A
female
age
30-35,
*majayne
writes:I'm 16 years old and have had the same boyfriend for about 1 year and a half. At first it was really lovely, and then it just went sour. We have our good days, but when it gets bad, like some stupid argument over who buys what, we shout and scream and we both wind up hurt. He can be a real jerk some times. Like he's called me an F-ing pussy in front of lots of people before. I don't know what to do... my friends think I should stick with him but then they also say to chuck him while you are ahead. I could keep going on and on about what has happened in our relationship but it says not to make it too long. So my question is, should I chuck him or keep holding on and waiting for some miracle to occur? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emajayne +, writes (10 September 2007):
Emajayne is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for your responses. it really helps. see..there is a lot more to our relationship than just that. see...Ive got friends on msn that are from another country and i want to see them all next summer. Ive known them for a year. i couldn't tell my boyfriend because i was scared of what he might say and stuff. but i finally told him the day i found out he went to see a friend of his hes never met before and didn't tell me. i thought it was awefully fitting. he was furious. he went into a state of complete denial. didnt wanna touch me or anything that day. it was like i never even said anything to him about it and then this week he jsut mentions it out of the blue. he still cant fathom me going to see a bunch of guys across the big blue ocean, but he can go see a girl who hes never met before, but lives on teh same continent. He has tones of flaws but then again so do i. he is from what ud call a "popular" background so hes all jock like and enlarged ego, while im from a "nerdy" background with good grades and a goody good personality. Hes rescently started doing pot. which i really dont like him doing. but i told him its his life and all and hes free to do what he likes with it cause he obviously doesnt care, which he doesnt. hes told me in person.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 A guy calling a girl a pussy. Here is the US, guys are called that, but not girls. lol
Anyway, it's time to move on. If being together causing these problems, it's time to make a change. I know you're young, and will have other opportunities to date. I'm going to teach you this now. Always remember this: Relationships don't hurt, they are not competitive, they are not obligations to do for someone else. They are two people who CHOOSE to spend time with someone else, not expecting the other person to make them happy, but to share with someone what they all ready have.
You can't change his behavior. Only he can change. He would have to notice first that his behavior is a problem then take action in altering it. You could wait and wait, but if he never recognizes his behavior as being a problem, that's how long you'll be waiting.
Take care and I hope everything works out for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (10 September 2007):
 The best question i can throw out there for you to get to the bottom of this is...is it worth working things out?
First off know that every relationship has its good and bad days. There is fighting, yelling, and unfortunately name calling time to time. Its so easy to "chuck" something when its becoming too difficult. But my advice is too never give up on something because it gets too hard.
Dont get discouraged, talk with your boyfriend about what bothers you. If you over come this it can strengthen your relationship. However, if you guys are fighting on an everyday basis and you guys have tried to have a conversation about why this is happening and what is needed to make it better then you might have to consider sometime apart. There is no need to fight on an everyday basis...its just not healthy.
The bottom line in my opinion is not to give up on a relationship just because things arent the way they once were.
~dee
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Ideally a bf is supposed to protect you and make you feel good and not embarrass you in front of others. I would dump him.
My ex called me a tramp once in front of a bunch of people. He is kind of psycho. The thing is he is really jealous. And he cannot control his anger. But that is not my problem. That is HIS problem. I wasn't so embarrassed that he called me a tramp as I was that people knew I was associated with this guy. That is what was SO embarrassing. I never talked to him again. And he kept calling and writing me all these letters. The thing is that he does not understand what he did wrong. And he is not going to change. And I do care what people think of me. I don't want to be that girl that everybody is like "she must have issues being with that guy." You know?
Don't feel sorry for yourself. Just do something about it. Move on. Who cares what your friends think. There not the ones who are being put down and embarrassed by their own bf's. The day they ever experience something like that, maybe then you can hold their opinions sacred. But until then, move on. Tell him to go F himself.
...............................
A
male
reader, jm81690 +, writes (10 September 2007):
 He might not realize he's upsetting you so much when he goes off on you, you should atleast tell him if he doesn't stop you should leave him.
But dumping people without any warning in my opinion is a bit cruel, if he cares about you he'll take you seriously and stop.
...............................
|
