A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, this is going to be complicated.I went out with this boy for 3 months, and I broke up with him because he wasnt putting any effort into the relationship, at all. It was always me phoning and seeing him etc.Anyway, we were good mates for we got together, and I was his first girlfriend, but he wasn't my first boyfriend.Since then, he won't talk to me, ignores me, won't look at me. Which upsets me. I went on a camping holiday, this is 6 months after we broke up, and he was there, with lots of mutual friends. He basically ignored me, which I wasn''t really surprissed. I woke up on Friday morning, and he was just standing outside my tent.I look up at him and said hey, and he blushed, said you look nice and walked away. Which I found weird. He didn't sopeak to me after that, but we went to a gig together on this holiday, there was about 4 of us. As I was dancing alot, he kept peering over at me, and the same when I had a waterfight with some guys. BOth of us got seperated from the group at one point, in a crowd, and I said to hime *look, I'm going to hold onto your shirt, so we dont get lost* he didnt reply. A minute later he snapped, you dont have to hold my shirt! and ran off in a huff.It bothers me that he's acting this way, why is he?thanks guys x
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 September 2007):
 There are boundaries in relationships. What we do, and what we don't do. When you changes from being friends to bf/gf you changed the boundaries of that relationship. Then you broke it off. If you were his first, you would be considered more important than any others in the future.
So his first, and most important relationship, he was dumped. Not only was he dumped but by a good friend. Lets change the word in the last sentence, but with one which means the same thing. Not only was he rejected buy by a good friend.
So then you wish to change the boundaries back to the way they were before hand. The only way you're going to be able to do that is to have a serious talk with him, and assuring him you like being friends with him, and want to continue, and if you would have known taking it further would have turned out this way then you would have just kept it as friends, because you don't want to loose that.
A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Just tell him... If you want to be with him, say it straighforwardly.. and see how will he react. holding or pulling the shirt is not a clear sigh, maybe he got immpression that u just want to play games with him...yup i broke up and now i wants...
So be clear, thats the best way for you and for him.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Well he might think you don't like him because you broke up with him, when my first gf dumped me I stopped talking to her because I assumed if she didn't want to be with me she didn't like me.
But as for him getting pissed because you held his shirt thats just weird. If he said you looked nice, and you caught him peering over at you he probably still likes you, just has no idea how to apporach you at this point.
Maybe you should just have a real conversation with him, when I was ignoring my first gf she asked me straight up why I was doing it, and then I felt a bit better knowing she still wanted to be friends.
I was younger than him at the time, but I can still see where he is coming from.
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