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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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Based on our convo, do you all think this guy likes me?
Q. I'm 18 years old and really like my friend who is 19. Just wondering what you guys think of this conov I had with him the other night on msn... Basicaly I was talking to him the other night on MSN and I was saying how most of the good guys are ei...
A. 27 September 2007: Well take care. That's great that he waits. He should be proud of doing so. One big problem we have all over the world, people see someone cute, rush things because of looks, and just settle for bad behavior.
I wish you luck, being weary is OK, s... (read in full...)
Based on our convo, do you all think this guy likes me?
Q. I'm 18 years old and really like my friend who is 19. Just wondering what you guys think of this conov I had with him the other night on msn... Basicaly I was talking to him the other night on MSN and I was saying how most of the good guys are ei...
A. 26 September 2007: Only for those who know the whole story.... (read in full...)
Based on our convo, do you all think this guy likes me?
Q. I'm 18 years old and really like my friend who is 19. Just wondering what you guys think of this conov I had with him the other night on msn... Basicaly I was talking to him the other night on MSN and I was saying how most of the good guys are ei...
A. 26 September 2007: When you ask a question on here, we go directly off the information you provide to give you suggestions. Our suggestions are not probabilities, they are possibilities and areas of concern.
If it was mentioned you have hung out and didn't repr... (read in full...)
Still in love with the ex and have been seeing him behind my husband's back. What to do?
Q. Dear Cupid... Have I got a problem.. I was living with someone for 10 years, we had two daughters and a horrible relationship. We were young and naive and ended up seperating. Then right away I started seeing the man who is now my husband of 3 ...
A. 26 September 2007: Either way, it's time to tell your husband. He has the right to know what you've been doing. No you can't help who you love, but you could have helped who's you're going to end up hurting. You're still in love with someone who you had a horrible ... (read in full...)
My mother treats me unfairly, and favorises my brother. Can't see what I have been doing wrong.
Q. I struggle with my mum's relationship with my brother. He's a year older than me. I'm very envious, which often makes me nasty towards both of them. My mum seems to think he is the most perfect person in the world, even though he dropped out of ...
A. 25 September 2007: One more thing. If your dad and she are together, and she's doing this and he recognizes it, he needs to be a man and step up to his wife and confront her. ... (read in full...)
My mother treats me unfairly, and favorises my brother. Can't see what I have been doing wrong.
Q. I struggle with my mum's relationship with my brother. He's a year older than me. I'm very envious, which often makes me nasty towards both of them. My mum seems to think he is the most perfect person in the world, even though he dropped out of ...
A. 25 September 2007: You need a counseling mediator. You aren't getting real far just talking to her, so you need a nonjudgmental individual in the middle to explain the different behaviors and affects of the behavior. ... (read in full...)
My good mate is kissing me on the lips lately; I would quite like to be with him but don't want to ruin the friendship.
Q. There is a guy I am really good mates with but recently he keeps kissing me, on the lips. And I'm starting to have feelings for him and do not know what to do because I don't want to ruin the friendship we have but I would quite like to be with him....
A. 25 September 2007: That's always tough. Speak to him, express your concern, and of course listen to what he wants. It's not always a ticket to doom if two friends get together. You never know, he may just be the one. If you worry don't live than you miss living.... (read in full...)
My ex hinted he would tell my husband if I didn't continue the affair. How do I tell my husband without damaging the marriage?
Q. Help, I'm married and have kids. I recently ran into an old boyfriend from my teenage years. My husband knows his name (Chris) and what we did (we never had 'all the way' sex, I just performed oral sex on him about 10 times or so). Anyway, ...
A. 25 September 2007: How to do this without damaging your marriage???? Right!!
No matter how you go about it, it's going to hurt. Unless you've messed up before, no one can say how your husband is going to react to this behavior. Now let me ask you honestly. Do you r... (read in full...)
She wouldnt have sex with me for 2 years yet now we have split she has had sex with someone new.She tells me to go have fun. Is she manipulating me?
Q. Hey, about 2 months ago my girlfriend broke up with my after 2 years. I'm 18 and she is 20, and it was both of our first serious relationship. We only argued in the last few months, and it was over worthless things. We never had sex, because she ...
A. 25 September 2007: Your welcome, and take care. You're lucky, I wish I was 18 again, there's a lot I would have done differently.... (read in full...)
20 and never kissed a girl. I'm always told to "be myself," advice, please?
Q. i'm 20, I am a confident person, I'm nice and I have a sense of humour. How many girlfriends have I had - 0. How many have I asked out - 7 I think. I have never kissed a girl let alone had sex and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. One girl sai...
A. 25 September 2007: Congratulations, take it one step at a time. The first time I kissed a girl, I didn't request to see her naked, I would have gotten slapped. I waited until the second time. lol... (read in full...)
I know its wrong, (shes my teacher!)but I am going to win her back!
Q. I know we did wrong but please help me get her back, im 16 now! I cant stop thinking about this teacher. Me n my teacher got on really well then one day we kissed. From then on we kept seeing each other n planned to meet out of school but that ...
A. 25 September 2007: Sometimes you just have to accept the ending to allow someone else to live happy. Take care and good luck to you.... (read in full...)
I've slept w/ my friend's gf when he left. She was going to follow him, but now she loves me! What should I do?
Q. Her bf, a friend of mine as well, left promising she should join him. That is not what he told me. Since he left we started to phone and meet almost everyday. When I opened my heart and mentioned my deep feelings she answered we could only be good ...
A. 25 September 2007: First, Who needs friends when he has a friend like you????
I think there are certain rules that govern a "good" friendship, and one of those is "thou shall not sleep with friends girlfriend." Neither one of you have any respect for your friend o... (read in full...)
We've had rows about her ex's - part of it due to my insecurities, but am I wrong to feel this way?
Q. I need help dealing with something my girlfriend did in her past. I've been seeing this girl for 6 months and when things are good - they're great. My only hang up is that she confessed to cheating on her last boyfriend with a previous Ex-boy...
A. 25 September 2007: You're not wrong for feeling that way. You feel this way because cheating is an action which causes pain, it's a deceit from one person to another. If she could do it to him, then it's possible she can do the same to me.
Now cheating is a NO EXCUS... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex to move on - I still care about her as a friend, so I just can't ignore her.
Q. I recently broke up with my girlfriend. A few months ago we got in an argument, and she abandoned me. She lied to me about a lot of things, and i thought that I forgave her. Before I begin, I need to explain that I have no hard feelings. A...
A. 25 September 2007: Did you tell her why you can't be together? I'd be nice about it. I wouldn't say something like (when it comes to sex, you were like a doctors office just take a number, then NEXT) That may not go over real well.
OK no more bad jokes. First, s... (read in full...)
She doesn't care about me as much anymore, but wants to fix things. What can be done?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for three years, and we have been very in love with each other all this time, we used to do everything together, she even moved in with me. Two months ago she went to work in another country for 6 weeks and ...
A. 25 September 2007: now when answering these questions, we may say some things that don't make sense, that you don't want to hear, or state possibilities, not probabilities. We don't know you and we go off the little bit of information you have provided to attempt to ... (read in full...)
How do I get through to this guy that I'm already committed to my bf??
Q. i have a friend at work who has started showing an intrest in me. have told him from the word go that i have a boyfriend whom i am commited to. He also acknowldges that he has a girlfriend but he only wants to know me better personally. He insists ...
A. 25 September 2007: Say this. I would love too, when can the four of us get together. Let him know you will not meet just you and him, that's not right for the other people involved, but you'd be happy to if you can arrange it with your boyfriend and his girlfriend to ... (read in full...)
Based on our convo, do you all think this guy likes me?
Q. I'm 18 years old and really like my friend who is 19. Just wondering what you guys think of this conov I had with him the other night on msn... Basicaly I was talking to him the other night on MSN and I was saying how most of the good guys are ei...
A. 25 September 2007: He might like you. If I were you though, I'd proceed with caution if you decide to pursue this. You don't want to end up meeting a controlling, harassing, stalker. There is something that just rubbed off on me the wrong way when reading how his name ... (read in full...)
Abusive boyfriend, no support, but I'm scared to act
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 and a half years. Last night we had a big fall out because he thinks I've been sending him emails - when I haven't! And basically the argument was just that and picking at things till he finally said ...
A. 25 September 2007: Yes you'll find someone who'll love you and want to be with you just because you're you. Not with a pig like the one you were with. He broke it off because he is ending it. Telling you to leave him alone is a clear picture of that. Get counseling ... (read in full...)
Thinking of leaving my husband but unsure
Q. I separated from my husband after years of feeling emotionally isolated from him because he never talks to me or shares his thoughts and feelings. A few years prior to this, I formed a bond with a male friend I had and now I realize I had an ...
A. 25 September 2007: I would say stay married, but that's because I have a real high belief in marriage, what it means, and the vows I take very serious. But that's me not you. These decisions are yours to make. What I would worry about is this. Does this other man know ... (read in full...)
She's left me, and I'm not sure I believe her reasons why.
Q. She's left me, and I'm not sure I believe her reasons why. She told me it's because she was going away to study and didn't want to "drag out something she didn't think would work". We were together for a year, she was my first love, and it feels ...
A. 25 September 2007: You need to quit thinking that you're not worth it. How can you think low of yourself, when it's the decision she made. I know you're crushed and hurt. If you have doubts with her reason, you're probably right. There's a reason we've been blessed ... (read in full...)
If you lose all respect for a human being which you are to share your life with, is it even conceivable that you can ever respect the person again?
Q. Hope someone can give advice. Fairly recently my husband was caught redhanded cheating. I have been struggling understandibly with all the emotions involved when this happens. He has also done all the expected things - begging for forgiveness, ...
A. 25 September 2007: Who knows, it's up too you. Respect is something that is given from one person to another, it depends on if you decide to extend it to him.
Your ability to make choices doesn't subtract because of this situation. Remember, it's not you who chos... (read in full...)
I'm drowning and seriously in need of some good advice!
Q. Ok the short version of this...i am 22 years old... i have been dating this guy for about a year now. we live together but there are some issues...we both have mental issues (depression and stuff liek that) so that alone puts stress on our ...
A. 25 September 2007: I know, that's what life really is about. What can I do today to benefit not only myself but who I chose to be around better. It's your life, you choose how to develop it. I started my development years ago, when I was a drunk, and had children, ... (read in full...)
I had to move, so my girlfriend said "she loves me, but can't anymore." Please help me!
Q. I wont bore you with the detail, but 5 months ago I came out of a relationship, or rather, I was thrown out of it by circumstance. I had to move away from this girl who I considered to be the love of my life. That may sound foolish, since she is my ...
A. 25 September 2007: It really does depend on her. She may write off what you said, realizing the situation. Others all though there is something that prompts our actions, they still look at what is said as a direct attach toward them.
Whining is a quick way to turn... (read in full...)
I'm pushing my boyfriend away and cause silly arguments, but why do I do it?
Q. i tend to pust my boyfriend away and cause silly arguements i really love him so why do i do it?...
A. 25 September 2007: Realize that it's OK to disagree. Your with him because of your differences, not because of being the same. We argue because of perceptions. You look at something one way, he looks at it differently. Who's right, or maybe you're both wrong. It's OK ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be annoyed that hes taken her myspace address?
Q. Hey guys, My boyfriend works at a race course and recently they had a kind of Bikefest things where there were motorbikes for sale. And what do you get with Motorbikes? Slutty Teenage Promoters! Ok well apparently they asked him if he wanted a...
A. 25 September 2007: You have a right to be annoyed, but all though there is no control, there still has to be respect. I think it is disrespectful for him to ignore your feeling and keep communications with someone he has just met and hasn't had time to really build a ... (read in full...)
I long to be with her but I cant. She is also a girl. I need tips on how to deal with these feelings?
Q. I am in love with a person who will never love me, because we're both girls. I love her very much, with all my heart, and I long to be with her although I know I can't. I would never force her to do anything, or try to convince her. I just need tips ...
A. 25 September 2007: I'd just tell her, that way you know where you stand. You may be surprised, or not, but even if disappointed, it's better to know than to always wonder, and if you know, you'll be able to deal with your feelings a bit better than trying to and not ... (read in full...)
I was so happy when we first met but he is different now?
Q. I need major help. I can't help like i am setting myself up for heartbreak all the time with my current bf. i started dating one of my best friends about 9 months after i got out of my first long relationship which lasted 4 years. i was so happy ...
A. 25 September 2007: You sound like a Mrs. Fixit. You can't fix behaviors, the person who displays them has to take the action to change them. What happens, I mention this quite a bit, we learn to settle. We compromise what we want, because we don't want to loose the ... (read in full...)
3 times in 9 months my boyfriend's family has had problems, and he backs away from me. Will he be back?
Q. This is the 3rd time my b/f has done this to me. We've been together for 9 months. His mother will be telling the whole family that she wants a divorce from his step dad. I know this is worrying him alot. Each time he spends more time on that ...
A. 25 September 2007: You're not weak. It is your right being in a relationship that the relationship is respected, if he wishes to continue it. He's the one who seems sort of weak spirited. He's grown now, it's fine to worry and want to handle problems with family, but ... (read in full...)
How can I stop thinking about my ex and trying to break up his new relationship?
Q. I broke up with my ex for the 2nd time 3 months ago and recently felt like I really needed to be with him. But I found out he is dating. The person he is dating has more of everything then me and my ex does like to be taken cared of. I can't s...
A. 25 September 2007: Just realized he's moved on, and you need to as well. What hurts is holding on to something that deep down you know is not going to happen. Trying to break them up is inappropriate, and shows lack of wishing happiness for your ex. Let me ask you ... (read in full...)
I had to move, so my girlfriend said "she loves me, but can't anymore." Please help me!
Q. I wont bore you with the detail, but 5 months ago I came out of a relationship, or rather, I was thrown out of it by circumstance. I had to move away from this girl who I considered to be the love of my life. That may sound foolish, since she is my ...
A. 25 September 2007: It does hurt, we've all had circumstances where we'd been hurt by a relationship ending. All I can say is be strong, realize not just your side, but respect her side. Tell her you understand her reasons and respect her decision, and that you really ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 5 years, has he avoided to tell his parents because he's ashamed of me? We're from different cultures.
Q. I am a white female who has been dating an asian guy for 5 years since I was 16, we met in college and I love him very much. However he still has not told his parents about me I always ask and he says he will tell them but he still hasnt, and im ...
A. 25 September 2007: Ask him. We could get so many answers if we'd only open our mouths and ask the questions we want to know. All though it's important to have good relationships with family, in this case, he needs to set that aside. His family hasn't dated you for ... (read in full...)
Want to be with my ex but he is dating a very rich person now, how do I compete with this?
Q. I want to be with my ex but he is going out with a very rich person now. How can I compete with this? My ex has always seemed like someone who is looking to be taken cared of but knows the value of work. I'm not poor but I have struggled now and ...
A. 25 September 2007: First, no competing. If she's looking for someone to just take care of her, that's something you can't change. Why would you want to. I want to be in a relationship because of love, not because I have money, nice house, nice cars, etc. Those are ... (read in full...)
Since splitting with my girlfriend my relationship with my dad is going south! Help!
Q. 8 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me, and since then, the relationship, mainly with my dad, has been going south. i thought it would get better over time, but its not. im now getting so fed up with them that i can barely be home for a few ...
A. 25 September 2007: First, It sounds as if you may need to seek counseling. You need to do that to help you arrange your thoughts, And who you are. Are these relationships getting worse because you're still taking the breakup hard?
The piece of advise I have for... (read in full...)
If you lose all respect for a human being which you are to share your life with, is it even conceivable that you can ever respect the person again?
Q. Hope someone can give advice. Fairly recently my husband was caught redhanded cheating. I have been struggling understandibly with all the emotions involved when this happens. He has also done all the expected things - begging for forgiveness, ...
A. 25 September 2007: Let's see, how can he repair this? He can't, it's your behavior, you're the one who doesn't respect him, so that part you would have to work on.
There is no excuse for cheating, and I do not call it a behavior either. Cheating is a choice. ... (read in full...)
Having sex and not losing virginity?
Q. is there a way to have sex and not losing virginity? What does sex from the back means? is oral sex dangerous? ...
A. 25 September 2007: penetration = good bye virginity. I guess dreaming about it may be safe, but once a guy penetrates, no more virgin.
oral sex can be dangerous, depends, you have a cut in your mouth, your partner has a std, i guess there's a possibility of exchangi... (read in full...)
I know its wrong, (shes my teacher!)but I am going to win her back!
Q. I know we did wrong but please help me get her back, im 16 now! I cant stop thinking about this teacher. Me n my teacher got on really well then one day we kissed. From then on we kept seeing each other n planned to meet out of school but that ...
A. 25 September 2007: No, we do know, it's you who does not. If you had the answers you wouldn't be on here asking the questions in the first place. She's married, she chose to be married and to the person she's married to. No one chose it for her, people marry because ... (read in full...)
She wouldnt have sex with me for 2 years yet now we have split she has had sex with someone new.She tells me to go have fun. Is she manipulating me?
Q. Hey, about 2 months ago my girlfriend broke up with my after 2 years. I'm 18 and she is 20, and it was both of our first serious relationship. We only argued in the last few months, and it was over worthless things. We never had sex, because she ...
A. 24 September 2007: Now first, by reading your comments, you are a nice person, a little bit too nice I think when stressing your feelings with her. The next time you talk to her, Here's what I would say, if I was in your shoes:
"So let me get this strait, you thin... (read in full...)
I'm drowning and seriously in need of some good advice!
Q. Ok the short version of this...i am 22 years old... i have been dating this guy for about a year now. we live together but there are some issues...we both have mental issues (depression and stuff liek that) so that alone puts stress on our ...
A. 24 September 2007: There's always hope, but there really has to be some serious changes made on both ends. You both need to stop treating each other with control and disrespect.
You both have had relationships in the past which were not too good. You now have a chan... (read in full...)
She wouldnt have sex with me for 2 years yet now we have split she has had sex with someone new.She tells me to go have fun. Is she manipulating me?
Q. Hey, about 2 months ago my girlfriend broke up with my after 2 years. I'm 18 and she is 20, and it was both of our first serious relationship. We only argued in the last few months, and it was over worthless things. We never had sex, because she ...
A. 24 September 2007: Your story almost sounds like a song I'm recording. It's called "If I wasn't good enough for you then, I sure and the hell ain't now" Move on, I don't know what your beliefs are, and what behaviors you'd accept, but I believe if her idea of having ... (read in full...)
My wife and I have become incredibly attached to each other! We don't want this to cause us problems - what can we do?
Q. Right some of you may say this isn't all that bigger problem but its getting in the way of things. Well me and my wife have been together since we were 16,known each other all throughout school and been married 7 years. Just recently though we have ...
A. 24 September 2007: This is so great, but you have to set your limits. I know its wonderful getting to see each other more often and do more things. Remember, it's not the amount of time you get to spend it's what you do with the time you have.
This behavior is norm... (read in full...)
How do I get things with my wife back the way that they used to be?
Q. hi people . well here it goes ive been married for 13 years now i married at 16 to the girl i love with all my heart. i dont really wana go into it to much right now it will take me all day.but i left my wife a couple of times this is because i fel...
A. 24 September 2007: You're going to have to have a serious talk with her. Remind her of how things use to be. Behaviors change so slight, it's hard to catch the differences until it gets to this point. What happens is slowly what we use to do, we don't anymore, then ... (read in full...)
I'm drowning and seriously in need of some good advice!
Q. Ok the short version of this...i am 22 years old... i have been dating this guy for about a year now. we live together but there are some issues...we both have mental issues (depression and stuff liek that) so that alone puts stress on our ...
A. 24 September 2007: Cheating is a choice. Don't let anyone give you any other excuse. I've heard so many. A girl I know walked in while a girl was going down on her husband, his reasoning "oh honey, it's not what it looks like." The funniest one I heard was where he ... (read in full...)
Might I have a chance later?
Q. hi all, I have decided to bite the bullet and not see him anymore! Im kinda sad about this as he was a huge part of my life for two and a half years! I really need to get on with it and I just dont see friendship with him as something I woul...
A. 24 September 2007: You're not half way there getting over them. People we love, we never get over, we just don't think of them as often.
I want you to look at this as a positive experience. Use this knowledge of your relationship to benefit future ones. You know what... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should go with this guy for my first time?
Q. my best friend lost her virginity in a 1 night stand and hasnt seen him since or even tried to see him, i met him a few weeks later and i now really like him iv tried tellin my friend how i feel and she sed just go for it but shoud i go for it is it ...
A. 24 September 2007: I would have to say NOOOO!!!!!!!!! He sounds like he would be one of those boys who gets you to like him until you're no longer a virgin, then he will no longer have anything to do with you.
Make your decision with a great amount of thought. I woul... (read in full...)
I know its wrong, (shes my teacher!)but I am going to win her back!
Q. I know we did wrong but please help me get her back, im 16 now! I cant stop thinking about this teacher. Me n my teacher got on really well then one day we kissed. From then on we kept seeing each other n planned to meet out of school but that ...
A. 24 September 2007: If she is married now, she's more than likely not looking for anything serious past her marriage.... (read in full...)
Might I have a chance later?
Q. hi all, I have decided to bite the bullet and not see him anymore! Im kinda sad about this as he was a huge part of my life for two and a half years! I really need to get on with it and I just dont see friendship with him as something I woul...
A. 24 September 2007: You are asking this a half an hour after you've dumped him. If you feel so strong about him, and that he's your sole mate, why dump him in the first place.
Your second chance you'd really have to discuss with him. We don't know about how he feel... (read in full...)
I'm drowning and seriously in need of some good advice!
Q. Ok the short version of this...i am 22 years old... i have been dating this guy for about a year now. we live together but there are some issues...we both have mental issues (depression and stuff liek that) so that alone puts stress on our ...
A. 23 September 2007: Honestly if it was me I'd break it off. Neither one of you are ready for this relationship, and especially not to expect it to get better. You should never be controlled. He has not right to dictate what you can do and what you can't. Relationships ... (read in full...)
20 and never kissed a girl. I'm always told to "be myself," advice, please?
Q. i'm 20, I am a confident person, I'm nice and I have a sense of humour. How many girlfriends have I had - 0. How many have I asked out - 7 I think. I have never kissed a girl let alone had sex and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. One girl sai...
A. 22 September 2007: Just be yourself. The best advise you can be given. The reason is, if they know who they are getting involved with, theirs no room for misleading. Don't use corny pick up lines. I read a survey about 5 years ago, on pick up lines. The one that was ... (read in full...)
She's left me, and I'm not sure I believe her reasons why.
Q. She's left me, and I'm not sure I believe her reasons why. She told me it's because she was going away to study and didn't want to "drag out something she didn't think would work". We were together for a year, she was my first love, and it feels ...
A. 22 September 2007: it is normal to feel that way. what we aren't able to do is prompt the decision of others. they have their minds, their reasons, and their decisions. sometimes those decisions affect others, but we have to respect them.
I'd just give her some time... (read in full...)
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