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... Send *elisha Marie a private message | | | *elisha Marie's profile: Is this pain and inner emotional horror you're going through just a figment of your subconscious, or just a step towards the sturdy plateau of your success and happiness? We've all been through a swamp or two and came out sticky, but we all have to realize that with true belief in yourself, and getting in touch with who you are can clean any slate.
Im a single, young woman who's had quite a range of experiences in too many variations of relationships, most weren't healthy, but I can say I've learned to really read people and how to pass on my knowledge-hopefully for the better!! |
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The abuse in my past left me associating sex with pain and fear
Q. Hi everyone - I have a bit of an awkward and very personal question...sorry if some of this is just TMI... I was sexually abused as a young child and raped on two different occassions when I was young. Now, I feel like I am completely ruine...
A. 14 August 2010: Sweety, first of all- you are not broken to have to fix. You maybe be damaged but it is not your fault, and does not define who you are. I understand all of these feelings. Don't b afraid to put yourself out there because it is not a scarlet ... (read in full...)
Having trouble deciding whether to settle down with him.
Q. I'm a teenager and I normally don't take my relationships to seriously. The last relationship I was in lasted for about two and a half months. Unfortunatly I got really attatched to him!!! On the fourth of July he told me that his parents were ...
A. 3 August 2010: I don't think age is exactly the thing to prosecute here. I will say, you are showing maturity on your part be having the realization that you need some assistance making a tough decision like this at especially a young age.
My dear, my firs... (read in full...)
I want to be more popular at college, how can I do this?
Q. I want to be popular at college and likeable. I don't talk much. I want people to notice me and most importantly like me. I feel like I get pushed around by friends and listen to everything they tell me to do. I want to show them that I am in ...
A. 28 March 2010: Well, darlin? Don't be so apt to pleasing everyone else in your life, if you start this habit early, in about 5-10 years you'll be sorry. You attending college for you, Im assuming. Why are you so concerned about eveyone else?
First off, i wi... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of my 'easy' label?
Q. When I was 13, I became sexually active with my brother's 18 yr old friend. He didn't force me but he did presure me and say things like if I loved him I would do it. Since then I have been sexually active with several guys. I always go out on ...
A. 5 October 2009: Stop improvising your feelings. Babe, Ive been there, alot of us have. You dont wanna be labeled that? Have more head sense and stand up, grab yourself by the bootstraps, grow some balls, and tell them boys to shove it. Also a good word to use is, ... (read in full...)
Confused about first time sex
Q. Ok, so i'm just going to get this out there, in my high school everyone has either lost thier virginity in 9th or won't until marrige. and i absolutely LOVE my boyfriend, we've been togethe so much its probably not healthy but i love it : ). now, ...
A. 29 September 2009: First, Im sure you've heard this but think about what you're doing, every perspective, if what you're are doing absolutely right for you, and the two of you. Are you sure that he's in this for you, and 'the rest of his life with you', or just like ... (read in full...)
Black discharge? Could it be a side effect of the morning after pill?
Q. I'm due my period on the 9th. But i'm currently getting a very dark brown/black discharge coming out of me like a thin period. I've never had this sort of thing before, only AFTER a period, never before. What could this be? I had unprotected sex ...
A. 29 September 2009: That color usually just means blood that's been in your uterus for awhile, usually no biggie, but if you are worried and feel the need to go get it checked, by all means do! It shouldn't be a side affect of the morning after pill, and for your ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife the truth that I don't find her sexy unless she is slim?
Q. Hi all. First time poster. I've been with my wife for 10 years and we have been married for 4 years and I love her very much. She is my best friend and we get along really well. Sure we have the odd argument but we normally talk things through ...
A. 26 September 2009: Good for you OP!!! That was a mature and very good thing to do, continue being there for her, support her, and show it dont just say it!
Good Luck with your relationship!!... (read in full...)
I don't like it shaved!
Q. I am what I think is a straight male. I however, cannot get aroused over a shaved pussy. There is nothing more repulsive than to see a five oclock shadow, stubble or worse, pimples! Now that ALL women shave and as I believe, we as a society are ...
A. 30 August 2009: Well, you're definately not straight because you're questioning it. I think you're too uptight really? How's your sex life, if I may ask? Loosen up and enjoy the pleasure more, be more appreciative of a women's...or man's body!... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife the truth that I don't find her sexy unless she is slim?
Q. Hi all. First time poster. I've been with my wife for 10 years and we have been married for 4 years and I love her very much. She is my best friend and we get along really well. Sure we have the odd argument but we normally talk things through ...
A. 30 August 2009: First of all bucko, women dont like being told there fat. Plain and simple. Yes, honesty is important in a relationship, buuut, there are some loop holes. We tell you guys you're good handy mans, but really we have the duct tape and DW 40, and our ... (read in full...)
Attracted to teacher way more than I should be
Q. I am 16, and I have always had an issue with falling for the wrong guy. I've never had an issue called 'True Love' until my freshmen year when I fell for a jr, ever since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about him even though I moved aw...
A. 29 August 2009: It is very normal, we've all been there. The important thing is to just slow down, concentrate on school work and not to get too hyped on and take this infatuation too far. And it appears to me, you already have the answer, you are looking for ... (read in full...)
Attracted to teacher way more than I should be
Q. I am 16, and I have always had an issue with falling for the wrong guy. I've never had an issue called 'True Love' until my freshmen year when I fell for a jr, ever since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about him even though I moved aw...
A. 29 August 2009: You seem like you already have your mind set, you don't want help. Why did you post this question? I believe you are confused on the boundaries of infatuation and love, you said in the beginning of this that you dont love him, but by the end my ... (read in full...)
Is 19 too young to want a baby?
Q. Well.. ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and i love him more than anything. ive recently started a new job where the majority of the girls are either just married, engagaged or pregnant so all the office talk is ...
A. 28 August 2009: Well Darlin, it aint really the age, it's how prepared you are. In your best interest because she's been there your mother may be right. Never the less, you are an adult and you make your own decisions. But, in the best interest of your child you ... (read in full...)
What can my friend do legally with unfaithful husband?
Q. I have a friend that is being married for about 30 years, she recently find that her husband was cheating her with her roommate. She never found them but this lady became pregnant. Everybody outside said that this kid was from her husband but they ...
A. 28 August 2009: They're headed for the big D and dont mean Dallas. Divorce honey, once a cheater always a cheater. good luck.... (read in full...)
I have never actually kissed anybody, but I told her I had! Help!
Q. Hi there heres my situation: i really like this girl and we met through a mate and we have seen each other and like gone to the cinema and that like i think its about 5 times now and we are always texting each other and the other day she said she...
A. 18 August 2009: Honey, Honey calm down, take a deep breath, relaxing is the best thing you can do while kissing. Just look at her for awhile, in the eyes, half way smile till she grins...slowly and calmly inch in towards her lips caress the back of her head and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend is very attractive...
Q. Been with my bf for 9 months and I love him so much. The problem is that I find his best friend extremely attractive and I find myself thinking about him all the time. I think he might find me attractive too because he always hangs out with me in ...
A. 12 August 2009: Quite a few people are attractive. When you're with someone in a committed relationship, why would this be an issue? Desiring his best friend is the same as saying that you're not in love with your boyfriend, and that he could be replaceable by this ... (read in full...)
Desperately in need of some sound advice, one-on-one
Q. I have an incredible amount of confusion going round in my head at the moment and its driving me crazy, like I just really need to talk some things through with anyone that will listen, but all my friends see me as the easy going one, like I dn't ...
A. 10 August 2009: You can send me a private message if you'd like, Id be more than willing to listen and help with whatever you need babe ;) ... (read in full...)
How have other women overcome the constant abuse of their man?
Q. I have put up with my husbands abuse for too many years and have asked him to leave. Now he is refusing and seems hellbent to bring me down to his level by psycological tactics eg starting arguments before I go to work being rude to my friends ...
A. 10 August 2009: Overcoming abuse? Over-riding their stupidity. You have to hold your head high and remind yourself that your are a strong independent woman, and nobody should be treated that way. Especially if they're supposed to be in love. If you've had failed ... (read in full...)
I woke up to find my boyfriend having sex with me, could this be considered rape?
Q. I hope you can help! I woke up the other night to find by boyfriend having sex with me. He said that i had touched him and he thought I wanted sex. I feel used and hurt. Was this rape or am I being stupid? ...
A. 9 August 2009: I dont believe this may be rape, but how close are you to this boyfriend, how long have ya'll been in a relationship. It could have been considered a 'sensual' way to wake you up. Have you taled about this with him really. Exressed your discomfort ... (read in full...)
I've lost my ability to love please help!
Q. okay so once long time ago there was a 14 year old girl who loved everything! now she got hurt so much by a guy that she cant love anymore.. she let him go but the pain remains.. long story short.. she dosent love anyone not even her family! wh...
A. 6 August 2009: Honey take a deep breath. You may be also asking yourself what exactly is love? Love, is a conscious decision made by any person. You can CHOOSE to love your Mother, Father, Grandparents siblings and other family. You are supposed to always love you ... (read in full...)
Where do you draw the line with a drug addict?
Q. My son is a drugaddict, We tried to help him several times, but he is always back, where he started. We, love him so much, he was a great kid, but nw he is 25 , and drugabuse ruins his life ,so ours. We tried and tried , rehab, living together ...
A. 5 August 2009: I understand that this is a very hard thing to do, watch your son fall to pieces and still throw a line out to him. I also know what you're going through. Growing up my father was a 24/7 alcoholic. Didn't have a life at all. He was drunk all the ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 4 August 2009: I have NEVER once called her a whore, Never once tried accusing her of anything but being in an unhealthy environment, and yes, she may have made some wrong decisions. She's only a child!! noonespecial had it right, No means NO, whether it happened ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 4 August 2009: Great now that we've got the masculinist pessimist out of here, maybe some issues can be resolved. I have alot of feeling towards this site, and care about bettering people in need. So it hurts me when the things I try and do get thrown back in my ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 4 August 2009: Ok, where to start? Ah ha, q1605 just what exactly do you think of me, and what is there to talk about little old me, have you not forgotten our main purpose on this site? I do beleieve the intentions were for any volunteers to pull together in a ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 3 August 2009: Let's not be stereotypical here, many guys have a desire to express their inner troubles and issues. True, many of them dont as well. I just happen to not think that we should not ask of personal information, not only for use of our knowledge of ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 3 August 2009: Since when did this become a 'dig in to personal information' site? Young man, i think you have the best of intentions for your girlfriend, and caring should never be considered a burden on your part. Explain to her how you feel about her, the ... (read in full...)
I can't deal with the affair I'm having with my teacher knowing I will lose him one day
Q. Am in emotional turmoil. Please don't pass moral judgment on me because I know that I will seem wrong. I lost my virginity the other day to my married former teacher. We have the most intense, intimate, amazing friendship I know I will ever expe...
A. 2 August 2009: There is something you can do about your dearest friend, patch up the past to make the stiching of your future stronger. And if you are so head-on about you and your affair with this married man, then you need to tell him to tell his wife and make a ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 2 August 2009: No, those 3 more years could be the longest of her life. And you mentioned her Mother, I thought she lived with grandparents. Where is the Mom in this picture, and the Father? I understand your want and longing to help her, and it's the right thing ... (read in full...)
How do I forgive my wife for being a prostitute?
Q. We have now been married for 7 months. I met her at a bar and we started dating. She is a very good looking girl and 26 years old. Im 25 and hansome. I feel for her very quickly and we got married in 4 months. When we were dating i asked her what ...
A. 2 August 2009: You're last question is true, rhetorical and very true. But, let me break some things to you. One, ya'll met in a bar. Two, married after 4 months, only been together for 7. Don't you think you should have spent a little more time getting to know ... (read in full...)
I can't deal with the affair I'm having with my teacher knowing I will lose him one day
Q. Am in emotional turmoil. Please don't pass moral judgment on me because I know that I will seem wrong. I lost my virginity the other day to my married former teacher. We have the most intense, intimate, amazing friendship I know I will ever expe...
A. 1 August 2009: You are so, so young, you do not yet know or can even fathom what lies ahead of you. None of us do. I realize that what you think you may have with this man is something you see as special, but let me break it down for you from personal experience. ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 1 August 2009: Grandparents like that don't deserve somethig as special as a growing child. Some action needs to be taken, and Im sure even if you have no proof, just word of mouth, they will investigate and find somethin out. And that girl is old enough to look ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 1 August 2009: For one, young man, under law if you and your girlfriend engage in any sexual activity it would be considered as statutory rape, so I would hope you are posting this with intent to help your girlfriend instaed of just trying to get an answer to ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my teacher to back off?
Q. Im concerned that my drama teacher likes me in a kinda wrong way. I like her too but it'd wrong to have a relationship with her. Shes about 24 and shes all ways making inuendo with me. Started off as some good ol' fashioned crudeness now its just ...
A. 23 July 2009: Well, ill or not, she knows that it's crossing the line of trust and should not go there. Tell her you cant so it, it's wrong. Don't apologize because you have Nothing to apologize for.... (read in full...)
My husband get angry, throws things and sometimes hits me, what should I do?
Q. hi there, ok my question is more of a long story that i need advice on my husband has this thing where i cant do anything right he will give me a list of things he wants done before he gets home and i will do my best to finish them but he never be...
A. 21 July 2009: Leave. I know it's hard because you think he 'loves' you, but honey, you have your whole life ahead of you. Are you really going to settle with this controlling, violent man? He evidently has no intentions of changing, you dont need that, you sound ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my teacher to back off?
Q. Im concerned that my drama teacher likes me in a kinda wrong way. I like her too but it'd wrong to have a relationship with her. Shes about 24 and shes all ways making inuendo with me. Started off as some good ol' fashioned crudeness now its just ...
A. 21 July 2009: Blatantly tell her, "No"... Explain to her you like her as a teacher, but she is crossing the professional border, and the legal border. You are a minor, she as an adult knows that and should know the consequences of crossing that boundary. Your ... (read in full...)
I don't want to give up my dream but I am so very discouraged!
Q. Music is something I love more than anything else in the world. I haven't given up my dream of being a professional musician, but right now I am feeling so discouraged that I'm beginning to wonder if I'm crazy for not having given up. I'm...
A. 19 July 2009: No matter what, you cant let anybody else discourage you. It's when you get to discouraging yourself is where th problem is. If music is where your heart is, then follow it, believing in not only yourself but your musical abilities. You cant ... (read in full...)
I'm only 22, but feel like I'm living the life of a 60 year old!
Q. I have a bad social life. There are so man reasons for this, No money, flaky unsincere friends, my no-bf situation, spending the last year of my life in th books studying for my degree that now that I am finished and want to go out and have fun...
A. 19 July 2009: Well, you can't change what others do. If you think you're a good friend, a good person, then it's their loss, right? In my personal opinion...since when do you need a crowd to have fun? If you're only 22, and fun, get out there and do it. Nothing ... (read in full...)
Does first time sex...hurt?
Q. Does sex hurt when you lose your virginity?...
A. 18 July 2009: It varies with each person. Usually there is some pain involved when your hymen is being broke by your partner, but afterwards the pain usually fades away with time. Your age, Im not advising you to become sexually active, but you do need to be ... (read in full...)
Real love? How do you know?
Q. How do you know if you are in love?...
A. 18 July 2009: Well...you can't tell if you are 'in love', Love is not some place to be, it is a fully conscious decision you make by yourself. youi choose to love the one you are with...unconditionally and with with your full heart. It's not something you can ... (read in full...)
When I get close to him I get frightened! How do I have sex with him?
Q. ok well i am goin out wit this guy and yes i wanna have sex so dose he but Idk how to go about it im in my childhood i was bein touch unwillingly and now it seems if i get so close to him i start to breath heavy and get frightened please help me a ...
A. 13 July 2009: Try to do exercises with your mind on putting the image you have in your head when the person in the past 'touched' you, to where it doesnt seem so scary. Look at it as you were a kid, even though you are still a child, you are more mature, correct? ... (read in full...)
My wife just can't see past herself and she's jealous of the bond I have with my son.
Q. I have been married to my wife for not quite 8 years. We have a wonderful 5 year old son who means everything to us. My wife used to be a designer in a large town. about 6 years ago, we decided to pick up and move north 3 hours to a small town to ...
A. 13 July 2009: Well, although I do believe in working things out, you can't keep on expecting better when there's no sign of any sort of better coming in. And when in a relationship, you shouldn't search for your own happiness at the expense of your child. We all ... (read in full...)
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