A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Last month I saw a guy that was great, we got intimate, but didn't have sex, we kissed and he did oral on me, of which I was fine with.I didn't do anything to him.He is very adamant about hygiene, and keeping clean, and from what he told me, he is very cautious with everything he does, eg, with previous partners.. they hadn't been with anyone before. and that his health status is 100%His oral hygiene was really good, teeth and gums looked good, and he did not have any sores on his lips, or mouth, his lips were very smooth and soft, and he hasn't been in any relationship for about 3months.I'm being paranoid,Is there any way that I could be at risk of getting anything from someone that is hygienic, and clean, and I at risk of getting herpes, or something?Please help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): Hi guys, thank you so much for all your advice, one thing that I know is that I am over thinking thinks way over, but just one last thing, do you recon that there are high risks from kissing or receiving oral sex, especially if the person that you were with says they are fine?Is there any way to catch hiv through passionate kissing or receiving oral sex?I've read that the chances are far less, and unlikely, and that one of the definate way to get something is through unprotected sex, but can it be transmitted thru kissing or a receing a bj?
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (26 August 2007):
 There must be a clinic in your area run by the local government or health department you can visit. That's why they're there. Go to one of those. By the way, you probably are over thinking the problem. The main thing here is the difference between possibility and probability in catching a disease. Of course there is a possibility but is it probable. Your odds increase the more often you do it. Unfortunately the possibility is there if you have sex just once. Your brain is in overdrive. Go get checked. Also, I'm no doctor but I believe it takes about 3 months for a body to develop antibodies that show up on the HIV test. Having one at this point might not be of any use. Talk to a professional.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
As everyone else has noted, a lot of germs and viruses aren't visible to the eye. We can only hope that this man was honest with you when he said he was 100% clean. Not to mention, herpes is not always a visible disease - and you can catch it without seeing it.
I agree with birdynumnums, in that you should definitely get a new gynecologist without relation to your family. Going to the gyno is awkward enough, but to have it be a family friend?!? My goodness! Find a gynecologist that you can be honest with and not feel judged by or "watched" by. It's none of your family's business what you do anymore. You're old enough to make your own choices and there's nothing wrong with experimenting.
Anyhow sweetness, I hope you're healthy and happy!
Good luck!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (25 August 2007):
 You should get a new, independant doctor. It's kind of a conflict of interest to go to a doctor that you know as a relative or friend. A friend of mine had the same situation, and it turned out the family friend/doctor was incompetant. He ignored her extreme period pain, she had ovarian cancer and now she is infertile. She never questioned his competance because he was a friend of her Mom. Ask around and get a good doctor of your own. Ask him to run a full blood panel on any sexually transmitted diseases. You should always ask about your partners sexual history and when his last tests were, you could still try to ask him. Always use barrier protection for every sex act that transfers fluids. Remember to be responsible with any information that you get, if you do have a disease you should tell any partners that you have been with. You are probably fine, but get going on finding yourself a Doctor! Best of luck with everything.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): Sorry, if I do go to my gp, can I get a regular blood test and hiv test and will it show anything else? How else can these things be detected? Will that be enough to get my mind to relax?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): Thanks for your responses, but if he didn't have any visible sores there isn't such a risk of catching something like herpes is there?I've become extremely paranoid about this and the problem is that I would like to get myself checked out, but our family gp is a very good friend of my family and he'll question why I want this done when my family and my folks, my family are very strict and against certain things, and I experimented, but now I'm panicking.What would you advise me to do?I think I am over thinking this, but I'm scraed if this little thing that I did might make me suffer.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (25 August 2007):
You can't see a virus or germ. There is always a chance of catching something from someone. When was the last time you caught a cold? Who did you get it from and do you remember when they gave it to you? Of course not. Often when we do things we know are risky, our conscious kicks in after the fact to shake us up a little. It's a mechanism to keep us in check. People often appear to be healthy and are in fact..sick.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (25 August 2007):
Viruses, bacteria and germs are all not visible to the naked eye. It's really important to use barrier protection for every sex act, even if the person that you are with swears that they are clean or have been checked recently. You should go and get yourself tested. You probably won't stop worrying until you do. You are probably fine! Take Care!
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