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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My bf havent gave me a gift on holiday but i did give him a belt as my present for him, are guys like that? My bf just dont want to give me anything.i knew he had money to buy one,but does it shows the he dont love me or dont want me to be happy? On this coming Valentines day il just wait and see if he will give me something as a present and if still he will not bother to give one is it enough reason for me to break up with him coz for me it seems that he didnt value my happiness??please help
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female
reader, Manya  +, writes (5 February 2007):
I agree with both answers given so far, opposing as they seem! I know someone who gave up on a relationship precisely because of Valentine neglect, although it was worse: no card , gift or dinner invitation AND no phone call -- finally the obvious became clear to her -- he didn't care any more! She found herself thinking of sending a Valentine to herself.
BUT if it's just about a present -- well, traditionally Valentine's Day is not very materialistic, it's more about gestures. if he doesn't buy you a gift, would you be that unhappy if he were still showering you with love? Some men are all about the gift, but they may not really love you!
Best wishes for Valentine's Day, and I hope this helps!
A
male
reader, Kurt +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Some girls have pointed out holidays and even gave suggested gift lists. This did make it easier on me to know what my GF's expectations are. It isn't always easy to pick up on 'girl' clues. With my true love, I always want to shower her in gifts and a holiday is a great excuse.
If you straight out tell him and give suggested gifts and he still doesn't get anything he doesn't care about you enough to take the time.
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A
female
reader, JulietteElise +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Are you sure he has the money? And did he do nothing at all, like perhaps take you out to eat or the movies, etc, paying for it all? And does his family give gifts to eachother? Is he just really bad at remembering dates/time? ...also.... how long have you two been going out? If it hasn't been long at all (under a year) then he may have been confused on weither to give gifts or not....
Before you do anything drastic, why don't you just talk with him? Why don't you tell him you felt sad that he seemed to have forgotten to give you a christmass prestent (do this calmly, or he will feel attacked and thus be deffensive, etc)... let him talk and explain. Alos... let him know WHAT you want for valentines day.... i know us women hate telling guys what we want because then if we get it it dosunt seem real cuz "it wasn;t really from him, it was jsut because i told him" but the truth is, most guys are tottaly clueless and have to be told things directly. i remember my friend being tottaly pissed off at her b/f because she went with him to a ball game and he didnt hold her hand the whole time.... and i asked her why didnt she hold HIS hand or tell him what she wanted, and she said "he should know!!!" but really.... she seemed very crazy and irrotional, despite the fact that i know how it feels to be in that position... theres nothing wrong with telling/asking the guy or just doing it yourself instead of being pissed off at them when they dont even know they did anything wrong!!
i know this is a bit diffrent since holidays are seen as a gift giveing time, but like i said, if you guys haven't been dateing long, he did other nice things for you (resturant, movies, etc) and paid (though this may seem "normal" and thus why it was taken for granted), and so forth, he may not of realized a "gift" was required. please remember though, gifts are extremly materalistc and not required, nor do they ever show ones love for anouther. I know i have been a bit guilty at times, esspically inregard to sappy things (begging them to write me or tell me nice things), but please let him know! I'm sure he values your happiness, so please dont think gifts are the only way to show apprecation. let him know your needs and wants... esspically in regard to valintines day.
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A
female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (5 February 2007):
 If he has the means to buy you a gift, take you out somewhere, or cook you dinner and he doesn't.....then, yes I say dump him. Life is too short not to be given a little extra attention. If he doesn't value your feelings now, it will only get worse as time goes on........
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Being in a relationship and loving someone isn't all about what you GET off them materially, it's about a bond that's so strong that it's impossible to break. You don't say how long you've been going out together but I'm sure, with time then he will buy you a gift. Some men are like that and shower their partner with gifts, others don't think twice about it, it doesn't mean they love you any less.
Maybe hint to him that valentine's day is coming up soon and ask him if there's anything in particular he'd like as a gift. That way he'll be thinking "heck, I'd better think of getting her something too!"
Eve
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