A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidsI have been very unfortunate with relationships. I ve never had a longterm affair with a guy. The longest would be between three weeks and six months. My ex boyfriends are either were not ready for commitment at the time we were together, or they would just pull off....without giving me any explanation but it happened in both ways. Most of the times they would go cold or lose interest while i was still excited and looking forward to the relationship. Others would leave me for other women. This had been a knock on my confidenceAs I grow older I have learned a lot about myself and even think maybe there is something wrong with my character or maybe Im not hot to be dateable..... I always try to work things when a person decides to pull away, even to a point of being nice to them afterwards. When we break up I remain friends, even if we are not very close friends. .. Id wish we work things out and even think that there cud be a chance for me and the person to get back together. Later I make peace to a point where i dont mind seeing them dating the other person. When Im over a person im completely over.Funny enough within 2 months or even earlier, I can I easily get over a person.The problem now is that things have turned out differently. I find myself being chased by my ex-boyfriends ( especially the ones that dumped me) I find them all begging me to go back to them. It is always the case. But my principle is that when I move on I don't go back.This is irritating and its putting me in a bad state. I don't know if going back to a relationship that never worked is a great ideas. I remember that with some of them I was in tears when they were playing games with me. I don't feel anything for them, but pity and i fear being hurt by the same person over and over again. Do you think there is something im doing wrong....Well at the end of the day I just enjoy the chasing and attention, I like seeing them begging and suffering. Do you think i will ever find a man who will just love me straight away, without having to leave and decide to come back
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affair, confidence, get back together, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, depaiva  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 You're longing for someone who will feel the same way about you as you do about him and that he puts in as much of an effort into the relationship as you do. It's hard to find that kind of connection. If you still feel that connection with any of the guys that want you back then try again if not then don't waist your time or his.
Maybe you should stop looking for someone-that someone will come when you least expect it and it will feel so different to what you've been feeling. Maybe you haven't found the right person because you're not ready for it. Maybe your Mr. Right isn't ready for you. Give it time and most importantly don't stop believing in love and in who you are, take a look at yourself if you like who you are then don't doubt yourself-if you don't then work towards becoming a better person.
I wish you all the best
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (1 February 2007):
 If your past relationships didn't work out then there was a reason for that. I wouldn't go back, especially if they hurt you. You're right to move on. Be choosy when picking a partner and think of things you're looking for in the ideal mate. Be assertive, confident and friendly and I'm sure the right person will come along.
I definitely wouldn't go back with any of them though, enjoy the attention, feel flattered but at the end of the day... DON'T go back the way, move on!
Eve
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