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female
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anonymous
writes:Is there anyone who has been in a successful long-term relationship and is still very much in love? I've been visiting this website long enough to see that it seems like it's almost hopeless for men and women to stay together over the long haul. People are always falling in love, falling out of love, getting bored, having affairs, breaking up homes, and families. I'm starting to lose faith in love and in relationships in general and I'd really like to hear some happy stories for a change. Are there any out there? Give me something to believe in!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou have all given me hope!! I have wondered how people keep things alive with their mates and how to keep the spark going year after year. I divorced my husband after 25 years and have wondered how couples stay connected. We grew apart, no spark, no attraction and then the love just died. But I am now seeing a new man for 2 years and feel like I'm just now understanding what love really is (I'm older and wiser now and know who I am). So I really do want this to last and so does he. Thanks so much for your responses. It was encouraging!! And a special thanks for birdynumnums, your advise was great! xoxox
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (14 August 2007):
 Hi
You have to remember that this is the nature of this site, everyone is here to ask for help!
You are simply not seeing the couples that don't need our advice. Most people who are in long term relationships may not need to ask for help ALL the time. They are probably used to dealing with any problems that come up because they know their partners!
I have been married for 30 years and been with him for 34, so we kind of have gotten into a rhythm about how to handle any of our problems by this point in our lives. Don't get me wrong, we can drive each other crazy at times too, but I wouldn't change a thing (and I ALSO have asked for readers advice when I hit a tough problem). He gets very annoyed because I stare at him, but I still adore him after all this time! At times I still feel that I am the luckiest woman in the world! We have certainly had our ups and downs, but I can honestly say that there is nobody that I would rather spend time with. I look forward to seeing him everyday, and I still miss him like crazy when he travels (so I sleep on his side of the bed!). We have been fortunate to have always had a great sex life and I think that if you can remain close physically, it does help you get through a rough patch or two. We have lived in four different countries, have raised two children and have lost two parents. We have survived our house contents being destroyed during a move, a couple of car accidents and a couple of operations! We think that we are very fortunate, because we still have each other! We are having a great life!
As far as other couples falling in and out of love, being unfaithful, and breaking up families over it - I have always loved what my husband said to me with regards to another couple who had just dumped their respective spouses after having an affair at his workplace - "Wow, An entire relationship built on human weakness, they must be so proud!". I don't think that either of us are naive enough to believe that once you get married and you automatically become deaf, dumb and blind to other people that you think are attractive. When you have made a choice in life to honour and keep yourself for that one person, you set boundries for your own behaviour because you want to keep that vow.
Eyeswideopen really made me laugh. I have to say that I was sad to see my children leave home as well, but getting back to being just a couple again is great! My Boyfriends Back! Yay!
I have just opened up a fortune cookie (dinner for one, he's traveling again), SO, I will share its cheesy message with You. "Your happiness is before you, not behind you. Cherish it."
I honestly believe that this fortune will be coming true for me and I hope that it comes true for you as well!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 August 2007):
 I've been happily married to my husband for 32 years. We had a few fights and disagreements over the years, mostly about the kids or money, but now that all the birds have flown the nest we have rediscovered ourselves and are having a ball. It's almost like being newlyweds. We just have to remember to wear PJ's when the grandkids visit....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): I am feeling the same way as you. But the reason being is because this is a problem relationship website, and me being a stay at home mom, I am on here a lot. I believe there are some people who are compatible enough and have similar life goals and etc. that can make it possible for them to stay together forever. This is rare though because people are always changing and there's always the temptation of cheating. I also wonder the same thing as you because I have been in 4 long term relationships and in every one of those I thought that person was the one. Now I realize that I almost hate them all. So it is pretty discouraging to me, I feel like why should I even bother? But now that I have kids I feel like I owe it to them to try my best and I am doing that. I would also love to hear happy stories of couples in love who made it through the long haul.
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female
reader, barbie... +, writes (13 August 2007):
hi well I have been in a relationship for a long time and I love him we have been datting for more than 3 years now and the sparks are still there so I think there is hope for u don't lose faith hell come soon enough
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (13 August 2007):
 What you need to apprieciate, is that this is primarily a relationship problem site, so most of the things on here are going to be about these problems.
Me and my husband, ok we split for a while due to depression and other reasons, but we have be together thirteen years now and we are very much in love and very happy and come to think of it most of my family are like that also and i have quite a big family aswell.
Don't get disheartened by all of the problems you read on here, i bet if you think about you too know people that have been together a long time and are still happy.
Take care.xx.
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