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writes: Hello to all.. I have a problem at the moment which is literally breaking my heart and my world. Ok.. the short version coz im sure you dont have all day!I broke up with my ex b/f (after 4yrs) Nov last year but we didnt spend any time apart, kept seeing eachother but living apart but still sleeping together etc.Almost as soon as we broke up i regretted it and told him this. We decided to spend some time apart to see how we both felt. We started seeing eachother just before christmas again after not having contact with each other for about 3 weeks.. I thought that things were good between us and we started staying over in eachothers places again and hanging out like we used to do so i was happy but i didnt want to keep bringing up the usual stuff about getting back together coz i thought if we just take it slowly it will work itself out.. so we were not officially back together.. around christmas time i found out that he had been seeing another girl and i was crushed. I still am. I asked him about it and he didnt deny it but said he still loved me and would always love me and that he was not seeing this girl as such but admitted he had been with her. I didnt see him for a while after that but last week we met up and he ended up staying over the night and the next day he left his cell phone behind.. I was having suspicions as to weather he was telling the truth or not about not "seeing" this other girl so i read his text messages!! BIG MISTAKE! it turns out that there was not only one girl but a few of them and they all seem to be crazy about him judging by the texts. I told him what id done and he was sad that i had done this but got over it or so i thought... We had been speaking since and he says its still me who he loves and maybe if we have some time apart then we can "talk about getting back together".. we met the other day by chance as we both work for the same company but in different locations but would meet up now and again and we ended up having a huge fight and said some things i regret and im sure some things he regrets saying too. He told me he "is not interested" in me anymore and that he never wants to see me again.I'm so confused coz 3 days earlier he was saying he loved me to bits and we could talk soon about us. I'm so confused as i think if he seriously wanted to work things out then he wouldnt need these other girls. I want him back but i feel its a lost cause now. I regret invading his privacy by reading his texts but then i would never have known about them.has anyone any idvice for a lost soul ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007): Your mistake here is not moving on after you broke up with him, it sounds like he never gave you a commitment to get his way back in with you, and you let him have all of the privelidges of a commited relationship without the strings.
He has lost passion for you and a little respect, and you should dump this dumper.....I know you think you love him, but you don't deserve to be a doormat while he flirts with zillions of women and has the security and comfort of a woman he dated for 4 years to take care of his needs...Not fair at all, and it is keeping you from moving on, which is what he wants because if you moved on he would have to work to win you back or let you go, and he likes his cake, ya know?
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reader, AskEve  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Hi Lost Soul,
You should definitely move on love. He likes you, but not enough to want to settle down with you, he's sharing himself with all these other women and god only knows what he's telling them. The fact that you said the text make the women sound as if they're crazy on him tells me he must be charming their socks off.
Always remember... men will tell you whatever you want to hear if they can get their own way, in other words sleep with you, and your boyfriend, it seems is no exception. If he had really wanted to try and work it out with you he would refrain from getting involved with ANYONE so he can sort his head out. He's only telling you he needs this space so he can go and be with these other women!!!! Think about it...
You said "3 days earlier he was saying he loved me to bits and we could talk soon about us..." Now... did you sleep with him AFTER he said that to you? I REST MY CASE!!!
HE'S USING YOU!
Eve
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