A
male
age
36-40,
*ullen
writes:Hii really really really like this girl and she said she liked me but now shes goin out wif this other guy and i actually hate him. i want to beat him up and im on the verge of putting on a mask and absolutly kicking his face in. but i know i shouldnt but im going to if i dont get help. what should i do thanksall the best Mullen Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (3 February 2007):
 When you say you hate him is it BECAUSE he's going out with the girl you fancy or does it go deeper than that? Beating this guy up isn't going to win her off him, in fact it will only push them closer together as she'll go all mushy on him and want to look after him and bathe his wounds so that won't win you any points whatsoever.
I take it you've spoken to this girl before? I would just continue to be her friend, be friendly to her, smile when you see her and continue chatting with her. Let her see you don't have any hangups but are a mature and confident guy. Personality wins over looks every time and if you're pleasant every time she sees you then you'll win points with her. You could even ask her how her and the boyfriend are getting along, you might be surprised with the answer she gives you.
Eve
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007): Don't beat anyone up. It will lead to assault charges, a criminal record, and can affect your life.
AC
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007): oh yeah beat the crap out of her boyfriend! that'll make her like you! everybody has said everything else. He's not forcing her to be with him. She likes him and she wants him, hard as that may be for you, the fact is she can make her own decisions and she chose him. even if you did beat him up, that won't stop them being together. she won't split up with him cos you beat him up. it'll just make her think your a loser and want to look after him and protect him more. you'll push them closer together. just keep busy and try to forget her. if she didn't want to be with him, she wouldnt be with him. x
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Put on a mask and beat they guy up??? Atleast have the decency to give him a fair fight if you have to. Its not like he 'stole' your girlfriend. She just him over you, live with it
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): Legally, this constitutes assault and he should not do it.
This can only lead to arguments, and feuds, and even vendettas.
AC
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (2 February 2007):
Its not his fault SHE agreed to go out with him. She didnt have to if she didnt want to.Dont beat him up, ask the girl that if she likes you why doesnt she want to go out with you instead. It sounds like you didnt actually ask her out proply, so perhaps shes going out with him to p*ss you off for not asking her out yourself. You should have got in there. Also, no girl wants to be with a guy that goes around wearing masks beating peoples faces in.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Talk to someone about your anger. You're not reacting in a healthy way at all! Relationships and crushes are so fleeting at your age but just because you liked this girl doesn't mean she has to like you back. Take a few deep breaths and realise it's not the guy you're angry at.
CD
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Hi Mullen
Beat him up while wearing a mask?! LOL!! A ski mask (weird) or like a Batman mask? I think you need to just calm down a bit, okay?
I think right now all of these feeling that you have are just so fresh that you aren't quite sure how to handle this situation right now. You need to reflect on what's going on. *She* CHOSE to be with this other guy. Yes, it's a heartbreaking experience, but do you really want to be with her if you know that her heart is not with you? Would it make you feel worse to be with someone who is only thinking about another person? At least she's up front with the both of you - letting you know that she's with him now. She could have been a jerk to you and just gotten with the both of you.
Okay - so what is beating this guy up going to do? Obviously he's going to know you're the one that did it. Why? Because you are the one who likes his new girlfriend! She said she liked you and it makes sense that you'd be upset about this sort of thing, right? I don't think wearing a mask is going to protect your identity. Plus, you would probably be laughed at - I mean, it is pretty funny, you have to admit. Or weird...however you want to look at it.
Listen, beating up this guy will probably make the girl furious at you. You just beat up the guy she likes! She will probably end up not wanting to talk to you anymore. If she still does talk to you, then I can't imagine she'd want to be involved with you romantically. It seems like this sort of thing would strengthen their relationship, honestly. The way I see things is that since he's just been hurt, she'll be there to comfort him (like what a girlfriend should do).
I think what you really need to do is have a heart to heart with this girl if you really feel the need to do something. Tell her how you feel. Find out why she told you she liked you and then decided to be with this other guy. It seems like you need to have some sort of closure.
Mullen, don't let this bother you. Fill up your time with friends, other girls, hobbies and such. Like I said, it's better that she is with this other guy than playing you (or worse still, cheating on you). But violence is never the answer - you know this.
Take care.
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