A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have a problem, and it's me.I'm a girl, above 20 years of age and I've never had a boyfriend or even been kissed. Guys find me attractive, and pay me wonderful compliments, but, I have this tendancy to keep a certain distance from them and if they try to get close, I pull away.I'm not homosexual, I'm very much attracted to guys, but, I just don't have the guts to let my guard down.The worst part is, I don't even know what it is that I'm so scared of. No matter how attracted I might be to a guy, some kind of insecurity causes me to create a boundary between us. What am I so scared of? why can't I just go with the flow??What am I supposed to do? Pls. help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 I think you're terrified in case you freeze up, you're frightened things might get too heavy, he might try to kiss you or come on to you or try to sleep with you? What if you are a rubbish kisser? What if you don't know HOW to kiss properly? What if he tells his friends? What if they all laugh at me? THESE may be the kind of things that are running through your head.
On the other side of the coin you may be frightened to get involved in a relationship in case you get hurt, in case it gets too serious and you fall for him and he dumps you? Only you know the real reasons.
If someone does ask you out then you call the shots. Don't EXPECT anything on a first date. Go somewhere with people around, talk together and get to know one another better to see if you really like him. See if he's a gentleman and has good manners. Does he open doors for you? Is he considerate? Does he treat you well? All these are indications as to whether you'll like him and want to go out with him again. Any "nice" guy would never try to get fresh with you on a first date. A kiss... yes but anything further would be pushing it if he really respected you.
Just be yourself, go out and have fun together, chat and get to know one another, build up a friendship before going into anything too heavy. It's as easy as that!
Eve
A
male
reader, sonnensc  +, writes (2 February 2007):
I'm a guy but one idea is that you could first try making friends with guys who already have g/f or who you aren't worried about making a move on you.
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