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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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She won't cut him off completly and I feel like I am going to get hurt in the end. Am I wrong for asking her to stop talking to him?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma, I love my girl but we have had problems in the past. I don't think she feels we can get passed it and I think she has feelings for another. It started as a long distance relationship 6 years ago, I live in England, she ...
A. 10 September 2007: No you're not wrong. It's normal the way you feel. You need to let her know how you feel, but in a constructive way. Tell her you're hurt by her contact with this person. Their relationship is over and she's in one with you. Find out how much she ... (read in full...)
He resents me going out in the day and my friends all say he is being unreasonable!!
Q. Hiya everyone !, Im writin for some advice because for the past 6 weeks my 3 children have been off school for the summer holidays, and i also have my nephew during the school holidays so i've been stuck in the house most days. I have been really ...
A. 10 September 2007: This advise in an in general relationship advise. No body had the right to dictate to someone else what to do, and where to spend there time. A relationship is two people "choosing" to spend time together because it benefits them, and they want to ... (read in full...)
Should I trust my wife after she kept this from me??
Q. I've been with my wife since I was 19 and she was 18. We went to high school together and have a loving marriage of 15 years. Prior to our getting together ( a few weeks) she hooked up with another high school friend and I suspected they had had ...
A. 10 September 2007: It does hurt. I call being taken advantage of rape too. If the one person isn't in their right mind to consent, and the other person takes advantage of that situation. If they would have said no, in their right mind, theirs not a big different. A... (read in full...)
Should I trust my wife after she kept this from me??
Q. I've been with my wife since I was 19 and she was 18. We went to high school together and have a loving marriage of 15 years. Prior to our getting together ( a few weeks) she hooked up with another high school friend and I suspected they had had ...
A. 9 September 2007: It's been 20 years. During the marriage, if she hasn't given you reason too, don't loose the trust over this. Something like that happened when I was young too, with my girlfriend. She was taken advantage of. I detested the guy who did that.
L... (read in full...)
Dazed and Confused! Please help!
Q. I left the father of my son and partner of 6yrs for my childhood sweetheart who after 3 months broke my heart for the second time. I then went on to find myself a new man, which I might add is totally in love with me and I love him to bits, minus ...
A. 9 September 2007: You don't and won't. My first is unfortunately best friends now with my ex-wife. That was interesting when I was being questioned about that experience. Your first time will always be a big part of who you are. There's not many times you get to ... (read in full...)
Dazed and Confused! Please help!
Q. I left the father of my son and partner of 6yrs for my childhood sweetheart who after 3 months broke my heart for the second time. I then went on to find myself a new man, which I might add is totally in love with me and I love him to bits, minus ...
A. 9 September 2007: If it was me you're referring too, what I mean is this: History repeats its self when it comes to behaviors people have. If he broke your heart two times before, he will do it again. He's not worth your time. He hurt you and it looks as if he's OK ... (read in full...)
My ex has just got married but I'm still not over him! How can I move on?
Q. please help, am suffering from a traumatic break-up. its eating away at my soul and i feel like ending it all. i broke up with a guy 9 months ago when i found out he had a serious relatinship he was hiding from me, we went out for 3 months but those ...
A. 9 September 2007: Is it that your really afraid to sleep at another home, or is it that you feel comfortable, safe and secure at your own? Have you experienced any other trauma other than this breakup? You were betrayed and it's OK to feel hurt and angry because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is abusive and I have no family to turn to. I'm also pregnant. What can I do?
Q. hello everyone, i am hoping some one can help me iam in a abusive relationship he beats me bad and i love my boy friend i am pregnant 6 months with hes child and i have a 2 year old also hes we have been together 5 years no mater what ...
A. 9 September 2007: You need to get out of there, and don't wait. With him being on drugs, you may need to have the assistance of the authorities. I know that's hard, but some on drugs are really unstable with their behavior. Call your local police department and let ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my girlfriend. I feel real guilty. How can I get her trust back?
Q. i cheated on my GF the other day, but i still love her alot! i was just rubbing this girls thigh (not in her pants) but my GF freaked when i told her, and shes a wreck. I feel soo bad and guilty, and even after she found out that it was above the ...
A. 9 September 2007: I'd ask her if the 45% is because of the action, or her assumption you were down her pants. At lease you didn't go any further with this person. You should both sit and talk about what happened, without getting mad or freaking out. If you were ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a break, but I'm worried he will split with me for good?
Q. My boyfriend and I (both in college) have been dating for about 7.5 months now. I've had other boyfriends before but he's the first one I've felt strongly about; strongly enough to tell him how I felt. Just lately, we've been drifting. So we decided ...
A. 9 September 2007: These questions are very difficult to answer. I don't know you, or what's going on with him. Initially I'd have you ask him what's really going on, in other words (who is she). But that may not be the correct assumption. At times people may need a ... (read in full...)
My ex was straight in bed with other women after we split. But says he still loves me. Why do people use sex to get over a relationship?
Q. I posted this the other night and got only 2 replies so i thought i would try at a different time of day to see if i can get more opinions... Do you think a man can love you if he sleeps with his ex within weeks of you splitting? And then meet...
A. 9 September 2007: I would say good bye to this person. Not all men do this. Some use sex as a way to forget, just as alcohol would help some, or for many women I always hear chocolate. They all take your mind off things. He could see sleeping with his ex as not a bi... (read in full...)
It's a lose-lose situation, with or without a condom
Q. i go soft during sex with a condom sometimes and without a condom i cum within seconds. any tips will be gratful...
A. 9 September 2007: Look up the term "hyper-focus" that may be your problem in finishing within seconds.... (read in full...)
My ex said I didnt give him enough sex. How do I deal with this in future relationships?
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for over three years and had an amazing sex life. We had sex atleast once a day if not more, but when he would get drunk and wanted to have sex he would be so ruff and demanding which was a complete turn off. ...
A. 9 September 2007: You're lucky he's your ex. It sounds as if he has controlling personality traits which really come out when drunk. You did nothing wrong. It's you body. A relationship DOES NOT give either person ownership over the actions of the other person. ... (read in full...)
Just before he's ready to "cum" he pulls out and finishes up himself. Why???
Q. I need a mans word on this. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. We have sex about 5 times a week and great sex, but just before he's ready to "cum" pardon the language, he pulls out and finishes up himself. We talked about ...
A. 9 September 2007: To some it does feel better to finish outside, instead of inside. It could be so there's no wet drainage on the sheets, especially if it's his side of the bed. I'd believe him if he says he likes it that way. If you like it internally, I'd ... (read in full...)
Why do people have wierd fetishes? How do they get started?
Q. Hi i would like to know about fetishes, how they begin etc. I have a balloon fetish which I know is not unknown, but i dont seem to be able to find out why how etc. Any advise please...
A. 9 September 2007: Fetishes are normal. I don't know what a balloon fetish is, but if it's not destructive, if it doesn't harm others, I wouldn't worry about it. The time to seek help is if you feel as if you need help. If it bothers you having this, the get the help ... (read in full...)
When we were doing it I made a horrible 'windy' noise from my privates...
Q. Last night was so embarrassing!!! I stayed over my boyfriends (I've been with him a month) and when we were doing it I made a horrible 'windy' noise from my privates - I was so embarrassed and he stopped and didn't really know what to say!! I'm so ...
A. 9 September 2007: Id happens. My girlfriend and I use to laugh when that would happen. It's normal for air to build up inside then release. ... (read in full...)
Can a girl only get pregnant during intercourse?
Q. can a girl get only pregnant from only intercourse and can a girl get pregnant if a guy masturbated in general. no fingering and no sperm near the vagina only the sperm is on objects, then the girl touches it then she puts her hand next her vagina?...
A. 9 September 2007: Very unlikely. But during intercourse, pulling out and ejaculating externally, low chance, put possible.... (read in full...)
He could get into trouble, because I lied about my age, and now I feel guilty.
Q. there's something i need to get off my chest, when i was 15 i slept with a 38 year old. i convinced him that i was 18, but i feel so guilty because i know that if anyone found out he could get into trouble. he recently got in touch but i'm so disgu...
A. 9 September 2007: A 15 year old pretending to be older. You see that all the time at the bars. I had a friend who was looking for a girl to take home from the bar, I told him he'd better check ID's before he does. lol Now on a more serious note. What's done has been... (read in full...)
I need to stop bein unfaithful before I get caught and lose him, what's wrong with me?
Q. Im so confused......I love my boyfriend, I REALLY do. Id love to someday be his wife but....I have this huge problem....I cant seem to be faithful. The sex is great, our relationship is great, we are best friends and I dont ever want to be without ...
A. 9 September 2007: You need to find a real good counselor. You need to sometime involve your boyfriend in your treatment. There is such a thing as having a sexual addiction. My ex-wife had it. It's not fair to your boyfriend to ask him to be your husband, unless y... (read in full...)
We've been best friends, yesterday we ended falling asleep naked in his bed, what can he be thinking of me now?
Q. I have been best friends with this guy, we'll call him James, for about three years. We have been apart for long periods of time, only getting to contact each other by phone or e-mail. Lately our conversations have become more "sexual" in nature, ...
A. 9 September 2007: I think there's nothing to worry about. If his behavior hasn't changed toward your friendship it's OK. Two people who are friends can fool around, maybe have a relationship, and not screw up the friendship they had. I don't think he would have bad ... (read in full...)
He said he wants to wait till my pill is sure to work, but I'm afraid by that point he'll just say he wants to wait again...
Q. I'm an 18 year old girl who's dating a 20 year old boy, and for the sake of it, I'll call him "Joe". Joe and I have been dating for about a month, and both of us have had sex before, so it's not like a mammoth decision or anything. The problem is ...
A. 9 September 2007: The fear of having children. My ex-girlfriend and I, spur of the moment, had sex after our first date. 9 months later.... But I can look across my hall and see my beautiful daughter sleeping in her bed. After our first night we went and bought p... (read in full...)
Why do I keep having these fantasies about having sex with a DOG?
Q. Hello everyone. I am 19 a 19 year old college girl. I have a pretty good sex life, but lately I have found myself masturbating more and fantasizing about k9. I swear to you I have never done it and have not even touched a dog down there, I don't ...
A. 9 September 2007: It's not normal. You're sex life can't be that great if your asking this question. You have an issue, I can't tell you what it is, but it's there. You need to seek professional advise. Sorry, but I've never had the opportunity to attempt to help ... (read in full...)
I work for an older man, he is on the verge of divorce and I feel we have become close. What do I do?
Q. Hey guys, i am 20 yrs old and i work for a 40 yr old man (he is married with two kids and his daughter is only 2 yrs younger then me!!) Him and his wife are seperating and may even be getting a divorce. When i first started working with him i ...
A. 9 September 2007: I'd wait until the divorce is final before acting on your feelings for him. It's hard enough to go through a divorce. It's even harder if there's changes in circumstances, like a new girlfriend (20 years younger). You don't want to get caught in the ... (read in full...)
Dazed and Confused! Please help!
Q. I left the father of my son and partner of 6yrs for my childhood sweetheart who after 3 months broke my heart for the second time. I then went on to find myself a new man, which I might add is totally in love with me and I love him to bits, minus ...
A. 9 September 2007: There's no answer that can help your situation. It's your decision. No one can help you to make the right one, or prompt you to make the wrong one. You're confused. You need to find yourself, and decide what you are really looking for in a... (read in full...)
She doesn't answer the phone when I call, or she'll answer and promise to call me back but never will.
Q. Hi, I am 18 years old and decided to start experimenting with a relationship with another woman 2 months ago. The biggest problem is that she's 39. It was troublesome at first, but after a couple of nights together we both feel much more ...
A. 9 September 2007: More than likely she's ending it. She may think she is saving your feelings, or doesn't want to hurt you by telling you. All she's doing is being a coward by not being honest. I'd let this one go. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my friend that I've fallen for her?
Q. Im a 16yr old guy, and iv fallen in love with probably the closest person to me in my life. I've known her from the day she was born and we have always got on like brother and and sister and best friends. However the problem is she is only 14 ...
A. 9 September 2007: Just tell her your honest feelings. If your friendship is as strong as you say it is, telling her won't make a difference as friends. She might like you the way you like her too. Only one way to find out.... (read in full...)
I am monitoring all interaction between my wife and her friend. Did I do the right thing?
Q. For the past couple of weeks my wife has been exchanging sexual emails with an old friend she found online. They had phone sex and even met up one day when she took the kids out to the cinema. I confronted her about it and she insists that although ...
A. 9 September 2007: That was a great follow up. We do take so much for granted. I schedule hours out of my week, just to make contact and let people know how much I appreciate them. Take care, and have a great future.... (read in full...)
The love of my life has moved on and has a baby now
Q. I was to late! The man who asked me to marry him ten years ago, has now had a baby with a new women. We text as friends, but i so wished it was me and not her who was with him. Im happy for them both, but it should have been me, having his baby. ...
A. 9 September 2007: Time is not running out. If you look at it as being a time frame, you'll find someone, but out of urgency. Doing that will attract the wrong people. Take your time, don't just jump for whatever comes along. It's you're right to find happines... (read in full...)
How can I get over a break-up????
Q. HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK-UP? it's second time i 'm breaking up wth my bf and it's always me. he loves me and treats me good. he's everything that i ever dream of (charming,romantic,good looking, good career etc..i believe my big issue is that i ve ...
A. 8 September 2007: who doesn't make some wrong decisions. i know i'm the king of wrong decisions. First the "Self Esteem" Work on that. It takes quite a while and consistent work, but can be done. Next how can you appreciate if you don't feel as if you deserve. But in ... (read in full...)
My longest relationship lasted 2 weeks. How can I make them last longer??
Q. I can't have a long relationship with a girl. I'm a 21 yr old guy who dates girls now and then but I just can’t stay with same girl I don’t know why?? My longest relationship has only been 2 weeks I really want to have a long relationship but I just ...
A. 8 September 2007: Choose girls who are looking for the same. It's OK to ask what their looking for in a relationship. You may even have to change the place of meeting the girls. ... (read in full...)
My friend is entering a long distance relationship soon after I came out of one. I'm happy for her, but also jealous. How can I stop feeling this way?
Q. Hi everyone. Recently a friend of mine has started to get herself into a long distance relationship, similar to one I was happily in a short time ago. She recently started chatting to a guy from Sheffield (she is from Oxford, so that's about 3 h...
A. 8 September 2007: You need to disassociate yourself with her relationship. It's not yours. I could see being that way if she's with the one you were with. It's OK to want what she's having now. You've had it before. But, you need to realize you are both individuals. ... (read in full...)
I really like kissing and my boyfriend doesnt
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months now and everything is going great. My only problem is I love kissing and my boyfriend really doesnt. When i ask him about it he doesnt come right out and say he doesnt like it he just says if its ...
A. 8 September 2007: Girls generally like kissing and making out more than guys do. If it started out heavy then decreased it's because he's getting comfortable in the relationship. That's a good thing in a way. It means the trust is there, and other elements for having ... (read in full...)
I recently saw my ex and want to get back together. How can I show her how much she means to me?
Q. I met up with an old love interest of mine recently. I had to end the relationship a year ago, for her sake as well as my own. It wouldn't of been possible to have had a relationship back then, as much as I wanted to stay I had to go away. But ...
A. 8 September 2007: Get a piece of paper and write the pro's on one side and the cons on the other. Your question is complicated. You want her, but don't want to interfere with her growth. That's what I would do. Write the pro's and cons out. If the list says tell her, ... (read in full...)
What is the differance between a lover and a girlfriend?
Q. What is the difference between a lover and a girlfriend? ...
A. 8 September 2007: A love is someone who is not committed to the relationship. I girlfriend commits to the person and the relationship. ... (read in full...)
I cant seem to stop being jealous
Q. why am i so jealous? ive been seeing my boyfriend now for 1year and 4 months and i cant help but get really jealous when he talks to his female friends or any woman. i know i shouldnt be acting like this but i can help myself getting so worke...
A. 8 September 2007: Discuss it with your boyfriend. Let him know you have some issues and what might be causing you to react that way. Most of the time jealous behavior stems from your own self esteem. That you have to work on. Realize, unless he has given you a ... (read in full...)
I used to suffer from depression. Now he has gone off with my friend...
Q. i was clinically depressed for five years, i was put on prozac (a medication) and councilling all that. i had a bad family life. then i met my boyfriend. we were realy happy, he helped me so much when i told him about it all and helped me get ...
A. 8 September 2007: Get out of it, you're done. There is something so many are missing. I read a lot of stories, and answer few compared to what I read. Your missing the boat. LOVE DOESN'T HURT. Relationships are not meant to (1) solve problems (2) hurt either person ... (read in full...)
The love of my life has moved on and has a baby now
Q. I was to late! The man who asked me to marry him ten years ago, has now had a baby with a new women. We text as friends, but i so wished it was me and not her who was with him. Im happy for them both, but it should have been me, having his baby. ...
A. 8 September 2007: You need to stop texting him. You can't move on as long as your holding on so tight. We've all had someone we wish we were in the place of another. It's not the end not to be. It's convenient because of the relationship we'd all ready built with ... (read in full...)
I am monitoring all interaction between my wife and her friend. Did I do the right thing?
Q. For the past couple of weeks my wife has been exchanging sexual emails with an old friend she found online. They had phone sex and even met up one day when she took the kids out to the cinema. I confronted her about it and she insists that although ...
A. 8 September 2007: I hate to say this because it's a difficult subject to talk about. This subject usually has a few things included. (1) An issue (2) a cause (3) a solution. The issue is the friend and what they did, stupid or not, was a form of cheating. So the ... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair. We are sorting it out but the other woman is fighting for him!
Q. By accident I found out my husband was having an affair. We are trying to work out our marriage because I won't let him go. I'm making it hard for him to go. We have 4 little children under 9. He's been honest with me about his feelings for her. At ...
A. 8 September 2007: It's about you in working out your relationship. The other women is his issue. If he wants you, he has to let the other one go, and may have to be extremely firm in telling her what he wants. There can't be any doubt about his sincerity at all. ... (read in full...)
My mum has MS and my dad is having an affair with my mums best mate! Do I tell???
Q. My mum has MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and uses a walking stick most of the time. But even when she does not use a walking stick, she totters around and can barely walk. She cries most of the time and is very depressed. Dad has told her he is leaving ...
A. 8 September 2007: You owe it to your mum. It's bad enough this is happening, but if she finds out, and finds out that you knew. Resentment and anger could go in many different directions. I would ask my dad for mum's sake to tell her himself. Give a time limit, an... (read in full...)
Unhappily married for several years, and every time I see this other man by accident, I fall in love with him.
Q. I have been unhappily married for several years and find I am unable to break free from the relationship due to kids and finance. However, not long after I got married, I met a man I fell for but didn't act on it because I was already married. O...
A. 8 September 2007: Then end it with your husband. It's you who is shopping around. Don't make that a cause of separation, get separated before it becomes an issue. First be honest with yourself, then be honest with those you have the potential of hurting. ... (read in full...)
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