| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My ex told me he prefered spending time on his computer than with me. I suggested we break up but it was clearly his choice. I don't think he knew how to tell me. He is not good with people skills. He said we can be friends, but he has almost no contact with any friends except for an occasional hello on msn which i don't count as a meaningful anything. I was his first gf, he is 23 but it seems his computer is all cares about. I feel completely gutted,I was prepared to do anything, but any time or intimacy I asked for was too much. He only made an effort before we got together, since then I have become less and less important. I am finding it hard to get over him and keep calling even though i need a clean break and end up feeling worse because i know he does not care for or miss me. I have begged him to try again. I have twice instigated meeting up and then cry so much after. He will happily never see me again, not through dislike, but the same indifference he has for others. He does not need the company of others. I should have known this from the start and maybe deep down I did. My friends warned me, I did not listen, I am paying now. To him a gf was a novelty, eventually it got boring. He is not a bad person, I simply expected too much from him. I tell him I am angry at him but really I am angry with myself for getting so attached. This situation is making me so unhappy. Friendship will not work, I need to cut him out of my life, I want to but am too weak. We were together less than 1 yr, it should not hurt so much. I can not stay in this situation. How do I get some strength to move on?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Get some friends and family to help you make the transition. Let them know you feel sort of week in doing this, so when you become week, their strength will pick up the slack.
It's sad that someone would rather spend time with their computer. This is someone who needs psych. treatment. It's beyond your ability to help him with his computer addicted nature.
The strength comes within you. You need to work on understanding you can be happy without this relationship. Believe it or not the stronger you become, the stronger the partner you find will be. You want someone who knows who they are, what they want, and instead of looking at you to make them happy, someone who chooses to share their happiness with you.
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