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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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Should I end this though we have wonderful times? He's showed me no signs on wanting a future together and is looking for his soulmate online.
Q. I have been dating a guy for the past eight months. I am a very attractive female. My boyfriend is the average joe. He is a part-time musician. A while back he had to perform and I accompanied him. During one of the half hour breaks that he had a ...
A. 11 September 2007: If he's not on there checking his messages and options, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just letting a site sit with no action, doesn't mean much. He may think it's not too important to change it if he's not using it. I could see something like ... (read in full...)
How to say to a guy that has treated you well and cared for you that he is not the one?
Q. How to say a guy, that has treated you well, cared about you, was on your side to support you and who you know has feelings for you, that HE IS Simply Not THE Guy you're looking for?? and not to be painful for him? What's the best way? Please, any ...
A. 10 September 2007: You and he will bet better off long term by telling him. Before finding someone else. Take the time to list. (1) What am I looking for in a partner? (2) What personalities am I attracted to. (3) What personalities do I have that can benefit the ... (read in full...)
Is he taking me for a ride? Do you think I can learn to trust him??
Q. I got together with my boyfriend (who is 16 and I'm 19) while he was with another girl. They had only been going out for two months and we felt that what we had was really special. He's dumped her now but now I'm scared he'll do the same to me. ...
A. 10 September 2007: You're exactly right. Bull is what it's called. That's almost like what a friend of mine experienced. She came home, her boyfriend was on the couch. His pants were down, another girls pants were off, and she was orally pleasing him. She walked in ... (read in full...)
Why aren't I pregnant?
Q. ok so my boyfriend and i have been having sex unprotected since atleast march of this year and almost all the time he cums in me.... i'm not on birth control of any form... should it be taking this long? i mean shouldn't i be pregnant already? Is ...
A. 10 September 2007: I agree with mum2be. My ex-wife and I tried and tried and tried, nothing happened for 3 years. Then she decided, maybe we'd wait a bit, that's when it happened. ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity before university with a good friend or should I wait and try to find someone there?
Q. hiya. I am going to university in a couple of weeks time and dont know what i should do. Should i lose my virginity before university with a good friend or someone i like, or should i wait and try to find someone at university? Any advice would be ...
A. 10 September 2007: It's your virginity, and your choice. If it was me, I don't let pressures by what others do affect the decisions I take part in. Don't feel pressured to give it up. Even to wait to find that someone special, do it and don't let anyone tell you not ... (read in full...)
I am currently in a marriage where all we do is argue. I feel at times my wife is treating me like a child.
Q. I am currently in a marriage where all we do is argue. I feel at times my wife is treating me like a child. There are times when we have gone out and she has embarassed me in front of friends and family. About a year ago I had a slight breakdown and ...
A. 10 September 2007: When she has that comment, without being angry, tell her "ok, i'll talk you listen". When you're done explaining what you need too, ask her how she really feels about your marriage, where she sees the problems are. When doing this make sure you ... (read in full...)
During my recovery, I asked him to accompany me for the night, he went to his friend's party instead and slept with someone else. Should we break up?
Q. I have been in my current relationship now for nearly 6 years. We got together when we were 16 years old. We are now at different universities, have completely different lives and all we seem to do is argue. I nag him all the time to be more ...
A. 10 September 2007: Time to end it. I know having a relationship for that time, and starting at 16 will be hard to make a change. Remember at 16 you're both developing, mental changes and beliefs change with the puberty. I think you have both grown during those changes ... (read in full...)
Am I being unrealistic when I sit here and hope to experience that magic feeling?
Q. Hi I'm very confused right now. I'm in my 30s looking for something which most people I speak to say will never happen. I've been in a few relationships, with the longest being for 6 years which ended last year. The reason we finished is that I am ...
A. 10 September 2007: How romantic. That's what everyone wants, but rarely happens. I'll tell you why. First you must be whole. You must be complete in knowing your strengths, weaknesses, and you must have internal happiness even if single. The person who find to pair up ... (read in full...)
Since I cheated too, we're "even-steven," but I don't know if this means he will be unfaithful again.
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me the other day. But...i did the same to him... i cheated with an ex. He knows, i told him, and he told me he cheated on me. We're being honest with each other, which he really appreciates. But he said he was upset and mad ...
A. 10 September 2007: Nope not cool, not even, messed up. You just took one mistrust and by doing the same made it where you now have a relationship which neither person can be trusted. Took one issue and made it into two separate issues. Can you trust him because he ... (read in full...)
Since I know that electrical faults can cause house fires I've become paranoid. Please help.
Q. I know when you read this a lot of you are going to say i'm paranoid and maybe i am but what can i do? Well i'm just absolutly scared of something bad happening like a fire or something at home, i don't know why i just am. The thing is its ruin...
A. 10 September 2007: You're not over reacting. I want you to trace back to when you began having these fears. Did anything happen. Did you see anything happen. Did anything happen to you, a friend or a family member? many times a traumatic event can surface fears. It ... (read in full...)
I am 13 so, why do I want sex?
Q. yah i'm 13 i know sex isn't worth it in the end but i still want it for some reason any help...
A. 10 September 2007: Your hormones are changing. You're going from eeeewwww to thinking guys in a different way. I agree you should not act on your feeling until you are really, really sure. Your virginity is yours, once it's gone that's it. Watch out when choosing a ... (read in full...)
He wants to date others but misses me when we're on a break...is all this worth it?
Q. Here is my problem...My boyfriend who I've been with for almost 5 months now is having feelings of wanting to date other people. He's had these feelings for a month or so and now we're taking a week "break". I miss him so much though, and for some ...
A. 10 September 2007: Let him go, he's not worth it. I read a story once, which was disturbing. A husband and wife separated for 30 days, during which the husband had sex with other girl. They got back together, said it was a great benefit to their marriage that they ... (read in full...)
Okay my problem is that I'm 14, and a freshman at high school and I'm terrified of sex.
Q. Okay my problem is that I'm 14, and a freshman at high school and I'm terrified of sex. I recently ended a relationship with my boyfriend, although he did not pressure me for sex I am constantly hearing girls my age losing their virginity. My sister ...
A. 10 September 2007: If your scared, you're not ready. Just because everyone else is doing it. Try to be different, and don't follow in the footsteps of everyone else and do it in your own time. Virginity is one thing in life that once it's gone you'll never be able to ... (read in full...)
I think I may be on the verge of a relationship with a girl who has just turned 18. Is it respectable to date a girl with this age gap?
Q. Hi, I'm 23 years old and I turn 24 in a couple of months. I think I may be on the verge of a relationship with a girl who has just turned 18. Is it respectable to date a girl with this age gap?...
A. 10 September 2007: That's not a bad age gap. What you need to look at before looking at what you have in common is not an age gap, but a maturity gap. Many girls and guys that are 18 are still in their hang out and party phase. If you are in that area too, it's fine, ... (read in full...)
Should I chuck him or keep holding on and waiting for some miracle to occur?
Q. I'm 16 years old and have had the same boyfriend for about 1 year and a half. At first it was really lovely, and then it just went sour. We have our good days, but when it gets bad, like some stupid argument over who buys what, we shout and scream ...
A. 10 September 2007: A guy calling a girl a pussy. Here is the US, guys are called that, but not girls. lol
Anyway, it's time to move on. If being together causing these problems, it's time to make a change. I know you're young, and will have other opportun... (read in full...)
Should I end this though we have wonderful times? He's showed me no signs on wanting a future together and is looking for his soulmate online.
Q. I have been dating a guy for the past eight months. I am a very attractive female. My boyfriend is the average joe. He is a part-time musician. A while back he had to perform and I accompanied him. During one of the half hour breaks that he had a ...
A. 10 September 2007: If he's looking for someone else, it's time to end it. ... (read in full...)
Was it a date or just a friend thing? Any advice?
Q. I need help. I've been friends with this guy for a while now. I always had kind of a crush on him. I finished a 4 year relationship 3 months ago and he used to advise me all the time. Lately we've been hanging out a lot and we usually don't hang out ...
A. 10 September 2007: Take it slow. It may be a date or just friends, at least the first night. The other nights seem to be a bit more steamy. There is an issue, if you don't mind an additional comment. His paying for everything and offering to do so in advance. That ... (read in full...)
I love her but I have trust issues from previous relations so I've been snooping around and can't put my mind to rest. What should I do?
Q. My past is not the greatest i have slept with random girls and i had some one night stands! so here is my question - Me and my girlfriend started dating 6 months ago and when i moved into her house i snooped around because that is the pers...
A. 10 September 2007: The fact she slept with this person is not what hurts. If it was you'd picture all of them with her up your stairs. What she did in the past should not be an issue with the relationship you are having now. You are taking her past and mixing it with ... (read in full...)
How to say to a guy that has treated you well and cared for you that he is not the one?
Q. How to say a guy, that has treated you well, cared about you, was on your side to support you and who you know has feelings for you, that HE IS Simply Not THE Guy you're looking for?? and not to be painful for him? What's the best way? Please, any ...
A. 10 September 2007: Just be honest with him. It may hurt no matter which way you put it. It's not what you say, it's what he's losing. Do it in a caring manner, placing yourself to blame and not him. ... (read in full...)
I want us to learn how to control our anger towards eachother, but after the police intervention I'm afraid the relation will end.
Q. Please someone help me. I have been crying for over 3 days now. My boyfriend and I have been having some problems, for intance: Whenever he got me really really mad, I would try to smack the back of his head or his chest or sometimes slap the side ...
A. 10 September 2007: Your anger seems as if it's a big problem on both ends. His going to jail, he's not allowed to contact you until after his court hearing. Once the arrest there is a mandatory restraining order placed. This is one that even if you contacted him, the ... (read in full...)
I want to keep this relationship/friendship going but it's disappointing when the answers are postponed. He says we are soulmates, and we're both married.
Q. i've recently been in touch with someone i new in high school. we're both married and have grown children. we are very attracted to one another, and he has stated in one of his e-mails that we are soulmates, however, he is very slow to respond ...
A. 10 September 2007: Take care of your marriage, he needs to take care of his. It's OK to keep a friendship, but he's not the one you married. And if you do keep communications, it's not appropriate to keep your husband in the dark.... (read in full...)
My husband flirts with other women, takes their numbers but says its innocent.
Q. I have discovered that my husband has been flirting with other women - but would like advice on whether he's going too far. I have been with him for 5 years, married for 2. Last night he came come late and drunk, about 3am. He fell asleep mid text...
A. 10 September 2007: That behavior has gone way too far. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has hit me in the past and I'm stupid for taking him back but I just can't let go.
Q. hi, I'm really stuck in a relationship I don't want to be in no more, I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years and he has started taking drugs cocaine, I've told him if he carrys on I'll end it but I don't think he cares. He has hit me in the ...
A. 10 September 2007: If your boyfriend is hooked on drugs. It's time to let him go. People who have abusive personalities don't change often. How can he care for you and have a good relationship with you, if he doesn't care about himself and his activities and doesn't ... (read in full...)
I think I may have got myself into a difficult situation and I need advice.
Q. Hi, I think I may have got myself into a difficult situation and I need advice. A few months ago I came out of a long term and very long distance relationship. It had been very difficult and I was crushed when it ended. Nearly two months later I ...
A. 10 September 2007: Now you are in the position to make your decision and not let yourself push what you want aside for someone else.
Think it through slowly, there's not time limit in finding true love. Weigh out what you want and don't want, compare and go with ... (read in full...)
My friend said stuff to her on my computer (my MSN) so she thinks I'm a complete weirdo now.
Q. OK so I've got a bit of a problem and it's bugging me big time. A couple weeks ago I went on a few dates with a girl and I really liked her, usually if I'm with a girl my intentions are pretty obvious, but with her it was different, I really liked ...
A. 10 September 2007: send her flower and apologize for your friend's disrespect. ... (read in full...)
I'm going crazy. Should I call him or is it too soon?
Q. My boyfriend (27) and I (26) have been dating for two years. Two weeks ago, he told me he's not in love with me anymore and that he needs a break. He was everything a girl could ever dream of in a man. He truly could not have been a more perfect ...
A. 10 September 2007: I don't like these questions. In break ups there's always one person who ends up getting hurt. My answers are straight and to the point. I won't fill you up with false hopes. I think you're holding on to something that isn't going to happen. I'm ... (read in full...)
She never calls me, I always have to call her first yet she calls her friends with no problems.
Q. dear cupid Hope you are fine. I have a girlfreind who I love so much, but the problem is that, I don't know if this girl loves me as much as I do her, this girl does not call me at all, I have to call her everytime... even if I send her air time... ...
A. 10 September 2007: When you call her. Ask her "where do we stand" "do you want this relationship" Ask questions, you'll find your answer. Or you can go with the old saying "actions speak louder than words." If she says she does want to continue, then express your ... (read in full...)
Why is he acting this way?
Q. Ok, this is going to be complicated. I went out with this boy for 3 months, and I broke up with him because he wasnt putting any effort into the relationship, at all. It was always me phoning and seeing him etc. Anyway, we were good mates for w...
A. 10 September 2007: There are boundaries in relationships. What we do, and what we don't do. When you changes from being friends to bf/gf you changed the boundaries of that relationship. Then you broke it off. If you were his first, you would be considered more ... (read in full...)
Ever since we had an abortion I've been a paranoid freak.
Q. Im 17 and I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months.. I know that's not a very long time but I'm crazy about him! I'm 99% sure he feels the same for me.. but I can't stop being paranoid. I'm worried that he's cheating on me, even though he has ...
A. 10 September 2007: Getting an abortion is a big deal. It's much more than just going to the doctor. For women, the long term effects can literally change the way you view yourself, and the people you are with.
Do yourself a favor. Seek help with a trained psyc... (read in full...)
How do I get my girlfriend to tell her mum about our online relationship?
Q. hi i need some advice i have been seeing this girl online for 2 months now and we are planning to meet eachother soon the only problem is that she cant come and see me just yet because her mam hasnt met me yet(she doesnt even know her daughter(17)is ...
A. 10 September 2007: It's hard sometimes to tell parents about on-line relationships. You have to remember most of us didn't have relationships on line when we were your age. Many parents of teens don't believe on-line relationships are a good way to go.
I think in t... (read in full...)
I want to continue a romance with a friend. Any advice?
Q. I have a a female friend which i knew since were kid,but we were never closed during our childhood days, three years ago we got so much attached that she always want me to call her on phone, but i rarely called her.she stopped seeing me or sometime ...
A. 10 September 2007: I'd go for it. History has shown us that first developing a friendship, then developing the relationship out of the friendship make some of the strongest marriages.
It sounds like you both love each other, as friends, very much, so 9/10 of what ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to trust friends again after she ended up with my man 7 yrs ago?
Q. I've been hurt in the past with a boyfriend of 4 yrs. Throughout our relationship i've had his ex in my face not being able to let go. She went off with someone and was seeing someone for a while. In the middle of this I met him. She threatned to ...
A. 10 September 2007: Your lack of trust is normal but not normal. On the normal end, your not the only one who responds to this trauma in the way you did. On the not normal end. The behavior its self is abnormal. Let me shed some light on this. Most of you're changing ... (read in full...)
Why would he stay with someone that treats him so badly when he could clearly do better?
Q. I need some advice/help/opinions... I am 18 years old, have only had one serious bf who I recently broke up with, despite having feelings for him, it wasnt a healthy relationship for me to be in. Anyway...my best friend right, has the most ...
A. 10 September 2007: You seem as if you are a nice caring person. Morality has decreased so much over the years.
I'll answer your questions, but first promise yourself something. Never allow yourself to compromise your morals.
First: People stay with people sometime... (read in full...)
My guy is a jealous person. We have a long distance relationship. I feel pushed out and I am 3 months pregnant.
Q. hello, well here goes i have a question, my fiance is not there for me as i feel he should be he is real jealious but doesnt want to give me much attention but i mean jealious when im not even doing any thing wrong im so unhappy but i lo...
A. 10 September 2007: First be honest with yourself. What home life do you expect your baby to have? A caring father who's around and a partner with you, or one who is disconnected? You love him, so if you want him you need to be honest with him. It takes strength, ... (read in full...)
If he's not interested in me any more why will me ex not leave me alone?
Q. Hi there, I found a guy I fell in love with and we were together five years, he had a passion for racing bikes, which I never questioned because I loved the fun that came with it.. As soon as I mentioned maybe moving in together or taking our ...
A. 10 September 2007: He's seeking a physical relationship, but is afraid of a committed one. Some people are like that. I won't commit, but I do want what you have to offer. Tell him you're not playing games. You're over, and he needs to grow up and figure out what he ... (read in full...)
We split. He seems only interested in the internet. How do I let him go?
Q. My ex told me he prefered spending time on his computer than with me. I suggested we break up but it was clearly his choice. I don't think he knew how to tell me. He is not good with people skills. He said we can be friends, but he has almost no ...
A. 10 September 2007: Get some friends and family to help you make the transition. Let them know you feel sort of week in doing this, so when you become week, their strength will pick up the slack.
It's sad that someone would rather spend time with their computer. This... (read in full...)
I have a really prominent chest bone....
Q. hey I have a really prominent chest bone.... but it only shows on one side so it looks like I have 1 boob MUCH bigger than the other..... I am only 15 so my boobs are quite small.... when they develop more will the bone be covered??? and how long...
A. 10 September 2007: You notice it because it's attached to you. We all grow up self critical about how we personally look. The truth is, no one looks at us as hard as we look at ourself. Chances are, everything will even out just fine. But too, when you're worrying ... (read in full...)
Should I kiss him? I don't want to seem slutty...
Q. hey, I recently posted a question on here about 2 days ago.. well I have another problem with "j", well first off for those who dont know, I am dating this boy named "j" and he's so sweet and kind. He's a sophmore and I am in my last year of middle ...
A. 10 September 2007: Giving a kiss on the cheek is not slutty. You two are dating, its normal to have some affection toward the person you are dating. Now if you stopped to give every guy is school a quick peck as you pass them in the haul, that might be viewed as being ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I am bi or just curious...?
Q. Am I Bisexual? I constantly stare at girls.. at their boobs and asses you know and of course I think of them sexually but I cannot see myself with a girl that I would really love. I can only see myself loving a guy although I am CONSTANTLY wonde...
A. 10 September 2007: You're normal. It's Ok to have an attraction to a female, being a female. Women are the beautiful sex. Art work, and statues have been symboled around the female body for centuries. Being a curious girl is part of growing up. Girls generally wonder ... (read in full...)
Is he taking me for a ride? Do you think I can learn to trust him??
Q. I got together with my boyfriend (who is 16 and I'm 19) while he was with another girl. They had only been going out for two months and we felt that what we had was really special. He's dumped her now but now I'm scared he'll do the same to me. ...
A. 10 September 2007: Dating a 16 year old at your age. A 16 year old boy is not really ready for a committed relationship. He may not be meaning to be taking you for a ride, but he is in the point of his life of experimenting to find out what he's looking for when it ... (read in full...)
I am 6 weeks pregnant my partner of 5 years has left me.
Q. I am 6 weeks pregnant my partner of 5 years has left me. I have a daughter from a previous guy although she believes my partner who has just left is her daddy. I am engaged to be married although my partner has cancelled the wedding 3 times, saying ...
A. 10 September 2007: It's time to let him go. It doesn't sound like he's looking for a life time partner. When you let him go and come back then do it over and over again, you're teaching him that you accept his behavior. At some time you have to be strong and let him ... (read in full...)
What exactly is women's "cum"?
Q. I know males "cum", but so do women. But I'm not entirely sure what women's "cum" is. Is it when the women gets wet? Or is it the same as a man, (when they get excited they "squirt" come). What I'm trying to say is, What is women's "cum"? ...
A. 10 September 2007: It's when a women gets wet. Women orgasm internally where men do it externally.... (read in full...)
I'm a student and he knows that my financical situation is unstable and he's got a well paid job.
Q. Is this the Austrian way of doing things or am I being foolish. I'm so confused, dating a guy for 3 months. Everything is okay. He text me sms me, not much callings but when I ask him to call he usually does. The problem is, when I'm home back got ...
A. 10 September 2007: You need to redevelop your relationship boundaries. All though it seems he is taking advantage of you, you need to look at his intentions. Is his intentions to take advantage of you, or is that how it looks on the surface. The reason for buying ... (read in full...)
She won't cut him off completly and I feel like I am going to get hurt in the end. Am I wrong for asking her to stop talking to him?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma, I love my girl but we have had problems in the past. I don't think she feels we can get passed it and I think she has feelings for another. It started as a long distance relationship 6 years ago, I live in England, she ...
A. 10 September 2007: No you're not wrong. It's normal the way you feel. You need to let her know how you feel, but in a constructive way. Tell her you're hurt by her contact with this person. Their relationship is over and she's in one with you. Find out how much she ... (read in full...)
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