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Is it disrespectful to give a gift to someone who's involved with another?

Tagged as: Big Questions, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 September 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2007)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

Is buying a gift or giving something to a ex or a person involved a sign of disrespect to the lover of the person you have given the gift to?

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (2 September 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntkenny is right. If the is not suggestive remarks involed with the gift than its complelty OK. If it wasnt Ok Xmas would be very akward

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (2 September 2007):

birdynumnums agony auntIt depends on what the intention behind the gift is and what it is. If it's a CD of "Your" song, of course it's wrong. If it's boxer shorts, it's wrong. If it refers to something significant that you and he shared together, it's wrong. Of course, you already know all of this!!!

Keep it NOT personal. I think that it is fine to send a cheerful bouquet of flowers on a particularly significant birthday, like his 35th or 50th, or a bottle of wine (not a familiar one), is fine. BUT, it would be a bit questionable to observe every single birthhday of his if you are no longer together. Personal items, such as clothing, are purchased by the current mate. If it's a joke t-shirt (Ha-Ha-You're 50!) that you bring to a party that you have been invited to, it's probably okay.

I would avoid making a practice of gift giving to an ex unless there is some significant event that everyone else is also invited to. Giving a gift will probably always be viewed with some suspicion by the current significant-other by ANY other female who is not a relative. You would probably feel the same way if it had happened to him from his ex during your relationship.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (2 September 2007):

kenny agony auntI don't think it is disrespectful, as long as there are no suggestive remarks involved. There are involved girls where i work and i sometimes give them gifts like on birthdays and Christmas.

k

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