loves me and always will but has made the right decision, how do I start again, why do I feel so bad and how do I stop myself from texting him or staring at my ...
A. 2 February 2007: It's always hard when you break up with someone, especially when it's someone you've been with for a some time. The best way NOT to text him is to put your phone in a drawer but of course you won't do that will you... in case HE texts you back.
... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about his porn viewing? We're getting married next year...
Q. My partner looks at porn every day.When I confronted him about it, he showed no emotion at all and just replied;it doesn't mean anything. Its you I want to be with. I'm pretty relaxed about things but feel odd about him spending so much time lookin...
A. 2 February 2007: In answer to moomoomoo, I am definitely not an activist in a feminist group lmao. It's one thing to look at porn, we've all done it but this girl's partner looks at it EVERY DAY! She said when she confronted him about it he showed NO EMOTION. ... (read in full...)
Foolishly told her a lie at the start of our relationship, now it has been exposed how do I regain her trust in me?
Q. I met a woman for whom I am totally amazed with, and found myself falling for. The problem is that early on in the relationship, I lied to her. I had been living with the mother of my daughter for awhile, even tho we werent together, shared a house ...
A. 2 February 2007: I would continue to be her friend and let that friendship grow. The trust will come back in time but it's got to be earned. No more lies to her in the meantime and tell her that. Let her know you were apprehensive about telling her in case it put ... (read in full...)
My friends are all having sex and I've never even been kissed!
Q. I am 15 and i have never kissed a boy before. All my friends are now having sex and i have never even kissed one. They always tease me and i dont like being round them when they are talking about things like that. Do you have any suggestions about ...
A. 2 February 2007: Don't believe everything you hear. They might just be making up stories. They've probably watched 'American Pie' too many times and their imagination's running away with them. Next time they ask you about you, brush it off as if it's boring. ... (read in full...)
She has a bf she hates, says she loves me but won't end with him! Any advice?
Q. I've got a dilemma, this girl I know who has a b.f told me that she thinks shes falling in love with me, i said to her you think? And she said I've fallen in love with you...this was on the phone, i was with her that night before we spoke on the ...
A. 2 February 2007: I think this girl is playing you love. She says over the phone she thinks she's falling in love with you yet she can't look you in the eyes? Hmmmmm sounds a bit fishy to me. She wouldn't be able to HELP looking into your eyes if she was truly in ... (read in full...)
I kissed him and felt nothing! Do I like this guy with the good looks and the amazing smile?
Q. do i like him? he's got a smile that would make people melt. the most amazing good looks. but how do i know if i fancy him? i did go out with him, but i had doubts and ended it. he's still interested, but am i? i dont think we'd be friend...
A. 2 February 2007: You're flattered that he likes you but that's as far as it goes. The chemistry just aint there with you honey. If you DID fancy him you would have had butterflies at least, when you kissed him. Move on!
Eve... (read in full...)
Does kissing another guy mean I don't love my bf?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend a year and a half, we are suited in every way, want the same things out of life, never argue and always have fun together. We moved in together for the first time 4 months ago, and set up our own business. It has been ...
A. 2 February 2007: People do a lot of things they shouldn't when they're drunk and that was your problem. You were honest with your boyfriend and owned up about it but it wasn't such a big deal. If you were sober do you think you'd have done the same?
Put it behin... (read in full...)
Was he just awkward around me or does he really not like me? Any advice?
Q. Yesterday the guy I fancied found out some how, that I fancied him. He's told some people he would go out with me and everyone says he fancies me. But that was yesterday ... today he was all off with me. Maybe it was just awkward, or he's making a ...
A. 2 February 2007: He knows you like him so if he wants to ask you out he will. If he doesn't, then I'd move on and look for someone else. His loss!
Eve... (read in full...)
He's married and I love him. But I don't want to be a homewrecker! What should I do?
Q. I'm in love with a married man, he has a one year old son. He loves me too and he told me so. I don't want to break another woman's home, but, i really love him, what should I do?...
A. 2 February 2007: What do you do? YOU GET OVER HIM AND MOVE ON to someone who IS available. Put yourself in his wife's place. How would YOU feel if you were married and had a small child and you heard someone else wanted your husband, the man you loved and had a ... (read in full...)
I ask her out and she ignores me! What can I do?
Q. please help i realy like this girl and i keep asking her out to her face but she ignores me she thinks im joking around and ignores me by doing this how do i tell her my true feelings despite what other people. Thanks L.knighton...
A. 2 February 2007: You asked her face to face, she laughed at you... what does that tell you? Come on think about it!! In 3 words... SHE'S NOT INTERESTED!!!! Have some pride in yourself and move on, she's probably not worth of you attention in the first place. ... (read in full...)
My husband says he can't see himself as a father!
Q. Hi, what do you do when your husband has stated that he can't see himself as a father. Before we were married - we even spoke about baby names whenever we decided to have children. I would love to have children someday, not ready at the moment, ...
A. 2 February 2007: Situations change with time. You said you and your husband spoke about kids and kids names before you were married and now he says he can't see him being a father. Possibly in another couple of years his ideals will change again. He was quite ... (read in full...)
We lost a baby and I want another one desperately.My bf says no! What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and i, got pregnant last year, but we lost it, my boyfriend now says he is not ready to try again but i am desperate to have a baby and jus feel lost and empty without being pregnant or having a baby! Please help me i dont no what to do ...
A. 2 February 2007: I'm sorry to hear you lost your baby. It must have been awful for you and your boyfriend. You are very young though (16-17) and have plenty of time ahead of you before you think of trying for another baby.
I suggest you go to see a grief Co... (read in full...)
Can I ever find a man who will just love me straight away, without having to leave and then...deciding to come back?
Q. Dear Cupids I have been very unfortunate with relationships. I ve never had a longterm affair with a guy. The longest would be between three weeks and six months. My ex boyfriends are either were not ready for commitment at the time we were tog...
A. 1 February 2007: If your past relationships didn't work out then there was a reason for that. I wouldn't go back, especially if they hurt you. You're right to move on. Be choosy when picking a partner and think of things you're looking for in the ideal mate. Be ... (read in full...)
He''s older and in a relationship...how do I know if her really likes me?
Q. How do you know if older guy likes you? K im 21 and hes 31......Hes a manager at my work in a diff department so hes not my manager. I dont know if he likes me like that cuz he cant really show he has interest in me since we both work togethe...
A. 1 February 2007: I think he's leading you a merry dance. He's feeding you all this bullshit about him and her not getting along and you're falling for it hook, line and sinker. Give it another few days and he'll be doing things to you in that cooler telling you ... (read in full...)
He is a brilliant man but does he have a self-dutruct button or something? I have lost all confidence in his stability and I am scared witless.
Q. My boyfriend is under huge pressure and so am I. He is going through an awful divorce which is causing him to lose contact with his kids. He is giving up all his assets. He persuaded me to buy a house with him. My little boy and I have been ...
A. 1 February 2007: I think seeing his divorce papers come through has hit him smack on the face and reality has set in that he IS now divorced. The fact that he's not going to see his kids for a long while will be getting to him too, can you imagine how YOU would be ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about his porn viewing? We're getting married next year...
Q. My partner looks at porn every day.When I confronted him about it, he showed no emotion at all and just replied;it doesn't mean anything. Its you I want to be with. I'm pretty relaxed about things but feel odd about him spending so much time lookin...
A. 1 February 2007: It sounds to me as if your partner is addicted to porn if he looks at it every day and THAT is disrespectful to you.
Pornography in its many different forms is an artificial or “outside” element people use to create sexual excitement. In many way... (read in full...)
We seemed pretty close but since he's come back he's been really cold to me. It's hurting me inside. What's going on with him?
Q. i'm seeing this guy quite sometime right now,actually he's my classmate..we watched movies,talk several hours on the phone,hang-out with his friends and we even kissed..what i can't understand is that,for 2 days that he has been absent,the moment he ...
A. 1 February 2007: Was this kiss recent? It sounds to me like he's took cold feet and isn't ready to move on and be in a relationship. He's just not mature enough yet. I would take things very slowly with him and go back to just being friends again.
He's obviousl... (read in full...)
My husband of 25 years slept w/ a prostitute and got an STD! He doesn't want to leave me and our daughter, but I can't face staying w/ him!
Q. i have been married for 25 years, have a 5 year old daughter. my husband has come home with a sexual disease. he admitted he has been with a prostitute. i told him to leave and he said he was sorry and that he loved us both and did't want to go. i...
A. 1 February 2007: What should you do? STICK BY YOUR GUNS that's what you do love. There is no excuse for what he did. You have said you haven't loved him for years so the marriage was over (on your part) long before this happened, this is just the icing on the cake ... (read in full...)
I get emotional about small things and fear being taken advantage of - how can I stop this behavior?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 25 years old guy and am planning to settle down. It seems i get emotional about small things and fear that i would be taken advantage of by people because of this. One big threat i have is that of getting forced to do something ...
A. 1 February 2007: Hi Prash,
Thank you for writing in. You say you are planning to settle down, I take it this is with your girlfriend? Do YOU want to settle down or is she pushing you into it?
You need to listen for alarm bells going off in your head, when ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but I think he really likes me. I caught him looking up my skirt! But we're just friends though so what's he up to?
Q. I'm a bit confused. I have a male friend who has a girlfriend - a pretty serious relationship - but recently he's been quite flirty with me. He stares at me when he thinks I'm not looking and the other day, dropped behind me on the stairs to perv ...
A. 1 February 2007: He likes you as a friend and someone to talk to but he HAS a girlfriend. He likes to flirt but then what guy doesn't, he may even be leading you on but rise above it. Don't get involved with him when he's with someone else, you'll only come off as ... (read in full...)
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