A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When ever i have sex i never climax.If i do it is because i touched myself but i never get one if i leave it up to my partner being inside of me. What's wrong with me? Is this normal? i want to be able to do this without touching myself but how do i do that?I also faked i got one and i want to let him know that i did not. How do i tell him i faked it with hurting his feelings.
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (3 February 2007):
 Telling a guy you faked an orgasm is VERY hurtful to his pride. I wouldn't tell him, just don't lie about it next time. Next time you sleep with a guy, tell him what turns you on, get him to "explore" down below more. Making love to a woman is a skill that has to be learned. ;o)
Get to know the guy much better before jumping into bed with him, (I'm not saying that you are doing that, but it does help if you get to know him better first), that way you CAN talk more freely with him and ask him what HE likes too.
It's normal for a woman to have a bit of help to orgasm and not just penetrative sex alone always does that so don't worry there. Talk to your man and tell him what you like and where you like it. Practise makes perfect.
Eve
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (2 February 2007):
 You don't have to tell him you faked it if you never do it again. Just tell him that you'd love it if he could touch you during sex since you hardly ever come through penetration alone. This is totally normal. Most women can't come through penetration so chill out and don't be afraid to tell him what you want.
CD
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Hi There,
Don't worry, You are perfectly normal! Less than 25% of women climax by penis alone, so almost 75% of all women need direct stimulation of the clitoris to reach orgasm. A small percentage of women (less than 1%) can achieve orgasms by stimulating their nipples alone!!!
Letting him in on your secret (faking it) might be a good starting place for beginning to talk about what you need from him to reach climax, whether you need oral or manual stimulation. When you faked it, he thought he was doing everything the right way, so he wasn't learning how to be a better lover either! He might be uncomfortable asking you questions about what you like - so you need to tell him. Once you start talking, he'll be more comfortable asking questions and your sex life will improve. We all start out with the romantic notion that everything should go smoothly, with no hitches - but just think of the practicing you can do together to get good at this! And I wouldn't worry too much that his feelings will be hurt - as women, we tend to worry and over-think things and most guys just don't! I think he is just happy that he is sleeping with you! If your partner is a good guy he will want to learn how to please you! Take care - Practice safe sex and Hope this helped you out.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (2 February 2007):
 70% of women cannot come solely by penetrative sex. I know it's rubbish but it's a fact, most of us have to help ourselves on a bit! There's nothing wrong with that though, guys should know it's not as easy for us as it is for them!
As for faking it before, don't mention it. I cannot come through penetrative sex as a rule but have done once. . . just a freak accident I guess, so pretend that's all it was.
Let him know you're frustrated by this and how difficult it is for you. Maybe he could give you more attention and make you come before him? Maybe you could incorporate the clitoral stimulation into your love making?
Whatever you decide, don't stress out about it. Most women have this exact same problem and, although it can be frustarting, we don't need to come to make a baby so I guess it wasn't high on God's list of priorities!
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): k this mite not be much help or give u an answer but your problem is very normal! its not uncommon at all! i personally have the same problem and cant reach an orgasm without touching myself.so as far as your boyfriend goes..its not his fault and by no means indicates that hes bad at sex!so dont feel guilty its totally normal!I wanted to be able to orgasm without touching myself but for me it will never happen. my boyfriend and i are close enuff that we talked about it and he totally understood. now i get HIM to touch me during sex so technically HE CAN bring me to orgasm..nothing wrong with that..but if youre like me you need to realize its not the end of the world if you know other ways of getting to orgasm..just because i hafta touch myself my bf and i are just as intimate and sex is better now that he knows how to please me..plus i feel 100% better not having to lie that he made me come! hope this helps
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): This is completly normal for alot of girls, including myself. It seems that no matter how long it goes on for the climax never comes until i assist myself. I find it could be a matter of a few things. One is that i think too hard about the climax that i dont allow my body to get wrapped up in the moment, next time during intercourse dont think about the orgasm, think about your partner, concentrate on the pressure of the intercourse and let that be your pleasure. Another thing could be is your position. I am a very small girl, and i feel like sometimes i cant be pleasured, but it sometimes is the positioning. Try different positions, new ones, ones you never thought about. I do the weirdest things sometimes!! And if you feel the need to tell him, if he loves you, he wont be mad or upset, hell completely understand and you guys can work together to make intercourse successful.
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