A
female
age
36-40,
*achakaRoni
writes:Ever since I have come back from being away for 2 months, although I knew things would have changed I didnt expect to feel like this. I feel like Im a different person and not many people seem to understand that I am different now.I am more confident since Ive been back and some of my friends haven't accepted this or liked that I stand up for myself and well the friendships are either over or cracked. which has upset me a bit because I thought they shud understand me. but they are obviously too self-involved in their own lives as they were when I was away.Another thing is the guy I left behind, I think he thought I was going to be a pushover when I got back and to prove I wasnt, when I saw him the first time I got back I walked out on him. I saw him again after that but since then, he seems different somehow- distant with me. what do you think this means?I miss him even though I speak to him.any advice would be greatfully received.xxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Hi,
I am probably three times your age, but I have lived many different lives and had many different jobs in many different countries. The hardest thing in life is to be able to accept change and roll with the punches. It is the only thing in life that remains constant IS change. The one thing that surprised me after returning home to my family was that nobody was interested in hearing about my travels, they were more interested in discussing what was familiar to them (and what we had in common, I suppose). When I returned to my home town, they all seemed to view me with curiousity and all expressed the opinion - "When are you moving back?" - as if it were the only option. I think most people view life through there own eyes and if they have not lived in other places, then "Home" is always going to be only in one place. "Home" for myself and my children is in a few other places as well now. I don't think that they regret moving, but in some ways, our hearts will always miss some of our other homes - ALL of them!!! In the end, you can't change anyone but yourself. You have to live your own life. Friendships will come and go throughout your life, for different reasons, through different phases - like childhood, university, marriage, career and motherhood. Some friendships last forever, and these are few and far between. Those friendships need time and effort - because they are worth keeping. Many, many more friendships come and go like the seasons. They are all worth the effort! In the end, Live the life that your heart desires, you only get this one!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): WHY don't you enlighten us as to where you've been for the last 2 months? And what you did while away? Why did you change? your quiestion is a little too vague to give advice on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): your boyfriend may be kind of upset that you walked out on him.
i disagree with the other poster.
misery loves company. when someone changes psychologically, for the better, it's a threat to people around them, even those who love you. they're used to seeing you a certain way and having you play a certain role. especially if you were a pushover before and not being one now - that will definitely threaten people if you're no longer going to help them feel superior or on a power trip. they were used to that dynamic. so continue to stay strong and not be the pushover that everyone has always expected you to be and want to be. maybe it's time to make some new friends since you're on a different level from them now - the boyfriend too, if he can't accept you being a psychologically healthier person. good luck on your quest to become stronger every day and go for everything you want in life and take care of the most important person in your life - you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): Think about it. All these people have got the problem ? and not you ? seems a bit strange!!!Just make sure your not being over confident or cocky ect or thinking your something your notcus u been awayIts odd that its several people or more ?! it cant be all these people
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