A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18, off to college in September, was enjoying a last carefree summer. Last Friday evening my boyfriend dropped me off at home around 10:00 after a date. He works nightshifts at a 24 hour supermarket. My parents were out for the evening and I walked in on a couple, man and woman, burglarizing our house. They grabbed me before I could react, demanded money and atm card, said they wouldn't hurt me if I cooperated - which I did - insisted I be bound. That sent an instant wave of depression through me replacing the fear I was experiencing. Still, I'm athletic, in good shape, figured I could break loose in a few minutes but they tied me up very tightly and left me gagged and hogtied on the floor. I spent about 40 minutes yanking and squirming but could not free myself so I had to lie there until my parents came home around 3:00. To my embarrassment they arrived with three neighbor couples who stood gaping while my Dad struggled to untie me. For some reason the combination of seeing all those people and being all tied up in such an utterly helpless position mortified me. Almost a week has passed and I stay in my room not wanting to see anyone. My parents think I'm still very frightened. I don't want to tell them how embarrassed I feel about being bound and gagged. How do I get myself out of this funk? I'll be starting a new life in a few weeks and I want to be happy and most of all feel good about myself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): Hi honey, I know how you feel. Last winter my mom and I were held hostage overnight and kept bound and gagged most of the time. He'd untie one of us a couple of times to go to the bathroom but then we'd be tied up again. When he finally left we were so tightly bound, hands and feet, we had to wait several hours until my bud stopped by to drive me to school. Though it was a relief to be freed I was horrified to have him see me like that. The combination of feeling scared and helpless was overwhelming but at least we weren't hurt. I found that talking about it with my friends and getting their support made it gradually less painful. Like you I felt embarrassed about being all tied up but I'm damn proud to have survived the ordeal and I feel like a stronger person now, so please buck yourself up, talk and regain that self-respect. Be proud!
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (16 August 2007):
 Hi Sweetie,
I am so very sorry for what you have gone through. What an absolutely horrible thing. You have nothing to be embarassed about. I am so glad that you were not harmed. You absolutely did the right thing in co-operating and keeping yourself safe. Your parents must be so relieved that you weren't physically hurt. You survived an assault and were victimized in your own home, a place where you should feel safe. I'm not surprised that you are having a lot of problems afterwards. You were the victim of a criminal attack and home invasion and robbery. You were bound and gagged. You must have a thousand different conflicting emotions. I think you should talk with your parents and get a really good councelor. I think it's normal to be having problems after the ordeal that you went through - I'd be suprised if you weren't. Time, more time and a lot of reflection will help you deal with what you have been through. You sound like a smart, young woman with a great deal of common sense. I hope if anything were to happen to my own daughter that she would react the same way you did in your situation to keep herself safe. God Bless, I hope you have some peace of mind soon.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 A good counselor will help you overcome these feelings of embarrassment. I think because you see yourself as a strong, athletic person your fear is displacing itself in the form of embarrassment. You have nothing to be embarrassed by, but fear is something you've willed yourself not to deal with because it makes you feel inadequate and helpless. You were victimized. Luckily this couple didn't actually harm you or your family. When you've had time to work through your grief/embarrassment and fear and deal with the reality of how lucky you are to be alive and well, you will probably feel angry. Please channel it into an investigation so the people who robbed you will be punished. In the meantime, counseling will be a very useful tool to help you process and come to terms with the ordeal. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Oh my god what a terrifying ordeal, don't be embarrassed. Talk to your parents about it,I'm sure they will give you all the support you clearly need. Thank god they didn't physically harm you, but emotional scars will be there for life.
SCUM like that should be shot,as they showed you NO MERCY. Rebuilding your life will be beneficial and you deserve to be happy my darling. Please hold your head up high and don't feel bad as these individuals violated you in the worst possible way. Take care we are all thinking about you my dear. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Dusky
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Aww, sweetie..you don't need to be embarassed. Although I would be too. Feeling so vulnerable would be awful. The only thing you can do is tell your parents the truth about your feelings. When you start your new life, things will be so new & busy that you will quickly get over what happened. Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Darling,
You have just been through a terrible ordeal, You most def need to speak to someone about how you feel...
You have nothing to feel embarressed about love, and if you were my daughter and this had happened whatever you said would be a relief as your parents must be so upset. As a mother you just want to protect your children no matter what age they are, sweety please open up to your mum and dad they will put your mind at rest, You sound like a very strong young lady to me to have gone through what you have, and I imagine the friends of your parents were extremely shocked and worried for you as well... Talk to someone and darling you will feel better, you have a new life starting soon and you will get through this and Im sure your family will feel much better when you have spoken to them.... If you need a chat at any time message me I'll be only to happy to help you get back on your feet and put this awfull experience behind you hunny YOU TAKE CARE MUCH LOVE TO YOU MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, xXx xXx +, writes (15 August 2007):
Firstly why are you feeling embarrassed, you have no need to. I'm no head doctor but I strongly believe in talking it's the best medicine money can't but, it's no good keeping any feelings to yourself, and chances are that you could become a recluse and suffer from severe depression and anxiety for a hell of a long time if you don't sort it out. If anything just be glad that nothing really bad happened to you (No offence intended) but it could of been a lot worse and it's over now. These random attack happen and I very much doubt it happening again they'll be mad to. If you can't talk to you parents talk to you boyfriend and you'll be surprised how much better you feel after getting the load of your chest!! When it comes to college, don't be forced back into it but you should go and be normal and it'll take you mind of it and get you back on your feet again.Don't let some low lives ruin yours because they don't have one!Good luck, take care!
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A
female
reader, xXx xXx +, writes (15 August 2007):
Firstly why are you feeling embbarresd, you have no need to. I'm no head doctor but I strongly believe in talking it's the best medicine money can't but, it's no good keeping any feelings to yourself, and chances are that you could become a recluse and suffer from severe deppression and anxiaty for a hell of a long time if you don't sort it out. If anything just be glad that nothing really bad happened to you (No effence intended) but it could of been alot worse and it's over now. These random attack happen and I very much doubt it happening again they'll be mad to. If you can't talk to you parents talk to you boyfriend and you'll be suprised how much better you feel after getting the load of your chest!! When it comes to college, don't be forced back into it but you should go and be normall anfd it'll take you mind of it and get you back on your feet again.Don't let some low lives ruin yours because they don't have one!Good luck, take care!
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