A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend has been feeling down for about a week and a half. I try to talk to her about it but she doesn't want to talk. She's fine around my friends and sometimes pulls out of the mood and is happy for a little bit when no one is around. I am trying to give some space to let her figure it out, and I told her that whenever she wants to talk about it I am here for her. Am I doing the right thing? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Women are very funny creatures. When something is bothering them the like to be "drawn out." If you ask a woman (say your partner for example) are you okay? She'll immediately say YES. What she REALLY means is "no I'm not okay but if you're really interested then ask me more questions." If you say to her "do you want to talk about it?" she might say "no thanks." What she REALLY means is "of course I do silly, just ask me more questions so I can open up some more." Women are emotional and talking about their problems helps them heal. That's why they keep on at their partners if they think they're quiet and something's up. They think if he talks about it then it will help.
Men on the otherhand are very different. If the man is quiet and the woman comes up to him and says "Are you okay honey, do you you're very quiet do you want to talk about it?" and you say "no thanks" then you usally mean no thanks, I'm fine and will come to a solution on my own. Only when you can't find a solution will you ask her for her solicited advice. Am I right?
I choose a quiet moment and go up to her again and tell her you've noticed she's been very down for the past couple of weeks and does she want to talk about it. If she says no then ask her another question. "I know there's something bothering you... is it me? Have I done something to upset you?" Wait for her response. Keep drawing her out like this and she will eventually blurt it all out to you.
It may be that she's not happy with the relationship any more and doesn't know how to tell you and prefers to be quiet rather than hurt your feelings so do be prepared for that.
Good luck
Eve
A
female
reader, Lemonpixie +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Well make sure that she knows you care for her, and that you will be there (which it looks as though you've done) and when shes ready hopefully she'll come to you and get out of her mood... as CD206 said TOP MARKS on the bf meter!
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (5 February 2007):
 I think you are doing the right thing, giving here space and time to let her sort herself out. She knows you are there for her if she needs you.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Absolutely! She knows you're there for her and that you care enough about her to give her the space she needs. Top marks for boyfriend skills!
CD
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