A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is under huge pressure and so am I. He is going through an awful divorce which is causing him to lose contact with his kids. He is giving up all his assets. He persuaded me to buy a house with him. My little boy and I have been through hell in recent years and we were so glad to find him. I have known him a long time. I was not the cause of the marriage break up. His divorce papers came yesterday and he said he felt like putting a shotgun to his head. He told me he feels trapped.I lost my job a couple of months ago but have found a low paid one to keep us going until I get better. He supported me at the start but is putting pressure on me to find a high powered one again. I made it clear at the start that I did not want to do that. I do not handle stress as well as I used to, having had a horrendous divorce myself.Now he is saying that everything is so very difficult, please never leave me, don't let someone take me away from you. Now I know that he did have one fling while he was married when things got rough. He was very guilty and considered ending it all then. He is a brilliant man but does he have a self-dutruct button or something? I have lost all confidence in his stability and I am scared witless.
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female
reader, depaiva  +, writes (5 February 2007):
I cannot possible understand what you're going through as I have not experienced anything like this, but my heart goes out to and your little boy.
Put aside all that is going on and think about your feelings for him-if you truly love him then with all your heart fight for him (don't forget about your son-he'll need a lot of love and attention during this time). Give your boyfriend all the support and understanding he needs (after all you're gone through a divorce too, so you know how he's feeling).
In today’s time it is so hard to find a good guy and if you've got one, no matter how hard things are never give up on love.
Be strong and when things get tough, just remember all the good things about him, about your son and yourself.
I truly hope things go well for all those involved.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (1 February 2007):
 I think seeing his divorce papers come through has hit him smack on the face and reality has set in that he IS now divorced. The fact that he's not going to see his kids for a long while will be getting to him too, can you imagine how YOU would be feeling if you never knew when you'd see your son again?
He is probably going through a lot of emotions just now, LOSS (of his kids), FAILURE (of his marriage), INSECURITY(because of money worries), FEAR(that he won't be able to look after you the way he wants to), WORTHLESSNESS (because of everything he's worked for (assets) and lost)and EMPTINESS (because he feels useless to you). Just bear with him. With your reassurance and support, love and tenderness he'll be fine with time. Don't moan at him and give him your worries at this moment as he feels he has enough of them. Just knuckle down and get on with things, try to remain bubbly, positive and cheerful and it will rub off on him.
His pride has taken one helluva knock just now. He'll be fine with time and some tlc.
Eve
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