A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for close to a year now, and she's been a virgin the whole time. She wants me to be her first, and I am looking to make it as enjoyable or at least pleasant as I can. Any advice from a woman's perspective on how to go about this would be very much appreciated? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 15 and worried  +, writes (24 August 2007):
3 words... LUBRICANT AND FOREPLAY
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (24 August 2007):
 That fact that you have waited a year together before going ahead has proved to her that you are someone that she can trust, so she will probably be as relaxed as she could possibly be. I was not in any pain losing my virginity, but everyone is different, but you shouldn't worry too much about that. It would be a nice surprise if you had a really romantic room set up. Roses, champange, candle light, music - That would be a lovely way to remember her first time! It's a good idea to have some lubricant on hand, in case she is nervous. I'd plan on spending the whole night so that there is no rush and you can go as slowly as she wants. Use lots of warm, gentle words and try to put her at her ease. Encourage her to tell you how she feels and whats good for her. Let her lead the way. There may come a point where you have to take the lead, so when you do, be gentle, and go at a pace that she is comfortable with. Praise her and her body. Tell her she's beautiful. Tell her you love her and whisper her name. The more that you encourage her to get comfortable with pillow talk, the better your sex life will become. Cuddle and hold her afterwards, and try not to fall asleep on her! There will be plenty of future moments when you can roll over and go to sleep - This Is Not One Of Them! Trust me, she wants to bask in the afterglow! Stay awake with her until she is calm enough to sleep in your arms. Tell her she is beautiful. You can never say that often enough to a woman.
I think she would be very happy if that was the beginning of her sex life.
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A
male
reader, joe123  +, writes (24 August 2007):
be so romantic and let it happen very slow.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): Be gentle and kind. She'll be very nervous as it's her first time and the last thing she'll need afterwards is you telling her that she's the worst girl you have ever slept with, that would ruin her confidence totally. I mean i'm sure that you remember your first time and how you felt. Don't expect her to be brilliant and help her when she needs it without moaning.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): As it is her first time she will be very nervous, so make her feel comfortable and don't be too rough, just take it nice and gentle and you won't go far wrong xx
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A
female
reader, auntyluuurve  +, writes (24 August 2007):
 ok, good job you asked because my first time was horrific! the main thing is, it really frickin hurts. unless youve been doing LOADS of other stuff with her this entire time uve been together. so if you havent, u need to start using ur hands and ur tongue to the extreme so make her as.... susceptible to pleasure as possible. then, when it comes to the day when ur gonna do it for the first time, spend about an hour AT LEAST on foreplay and then get to it! but be really gentle and dont force coz honestly its the most painful thing i ever experienced. i used to have to lay there with my hands covering my eyes and squeezing really tight onto the side of the bed and listening to music with earphones to try and detach myself from the situation so i could get used to it, but all of that could have been avoided had i only done all of the above. same applies if u wanna do anal.
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A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp +, writes (24 August 2007):
 Okay well here goes. There are different ways you could approach this. You could make the place you are going to do it as serene and cosy as possible. Maybe with some nice candles and some nice sheets and comfy cushions. Massage oils and creams would be a nice way to make her relax so when it comes to the act she's not as nervous. Make sure you have some lubricant in case she gets a bit "dry" down there which is likely to happen if she is nervous. Have a towel laid down on wherever you are going to have sex because she may bleed and you don't want to spoil those nice sheets do you?
Be gentle with her. Stroke her face and hair and tell her how much you love her before you make your move so she knows exactly how you feel and why you want to make love to her. This will make her feel good.
When it comes to the actual act, take it very slowly. It might be painful for her but it might not. If you find it difficult getting inside try to widen her up before hand with your fingers. This might also make her less nervous when it comes to putting your penis inside her. When you're good to go and you're inside take it slowly. Don't rush it and don't thrust too hard. Ask her if she's okay and if there's any pain and if there is take it real easy and kiss her.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): Make sure that there is plenty of foreplay. Dont rush things. Let her body become ready and naturally lubricated before insertion of the penis. This will help make it less painful
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