A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Lately I've been dealing with some self esteem issues. Here's the thing...I'm in love with a really great guy, and apparently he's crazy enough to love me back and want to be with me.I just don't feel good enough for him. I mean he's an amazing guy who deserves a fantastic girl, and I really don't think that's me. I'm nowhere near as pretty as girls he should be dating. I'm certainly not the smartest or funniest or even best to talk to. And I have so much emotional baggage I can't even begin to describe it. In the short time I've been alive I've gone through a whole load of trauma related to men, mostly sexual abuse and those things, and I really think it's completely screwed me up so badly that I'll never have a decent relationship.So basically I feel like this guy, although I very much love him, should break from me and find a girl who is actually worthy of him and not a complete therapy case like myself.I don't know if this is crazy talk on my part or if I really should just tell him to move on from me. What do you think?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 You are a very wonderful and unique person and that's why your boyfriend is with you. YOU just need to believe that. Forget about your past and the abuse that happened, don't feel guilty about it. These guys in the past were just prats and were not worthy of YOU!
Listen to me very carefully here love. Our bodies are full of molecules and the universe is also full of molecules. If you think negative thoughts all the time then negative molecules will build up in your body and your body, (just like a magnet) will ATTRACT negativity from the molecules in the universe. It's called "The Law of Attraction". If, however you think positive thoughts then you will draw positivity to you. This really works!
I have a link for you and I'd love you to watch it. It is a film called "The Secret" and it will change how you feel about yourself, I guarantee it! Watch this movie then email me back and tell me if it helped you okay?
http://thesecret.tv/home.html
The movie unfortunately costs $4.95 to watch, maybe your partner would watch it with you, snuggled up together on the sofa. Trust me.... watch it then get back to me (if you want to) and let me know what you think okay?
Eve
A
male
reader, Damo +, writes (27 January 2007):
this guy is obviously crazy about you for a reason! and trust me, u certainly are worthy of him. you just need to find out what that reason is. often someone will see that special something in a partner when their partner hasn't even seen it themselves.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007): I agree with the other Aunts here, that maybe taking the steps to helping yourself with self-help books, perhaps a self-esteem self-training course or counseling will help. I know..easier said than done-right? You need to believe you are a good person Realize that everyone one of us, combats self-esteem, emotional baggage and crap every day in our lives. Even the most outwardly confident folks deal with this. All of us, have all done some great and good things and we've done some crappy things, in life. That makes us human, Hun. But the bottom line in a healthy relationship, is that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else. And it takes hard work, self-awareness, perspective and a willingness to knowing that you can improve your way of thinking about yourself. I have this marvelous little trick I do for myself when I have blah days of feeling crappy about myself. It may sound corny but it works for me. I decide that no matter what is getting me down, I hunker down and 'practice being happy'. In other words, I make myself aware of how bad feelings are doing absolutely nothing to enhance my day. Really, the crap feelings are a waste of time, aren't they. I make a conscious decision to smile more at others, walk with a bounce and be brighter. When we create pleasantness in spite of our downer moods, we create an atmosphere in which others like your bf, can flourish. And that, my dear-is what he'll take note of about you. And you will be amazed at the positive feedback you will recieve..you will have no choice but to feel happy because you helped create this. And because you will start feeling happy about yourself, that my dear is what will build your self-esteem, over time. I wish you well, dear...please be strong and understand that you are the "builder of your own life'...some things may not be perfect, but it's your life and you do have the power to be a happier, more content person. Be strong, take care and best of luck to you.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (27 January 2007):
 You are worthy of him. You just don't feel that you are. Due to your difficult life experiences you have come to see yourself as not deserving happiness. But you do deserve it, we all do.
Therapy / councelling would be a good idea. Low self esteem can be truly horrible, and hard to overcome by yourself. My girlfriend has been battling low self esteem and recommends this book: "Breaking the chain of low self esteem, by Marilyn Sorensen". It's worth a read if you can get it (its on Amazon).
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (27 January 2007):
 Not feeling good enough is just a sympton of low self esteem. You need to build on your inner confidence and allow yourself to be happy.
Being sexually abused was not your fault but a trauma imposed upon you. Stop punishing yourself, you cannot change the past but can look forward to the future.
Just because you need some councelling does not make you crazy or unworthy of someone's love.
This guy clearly loves you for the special person that you are baggage and all.
A lot of people have baggage, some more heavy than others but we all have that soulmate waiting out there and can still be happy.
Be strong and take care
Angel of Love x
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