A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I work with a gay man and we both get on really well.Lately he has been flirting with me,holding eye contact for longer than normal,touching my arm, looking at my mouth when i speak and mirroring my posture-he doesn't do this with anyone else.He seems to do everything he can to be near me.He also made a point of telling me about a celeb who was gay but had had relationships with women. Does he fancy me? Is he hinting or am i way off the mark?? HELP
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer. I too have been around alot of gay men, my best friend of five years is a gay man so in a way i am gauging his behaviour against my friends. They both behave totally differently with me.
He was also married at one stage and i wonder if maybe he is bi sexual?
Anyway, thanks again.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (18 August 2007):
 I think he is clearly gay and you should not fall into the trap of wishing that he were straight. Gay men love women, but not because they want to sleep with them. They absolutely and sincerely love women. They admire and want to be around brilliant, strong women. I have spent my life in art courses, art departments and art galleries, so I have been around a LOT of gay men, and they are wonderful. They can be very tactile and demonstrative, so the eye contact and the mirroring most likely mean he thinks you are a wonderful sexy woman and he admires you. He may even have a friendly crush on you, but not because he will ever be straight, because he likes you. I'm not sure that BBC show about Gay-Straight couple - has done much good to clarify gay men and their sexuality. Some recent studies that I have read have shown that while women can be bi-sexual, men seem to be either gay OR straight. That might be a good topic to bring up with him if you need him to clarify your situation. AND I know that most of my friends love it when you come right out ask ask really challenging questions, so ask him directly if he thinks he would ever consider being exclusively hetrosexual. I really think that you would be inviting a lot of heartache into your life and that he would have a slip or two even if he wished that it was a possibility. This is only my opinion based on my experience. I am not a gay man, so I honestly can't speak for one, hopefully we will hear from some of our writers!
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