I don't have what it takes to keep this marriage going...
Q. Hello all. I really need some help on this. My husband and I have been together about 12 years. We have been married for 8. I am 29 years old and my husbamd is 32. I am going to try and cut to the short version but this is still going to be kind ...
A. 25 September 2009: Its sounds as though you have both lost your direction and the reason you both got together in the first place. You say your not affectionate..why is that? And why does your husband keep looking elsewhere? I think counselling is an excell... (read in full...)
Pregnant, not ready for a child but cannot have an abortion either
Q. Help me!!!!! Idk what to do. I skipped my period last month so I took a pregnancy test yesterday and it came back positive I'm gonna get myself two other test just to make sure its not wrong but I'm so scared. I'm only 20 and me and my fiancee arnt ...
A. 9 September 2009: You sound scared..but you know the option you are going to take is to keep the baby..you have only just found out which has come as a shock..you might not be ready, but whether you are ready or not you are pregnant,you're in a stable relationship ... (read in full...)
Stress causing boyfriend to smoke and I don't like it!
Q. My boyfriend has recently taken up the habit of smoking. I know that he's under a lot of stress in college. His mother and nearly entire family smokes, so he's pretty used to the concept. Here’s the big points: I have a breathing disability. Ciga...
A. 9 September 2009: Hi...I have never smoked in my life, I hate the smell and I hate the dangers that come with this dirty habit and like you I have a breathing problem ,asthma.But my boyfriend smokes and its a hard habit to break,he doesn't smoke around me and when he ... (read in full...)
Is is common in a relationship to not have balance?
Q. my current boyfriend said this to me in a fight "You don't care for me as much as i care you you, why can'y you return the feelings i give to you" When he says this I defend myself asking on what basis does he use to judge how much I love him. It's ...
A. 9 September 2009: Ermmm...well the more one party is clingy the odds are the other one will push them away..you said you were the clingy one in your last relationship...and to be honest it's not a good feeling,it leaves you feeling a bit needy and lowers your self ... (read in full...)
Is is ever ok to cheat?
Q. Ok, so I know it is wrong, but I am asking anyway....Is it ever ok to cheat. I am in a relationship, and have been for the past 6 years. The man I am cheating with is also in a relationship, for the past 3 years. We are together because it is ...
A. 9 September 2009: Personally I don't think it is, because your deceiving and lying to two other people. You both choose to be with your current partners so if your no getting what you want out of your relationships I feel its fairer to finish those first.
It mi... (read in full...)
How can I be confident again and make my dreams come true?
Q. Over the past few weeks I have been feeling really emotional due to the fact that I feel worthless and as though I have nothing in life. I am coming up 19 years old and have nothing to show for it. I went to college for two years but now I have ...
A. 4 September 2009: Hi there I think everbody reaches this point in life when your turning nineteen and trying to work out what you want from life and where things are leading. Don't despair. what did you learn at college? could this possibly determine what you... (read in full...)
Wife goes bi to straight... now I'm lost.
Q. I am married. and yet i find myself wondering about other woman. I have these fantasies i guess you could call them, and my wife isnt able to make them happen. She doesnt fit the act. What should i do? Before we got married, we talked of having a ...
A. 2 September 2009: Well if you put it that way 'the same vagina' maybe you shouldn't have got married...but on the flip side your also thinking that way because your own relationship is stuck in a bit of a rut sexually, so you really need to spice things up in the ... (read in full...)
I love everything about him, except that he drinks too much!
Q. hi i've been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for nearly two years and i love almost everything about him apart from the fact that i think he drinks way too much. He says he's not an alcoholic and could stop if he wanted to but he does...
A. 1 September 2009: Really the main question is why does he feel the need to drink so much every night? Is he feeling depressed or anxious about anything?
How about suggesting doing something together a couple of nights a week, taking him away from this little r... (read in full...)
I love everything about him, except that he drinks too much!
Q. hi i've been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for nearly two years and i love almost everything about him apart from the fact that i think he drinks way too much. He says he's not an alcoholic and could stop if he wanted to but he does...
A. 1 September 2009: Really the main question is why does he fee the need to drink so much every night? I... (read in full...)
Embarrassed that I have to be tested for an STD again!
Q. I need to go for an STI check-up as I stupidly participated in drunken fore play with someone who I don't know that well. I have been disagnosed with an STI before (my ex-boyfriend cheated on me) and I'm just worried about the reaction of the people ...
A. 1 September 2009: Don't be embarrassed your doing the right thing by getting checked out, nobody will judge you.
You're being sensible and taking responsibility for your actions and making sure you're safe, so just look at it that way,the people who don't get chec... (read in full...)
She never calls me and I feel stupid calling her!
Q. I,ve been dating this girl for some months now and we do call each other but recently she does'nt call i've always been d one calling her,and anytime i call and ask her why she did'nt call,she always apologise.without telling me why.i am scared of ...
A. 1 September 2009: Well if you havent called for two weeks abd she hsn't tried to make contact with you then I,m afraid I wouldn't waste my energies worrying over her anymore and let her make you feel bad like this. You seem a nice guy and my advice to you is move o... (read in full...)
How to keep the fire going in a long distance relationship?
Q. I recently got transferred to another country and find myself now in a long distance relationship. This is the 3rd month. We get to see each other twice a month. He does come at least once a month to see me. We cant do better than that cos its ...
A. 31 August 2009: Send cards, write letters, emails and texts, webcam, just make sure you both know that you love,care and are thinking of each other. It is really hard being in a long distance relationship, the main issue is trust, so make sure this is never an ... (read in full...)
Why the hell would my boyfriends dad send me 7 friend requests on Facebook?!!
Q. I'm 24, been living with my boyfriend for 5 months now, been together for 5 years. I was checking my Facebook profile the other day when I was surprised to get 7 friend requests from my boyfriend's dad! Why would anyone need 7 Facebook acc...
A. 31 August 2009: Nothing what's the big deal, just ignore them if he wants seven accounts that his business.
Your boyfriend knows and he doesnt seem overly alarmed so I'd just ignore it if you get anymore request from him.
... (read in full...)
Someone told me my boyfriend is having a gay affair and I think its true!
Q. My mate and I been together for five years. We were both virgins starting out in our realtionship. Within these five years I have yet to experince an orgasm. Well recently I received a email from a guy claiming him and my boyfriend have been hav...
A. 31 August 2009: I am afraid all the things you say point to the fact he is lying to you. I feel if you have a gut feeling its alway right plus it's pretty much been confimed to you after ringing that guy.
I know its hard facing up to the fact that he could hu... (read in full...)
Has my cheating ex changed?
Q. Has my cheating ex changed? I was with my ex Sam for 10 years, we lived together for 7 and had two children together. The problems started right from the beginning when he cheated on me when i was pregnant with my first child. He told me when he ...
A. 30 August 2009: Definately give yourself time and date other people, if he had cheated once maybe, but he has cheated numerous times and you gave hime a second chance the first time around, its so hard to get over someone cheating on you especially when children ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sweet and caring, but he really ogles other women!
Q. My boyfriend is genuinely sweet and caring, but when it comes to looking at other girls he makes me feel really uncomfortable. The last episode was yesterday when we were on the train and he saw this girl sitting with her boyfriend in a short skirt. ...
A. 30 August 2009: All men do this, well 99.9% do....dont worry and dont be hurt, at least he's just looking .right Take care linz (:... (read in full...)
Ideas for our three month anniversary
Q. My girlfriend and I are approacing our 3 months tomorrow, and these 'milestones' so to say are important to us. I was wondering what I could to to show that it means alot to me if I cant see her because of school and the like. For our 2 month I ...
A. 30 August 2009: How about writing her a letter, people never use this form of communication enough, its really personal and special. Use some nice stationary and it will be something she can read over and over again and keep forever. Love letters staight from... (read in full...)
Should I leave my ex a message to let him know I'm still thinking of him?
Q. i was with someone for over 3 years...rather than rehash all the tiny things that made me insecure, jealous, just didn't feel right etc...i can admit i was wrong on some of those things and reacted too jealous at times and should have been more ...
A. 29 August 2009: Hi there, Just contact him as a friend,to see how he is? what he's been up to? you know he might have met somebody else so don't get your hopes up too high. I hope things work out for you, but if they don't at least you can be friends and keep ... (read in full...)
Should I borrow money from my boyfriend?
Q. Does anyone have an opinion about whether one should ever ask to borrow money from your bf, especially if it's a sensitive point? I am nearly broke and don't know if I can last till next paycheck. I can't ask family at this point, and have a...
A. 28 August 2009: Well as a rule of thumb I think your best option is to stop borrowing money ..full stop! you will have to sit down and make a list of your incoming's and outgoing's and be quite brutal only buy what you can afford and look for another job as soon as ... (read in full...)
Should I message him or not?
Q. ok this guy i like alot sort of went hot and cold when we went camping the weekend just gone. my friend has told me he said he can see a future with me and stuff which is really good and we've always had little moments. anyways camping he w...
A. 28 August 2009: I think you both like each other but are afraid to make the next move, soooooo I would wait till I see him again and ask him if he would like to come and see a film with you or go bowling or anything where just you and him have some time alone ... (read in full...)
I want to ask him what's going on but don't want an argument!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a year now and have a baby on the way but what worries me is the fact that this girl that he works with keeps messenging him on facebook and by text and the other day he swapped his car for hers and ...
A. 28 August 2009: Hi there Your pregnant with his child and he's messing around facebooking, texting and oddly swapping cars with this girl. Being pregnant sometimes makes you feel vunerable so why is he making you feel worse. Sit him down and say 'Look I r... (read in full...)
Girlfriend basically making me chose between her and my parents
Q. Hi, This is a difficult one and i really need some help and guidence. My girlfriend hates my parents so much she is letting it drive a wedge between us. She has hated my parents for a long time because she disapproves of the way they tre...
A. 28 August 2009: Ok...So I think this situations got very messy, you obviously love your girlfriend and I dont think you want to continue the arguments with your parents either. So don't give your girfriend ammunition to call your parents, that means stop moani... (read in full...)
Girlfriend basically making me chose between her and my parents
Q. Hi, This is a difficult one and i really need some help and guidence. My girlfriend hates my parents so much she is letting it drive a wedge between us. She has hated my parents for a long time because she disapproves of the way they tre...
A. 28 August 2009: What is wrong with your girlfriend, has she got some kind of issue or problems herself. I have been in a similar situation when I was your age where an ex boyfriend did exactly what your girlfriend is doing to you..using mind games and manipulating ... (read in full...)
We were cheating, I left my partner she hasn't left hers!
Q. We were cheating on our partners and we got caught I finished it with my partner because I felt like it was the rite thing to do. She wants me back but I only feel like I would hurt her again so I cant. She went back to him but she wont stop te...
A. 28 August 2009: Can't say I have massive sympathy for your plight you go into something knowing you had partners and knowing you were hurting other people with your actions and now after everything is public,things haven't gone the way you had wished.You've not ... (read in full...)
I want to leave my b/f but don't want him to be with someone else!
Q. Heres my story i want to leave my bf but i just dont want him being with someone els after me i feel like leaving him because he is the most selfish inconciderat loser i have ever meant he does nothing for me or our daughter i really need to leave ...
A. 28 August 2009: Oh well its seems to me your feelings have already gone as you wouldnt be thinking about finishing your relationship or calling him a loser. I think you should move on and to be truly honest would you be that bothered if he got someone else, you ... (read in full...)
I'm having problems with our sex life...what can I do?!
Q. [Mod note - both were from the same poster, so have combined both] Q1: I have been in this relationship for a few months now, and our life inside the bedroom is so drab. I am not even aroused any more. She will start to initiate and I quickly lo...
A. 28 August 2009: Be honest about how you're feeling, she knows something is the matter anyway if your not acting on her advances, this will make her feel really rejected and low causing her to have low self esteem...so how can you expect her to be jumping of the ... (read in full...)
He thinks I don't like him! Should I make the first move?
Q. Hey I need some quick advice because I want to know what i'm going to do! Please help I know it's long!! Okay so here's the deal I really like this guy that i've known all my life and he likes me back. A few weeks ago we kissed for the firs...
A. 27 August 2009: Just text him what have you to loose...see what he has to say in his text back and possibly arrange some date from there...If he doesn't return your text back then, hey you had fun while it lasted.. Take care, hope everything goes ok linz :)... (read in full...)
I feel really ashamed of myself.. how can I get over this event?
Q. Last weekend was the worst weekend of my life. I went to a concernt Friday and Saturday night (same band). I have been in contact with one of the crew guys and we were going to get together after the shows. Friday he ditched me, no biggy because ...
A. 27 August 2009: Hi firstly I would get a check up for STD's and hopefully you're on the pill as you will need to check that too...but I wouldn't feel cheap or bad or anything else, you probably knew this encounter wasn't really going to develop into a serious ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my girlfriend how I feel and get the spark back?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for around 6 months now and I love her to death, but we are exact opposites. I'm almost 6' tall and shes about 5' 2" maybe, I'm around 250 LBS and shes less than 100 LBS. I'm 16, shes 14. I listen to country, ...
A. 27 August 2009: Hi there Opposites attract you know..your at the 6 months period when the newness and first intial spark of a relationship fades...I think the best thing to do would be to write her a letter to tell her how your feeling...be honest in this l... (read in full...)
When should I give up on him?
Q. How do you know when to give up on someone? I've been kissing this guy who shows no sign of wanting a relationship and it drives me insane thinking he could be with someone else when I'm not around! What do I do?...
A. 27 August 2009: If he doesn't want a relationship and you do then I'm afraid you should look elsewhere, cool it with this guy and just stay friends. Why drive yourself insane worrying about a guy who doesn't even want a proper relationship with you...he's not worth ... (read in full...)
I love her, she doesn't love me, I'm desperate!
Q. She was my girl friend about 4 years back and now my very good friend. I love her more than words can say but I'm thinking of how 2 open up to her. I feel like she loves me but I don't want to tel her cos I don't want to lose her as my friend. ...
A. 27 August 2009: Hi I think you should open up to her and tell her how you as you will keep feeling this way. I honestly don't think you will loose her friendship if you do tell her how you feel. If she says she loves you then take it from there slowly if she says ... (read in full...)
I believe the other woman more than I believe my boyfriend!
Q. i found a girl's number in my bf phone. i asked who it was and he lied. couple days later i found out it was this same girl ive saw be4 on his page on the internet couple months ago. so i told him to call her and have a convo with her. ask her why ...
A. 25 August 2009: More than likely they did have sex, why would she lie she has nothing to loose..and why was he acting so funny when you asked him to phone her in front of you,it's up to you, you probably already know in your heart that he has. Its up to you whether ... (read in full...)
Deeply in love with a married man and at an impass
Q. Almost a year ago I met this man. I was married, (unhappily) He was in the same boat. We both have kids as well. We got together. Not only did we become physical but we were actually bestfriends and talk everyday, had drinks and did stuff together. ...
A. 25 August 2009: Erm to be honest it looks like he was perfectly happy to continue the sexual relationship and for you two just to meet and have fun which relieved the monotony of your everyday lifes with this little facade, but now that your wanting more and want ... (read in full...)
Why does a wife need to know every detail of her husband's affair?
Q. Why does the wife need to hear every detail of the affair to be able to move on. Husband has said, yes he had an affair and it's over now, why isn't that enough for the wife. Your opinion please....
A. 24 August 2009: Its natural...she'll want to know every burp and fart im afraid....you need to know,it kinda answers all these little silly questions and helps you move on...nothing to do with ammunition, its deeper than that, you,ve hurt her and if this helps her ... (read in full...)
Is he not happy with me? And if I am this insecure, should I be in the relationship at all?
Q. I'm going to give lots of detail so that I may get a more objective response... My fiancee (B) and I have known eachother for 13 years, but we've only been together for 10 months, engaged for 6. We had tried dating before, but long distance wa...
A. 24 August 2009: Oh my god woman you are going to drive yourself nuts...that little conversation he had with his ex wasnt bad and he said he was happy with u...so what, he has facebook, myspace etc etc...would you like him to live in a box and only let him out when ... (read in full...)
My wife has been cheating A LOT and I need her to open up to me...Any advice?
Q. Me and my wife have been married 9years.... in that 9years she has cheated on me 5times that i know of... out of the 5times i have decided too get a hold of one of the guys.... me being me i wanted too see what she was acting like.... come too find ...
A. 24 August 2009: She is using you as a doormat love, continually cheating on you and making you feel worthless and pathetic, it's an awful predicament to live in. I would tell her you can no longer be treated like this and leave, taking the children with you. You ... (read in full...)
Dated many guys and its always the same thing
Q. Hey I have separated from my husband over an year and I have been dated many guys and the more guys I met moreI realise I will end up alone, so I need your help to know ig the problem is with me or it is just the way things are. I am lost. I...
A. 24 August 2009: Why is the big emphasise on sex..don't go out looking for a sexual relationship..go out and look for a man who treats you with respect and shows some real emotion. You say 'they' want different position and ' they' want you to dress up. What do they ... (read in full...)
I snooped around into my girlfriends accounts, and found that she had been talking to another guy in secret; and even met him!! How can I confront her about this?
Q. So... I've been with my GF for nearly two years. We've had a lot of fun, and our relationship has always been very fair and loving, despite some rough patches involving money (being out of work mainly). We've lived together for about half this ...
A. 24 August 2009: Just say are you happy with me??? Because you noticed her mind seemed elsewhere lately and although you know it was wrong to pry...but you had found out she had met another guy? To be honest she might be as sweet as sugar and look as if butter ... (read in full...)
Wife left to visit parents across the country and won't return! How to convince her to come back until we can both move away?
Q. Hi, sorry for the long message, question is actually quite short, but needs the background to properly understand: I need advice / help on how to keep my marriage from falling apart. Some background info: my wife and I have been married for 6 ...
A. 24 August 2009: Erm short the answer is no...she wont come back, i think your best solution is as said before stay with her family, look for a job whilst you're their and you will be able to give your full committment to your job hunting and wont be stressing over ... (read in full...)
Don't want it to end, but scared I am no longer 'in' love
Q. I have been with my fiancé for eight years now. I was madly in love with him and I still do love him but I am scared I am no longer 'in' love with him. I have to make a decision about what to do. We have always had hard things to deal with. He...
A. 24 August 2009: Well its difficult, but you dont seem to be communcating your feelings with him,you really need to sit down and tell him what your telling us as he will just carry on ablivious to feelings and needs.You mentioned he suffered from health problems and ... (read in full...)
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