A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:kk this is a very long versoin of my other question but it has more detail and might come up with more advice Okay me and my boyfriend started dating in October of 06. I thought I had no chance with him because first time he came over he was all over my friend and they made out and she knew I liked him but I didn’t really care. And o yeah he had a girlfriend at this time too. But my friend didn’t really like him and he finally got the hint, then he started liking me after like a week. He would call me, and I asked his friend why he would always call me and he didn’t know. Then one day his friend wrote me a letter saying that he was always calling me cause he likes me and he wants to hangout and I didn’t believe it so one of my other friends showed him the letter and asked him if its true and he said yeah…. And in my mind I was head over heels but I didn’t want to act like an idiot in front of him. So we started to hangout and I liked him a lot, but there were things I didn’t like about him: he smoked, he had a girlfriend that he denied, and I didn’t think my parents agreed. Well he “fixed” all those things… he broke up with his girlfriend; he SAID he wouldn’t smoke anymore, and my mom loved him! So it was good so he asked me out and I said yes after like 3 days. And It was AWESOME we talked everyday hed walk me to all my classes, and him and my mom got along really well. But then one day my friend told my mom that he said that his ex girlfriend used him for sex, and my mom was hearing rumors that he does pot. The whole pot thing was true but he doesn’t do it anymore. But he would still come over and everything was okay… he confessed to smoking 1 cigarette a day, which was okay I guess but then he started smoking in front of me and I didn’t say anything cause im not the fighting type. One Day after school I was waiting for my ride and I saw his ex girlfriend in his car and I so I called him when I got home and he picked up and we talked so I didn’t think anything of it. Around thanksgiving I was talking to him on the phone and he was at home DRUNK by himself acting totally retard… then his friend came over and he started say retarded stuff saying im coming over and say that im really sexy and that he thinks we need to mate…. Like a minute later he tells me to hold on and he asks his friend if he has any condoms and then says im all out dude I fucked (cant say her name but it was his ex) then he comes back on the phone and im really pissed but again I didn’t say anything… then after a while he said what’s wrong with you all of a sudden and I said nothing then I fell asleep on the phone. We were still okay then come around Christmas I went to Texas to visit family, and I didn’t talk to him at all while I was there and I was there through new years. When I got back I still didn’t talk to him until one day at school he told me to call him so I did and he told me that he would call me back because he was with his mom, but did he call back NO!!! So I didn’t know what to do until like 3 days later he called me and we talked for a while. One Friday he called me and my phone was on vibrate so I couldn’t hear it but anyways he called me cause he got off of work early and wanted to come over but I was passed out by 10:00 and I woke up the next morning and saw the 2 missed call and 2 messages that I had and now I REALLY REALLY wish I would have picked up my phone I would do anything just to be with him at that point. But I called him back…. Knowing by the message that he left me that he was working but I didn’t care… and he picked up and said he would call me when he got off work which was 11 pm so I sayed okay and I stayed up till midnight and know one called me. On Thursday (about 2 weeks ago) I started talking to his ex’s friend and she told me that hes been trying to get back with her but she don’t want anything to do with him, and how she thinks its funny how hes telling everyone that were not going out anymore and I responded with yeah I thinks its funny that he hasn’t told me that were not going out any more then like 10 minutes after I stopped talking to her he called me and said that he thinks that we shouldn’t go out anymore because he was always busy with work so I agreed cause I was kind of waiting for him to break up with me cause I don’t like to… I don’t have the guts to. And ever since I can’t get him out of my mind, im not heartbroken or anything because I have found some other guys but I always seem to compare them to him. Last weekend one of the new guys that I had met asked me out and I said no cause I wasn’t over him and I knew every time I would see him I would think of my ex . That might sound funny cause he cheated on me, and lied to my but that was the best 4 months of my life. I wish I could have him back again, now knowing that his ex doesn’t want anything to do with him. So now that’s why I need you I have 2 questions… Should I confront him and tell him how I feel… and #2 Should I just move on with my life even though its really hard…. And any other advise would be awesome!!! Thanx!!
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broke up, cheated on me, christmas, condom, drunk, ex girlfriend, heartbroken, his ex, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for the help but talked to his ex and she sayed that she doesnt want anything to do with him cause he cheated on her too with me actually. But i got one more problem i like one of his really good friends but i dont know if going out with his friend will hurt him more then itll will hurt me. Cause i would prolly have to see him everyday for numerous hours rather then just like 2 seconds in the hall, or it will hurt him because i chose to go out with his really good friend.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Hi,
You are both still very young and have a lot of living and loving to do. You said it was the best 4 months of your life. Hey, there are lots of other boys out there who can make you feel that way and more! He cheated on you and he lied to you. Is that REALLY the kind of guy you want for a boyfriend? Wouldn't you prefer to find someone who is crazy on you and wants to hang out and be with you all the time?
If you confront him and tell him how you feel I don't think it will change anything. He'll probably tell the ex girlfriend what you said and they'll both just laugh at you. I would definitely move on. You WILL get over this guy. Take time out with other friends, pamper yourself a bit, make sure you always look fabulous when he sees you and watches you, you can say "eat your heart out loser".
You only feel the way you do because there's no one else in your life at the moment. Get out and enjoy yourself with your girlfriends, throw yourself into your studies and forget guys for a bit. You'll probably meet lots of guys before the right one comes along, just remain your wonderful bubbly self and you'll be absolutely fine.
This guy is definitely not worth it.
Eve
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