A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I think I may have got myself into a difficult situation and I need advice. A few months ago I came out of a long term and very long distance relationship. It had been very difficult and I was crushed when it ended. Nearly two months later I went on holiday and met a guy. I thought it was just a rebound coz I'm not over my ex and I compared them a lot. But I went on holiday again soon after to see him again and try to forget my problems but I now really like him. By the end of the holiday I saw him as a seperate person, stopped comparing him to my ex. AND he is really keen on me too. I mean I can't believe I found another person who I click with. I feel like there is a lot of potential between us for something more but we both know that we can't see each other right now as we both have commitments at home. But personally I also feel like I have to get over my ex completely who still emails. I don't want to wait for this guy coz I know how hard that is but I'm worried that he'll go off me if I dont see him. I only got back yesterday and we'd both decided that it would be best to be 'friends' even though we want each other. I just don't know if I should tell him how I feel. In my last relationship I always felt like I was letting what I want go and I don't want to let that happen again. I feel like if I find something good I should try make it happen but I just don't know how and, like I said, I need a bit more time to get over my ex fully so that I'm able to feel for someone else. So what should I do? Tell him this? Try see him again even though I know it will still end up being long distance? Try keep him as a friend hoping that it will pick up again next year? But isn't that just waiting? I know I've only just got home and need some time but any advice would be good. Please bare in mind I don't go into things lightly and for me 'just forgetting' is not an option.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): Hi, If you're happy with the new guy and there is potential, then don't let it slip away, you will always wonder "what if". The old boyfriend has crushed you once and will no doubt do it again. Distance between you and the new guy is not a problem if you care for each other, and it sounds like it isn't going to be permanent anyway. If you think you're not over the guy that crushed you yet, then I suggest you're just looking for a "comfort zone" to go back to, believe me it won't last long and it'll soon be back to the old ways. You are absolutely right when you said that if you've found something good then you have to make it happen. The guy that makes you happy is the one to be with, not the one that crushed you.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Now you are in the position to make your decision and not let yourself push what you want aside for someone else.
Think it through slowly, there's not time limit in finding true love. Weigh out what you want and don't want, compare and go with what feels right.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (10 September 2007):
It seemed like you began to get over him if you stopped comparing them. But to help you out more, what kind of emails is your ex sending? Is he being friend-like or is he being mean or is he saying how much he misses you? And how far will you and this new guy be? How often wouldyou be able to see each other and what are the commitments you two have at home?
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