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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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Sex with my step aunt?
Q. i was wondering if anyone could help me with this question... my step aunt is really hot and i think she wants to have sex with me. i want to also but im not for sure. she is touching me sometimes and i like it. i dont know what to do....
A. 12 September 2007: Is your step aunt married at this time to your uncle? If so, you need to find someone else who you would like it from. Having sex with a step aunt, if uncle finds out, or she comes clean about it could cause many family difficulties, and guess who ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and brother used to get along, but...
Q. ok well my brother and my boyfriend usually get along but lately there's been some serious tension and it's not just like they fight with words they're kind of agressive too...... what should i do? how should i talk to them to make this non sense ...
A. 12 September 2007: Let them know their aggressions make you feel as if your stuck in the middle. You don't appreciate seeing people you care about fight, which you do both of them, and their not considering you feelings in having to watch it, and should have more ... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity and now have bloating. Anyone got any advice please?
Q. Hey, I lost my virginity nearly 2 weeks ago... it was protected sex, but i am now suffering from severe bloating. I also suffer from irrital bowel syndrome so do you think this is the problem? The condom did not break or slip off so should i be w...
A. 12 September 2007: I would use a pregnancy test just to rule that out. There could be a slight change you may be allergic to latex (condoms). I have a married female friend who is. ... (read in full...)
If we do split up how am I going to tell him I'm pregnant? He's been getting phone calls saying I'm cheating on him when I'm not!
Q. I just found out I'm pregnant - I did a test last week and it said yes, I'm scared but that isn't the issue here. I don't really have any symptoms except feeling bloated [I only took a test because I'm 3 weeks late] does this mean I'll miscarry? B...
A. 11 September 2007: You just need to let him know what's going on. Not telling him is dishonest, and may sway his decision in being together to not being together. Pregnancy is a big deal for the fathers too ,and not just the mother. I would be extremely hurt and ... (read in full...)
We have unprotected sex. Could i be pregnant?
Q. I think i'm pregnant. Well me and my boyfriend have been together for a month and a few weeks. Anyway we started having unprotective sex last month and my period came on and last month and after my period went off everything was messed up now that...
A. 11 September 2007: clear yellowy discharge is a true sign of an STD. You need to get into the doctor to get checked. If you wait too long you could damage your system from getting pregnant. You're partner needs to get checked too. He can go to family planning with ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and due to have a baby in 8 months. Have i still got a good future?
Q. I am sixteen years old and i am going to be having a baby in 8 months. can i still have a good future ahead for me and my baby?...
A. 11 September 2007: You decide you're own future. Having a baby just means getting to that future you might have to change the process you were wanting to take. Don't let having a child make you feel as if your disabled and can't do anything. I have a friend who had a ... (read in full...)
Can pre cum make you pregnant, me and my girl are worried.
Q. I had sex with my gf on 21st(july) and that day(during intercourse) she got her periods....and we had safe sex.. but once we did have unprotected i dint cum inside... but i dont know if pre cum can make her pregnent..... well till now(27 aug) she ...
A. 11 September 2007: Yes it can make her pregnant, so can having sex right before or after her period, during the ovulation cycle. I'd have her take a pregnancy test.... (read in full...)
Is she dating someone else or is it just hormones?
Q. I have a pregnant ex girlfriend who may be seeing someone else. She won't even discuss us or getting back together. She just says it's over and I need to get used to the fact. Is it just hormones? Most of my guy friends think she has someone else ...
A. 11 September 2007: My first thought is STOP PAYING HER PERSONAL BILLS. If she says it's over, the personal payments need to stop. I would have to say yes she is seeing someone else, and no she is not seeing someone else. She may just feel, as she said, none of yo... (read in full...)
I am 14, pregnant and haven't told anybody! What do I do?
Q. ok so i had sex with my bf and we used a condom and i still got pregnent, I'm only 14 and nobody knows, not even my bf, I'm scared to tell anyone, my mom said if i ever got pregnant that i would have to get an abortion. What do i do??? HELP PLEA...
A. 11 September 2007: You need to tell someone. Living with this and keeping it a secret will not be good long term. This is going to be a hard challenge for you. Deciding to have sex, you accept the possibility of something happening, so you need to accept the ... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me on this, please? There's a chance that I might be pregnant...
Q. Hey. I have a question, and anyone with a good advice to help me out, i'd really appreciate it. To start it off, my period is pretty irregular. although it comes between 28-35 days. and it doesn't go over that. however today is..sept 1, and my last ...
A. 11 September 2007: You know it's scary to think about this size of change taking place. I was scared too when my first, second, third, and fourth one came. But after being with them, and spending time, I don't know what I would do without the love, affection and bond ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of tricking him into fatherhood!
Q. I have been seeing a man for nearly 1 year, I do not have romantic feelings for him and neither does he for me, he is special to me and I class him as a friend more than anything, we purely have each other for sexual satisfaction. I am however ...
A. 11 September 2007: That is wrong period, there is no other way to look at it. There are certain things that are wrong on their face, and this is one of them. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO MESS WITH ANYONE'S LIFE, OR KNOWINGLY CAUSE THEM HARM THAT AFFECT THEIR LIFE. You ... (read in full...)
I have had a miscarriage and don't know how to tell my partner?
Q. I found out thursday that I was 6weeks pregnant with his child. He really wants to be a dad so I had great pleasure in telling him on Saturday when I saw him on his own (finally!)The new problem is, is that I miss carried yesterday, and I'm so ...
A. 11 September 2007: You need to tell him. That's the whole thing around being partners, you'd both be raising the child together, so dealing with the pain of loosing the pregnancy needs to be something you both work through together.
As a man I'll tell you what woul... (read in full...)
I have had a miscarriage and don't know how to tell my partner?
Q. I found out thursday that I was 6weeks pregnant with his child. He really wants to be a dad so I had great pleasure in telling him on Saturday when I saw him on his own (finally!)The new problem is, is that I miss carried yesterday, and I'm so ...
A. 11 September 2007: You need to tell him. That's the whole thing around being partners, you'd both be raising the child together, so dealing with the pain of loosing the pregnancy needs to be something you both work through together.
As a man I'll tell you what woul... (read in full...)
I thought having a baby would get me off the council estate. My married lover is married and has money. I wanted that lifestyle.
Q. I'm 18 and I have been lying about being on the contaceptive injection. I have had a hard childhood on a council estate and I thought if I got pregnant to my older boss I would get a better life. I'm pregnant and he's staying with his wife that he ...
A. 11 September 2007: First lets address the situation as a whole. DON'T DATE MARRIED MEN. You not only affect your life, but the lives of others. His wife is innocent, and should not have the marriage she agreed to tampered with by you or anyone else.
It's OK to wa... (read in full...)
I am pregnant, but the father could be either my fiancee or his friend
Q. I have been in a relationship with my fiancee (we'll call him stuart) for nearly 5 years. I ended up having sex with a friend of his (we'll call him steve) while he was at work, and most of our circle of friends know about it. If Steve's girlfriend ...
A. 11 September 2007: You're going to have to come clean. It's much better to do that now than end up on one of the tv shows that do dna tests. You messed up, you have to take responsibility for your actions, and let the people you weren't respecting know what you had ... (read in full...)
Is it possible I'm pregnant?
Q. me and my boyfriend had unpertected sex over 10 times wail he was stayin at my house this was almost a month ago and about two weeks after the last time we had sex i started gettin head achs and really bad cramps. i not supose to get my period till ...
A. 11 September 2007: The best thing to do is to is take a test to find out for sure. Bloating and cramps could mean you are, but are symptoms of other things too. If you're really worried, to see a doctor.... (read in full...)
Why am I not falling pregnant?
Q. I've been trying to get pregnant and when i do it with my husband he comes inside of me so i would get pregnant, but he says that when he comes inside of me i come too and i come too much that it all comes out, it that a reason of why i cant get ...
A. 11 September 2007: That's almost like saying if you stand on your head after having sex you won't get pregnant. Your cum does not push his out. There is some drainage, but that is normal. ... (read in full...)
I had an abortion but we are trying for a baby. Is it possible to get pregnant so soon?
Q. I HAD RECENTLY HAD AN ABORTION LATE AUGUST. I REALLY FEEL DEVESTATED ABOUT WHAT IVE DONE BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS OPINIONS. BUT ME AND MY BOYFRIEND IS TRYING TO CONCEIVE AGAIN THIS MONTH IS IT POSSIBLE TO GET PREGNANT SO SOON? Can you not use caps nex...
A. 11 September 2007: I would wait to have a baby. You need to take care of being torn apart first from your abortion. I would seek out a support group. You need to take more time. After the abortion you can get pregnant fairly quick, but that doesn't mean you are healed ... (read in full...)
I love this woman that has 3 children. My family think I'm making a mistake. What should i do?
Q. I have been divorced for a little under 1 year, i have no kids of my own. Now i am falling in love with a woman with 3 kids and my family thinks that i am making a mistake........ i really love this woman. wht should i do?...
A. 11 September 2007: This is your life. You're old enough to make your own decisions, and if it turns out to be a mistake, you're old enough to make those mistakes. If you're truly falling in love, don't let family influence your decision for happiness with this person... (read in full...)
I am 14 and fancy my 48 year old married uncle
Q. Hi, I am 14 and i fancy my uncle who is 48 and has a wife and two children. everytime i see him i have to wait before i go out otherwise it makes me nervous and i dont know what to do! please help me. thank you Carla ...
A. 11 September 2007: That is too cute. I'm in my mid 30's and have had girls show interest. As an adult, I have to turn their offers down, but it does flatter me. Getting a few gray hairs here and there, and someone half my age shows interest.
I think for you this... (read in full...)
We got on great, then she went back to her ex. Would our age difference of been a problem?
Q. I'm 34, single male, no kids. Through my workplace, I met a wonderful, caring, attractive, 21 year old woman. She'd been dating her boyfriend for two years, but recently stopped their relationship after she discovered he had cheated on her. Her ...
A. 11 September 2007: the age difference isn't a big deal. you can find someone better. the problem i have is those who go back to cheaters. that's almost like giving someone direct permission to walk all over you. ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by the guy I've been having an affair with! I dont need judging, I just need some advice...
Q. I have been seeing this guy for years. Before you judge me you don't have to live my life and there is a lot of screwed up stuff in my marriage. I am married and scared to death of my husband. I found out that I am pregnant and don't know what to ...
A. 11 September 2007: I won't judge you, it looks as if you realize when you did a huge boo boo.
If you are scared for your life, there is not reason to tell him and put you in danger. Get out of the relationship, find help, go to a safe house, file divorce, have a rest... (read in full...)
Forbidden or not?
Q. I am adopted and I was wondering if it would be wrong to date my cousin? I don't think it's incest at all or anything. I really like my cousin. He is a boy. Please help me. Thank you....
A. 11 September 2007: I could see you experiencing family problems by doing that. Biologically he may not be, but at the beginning of your question, you see him as being your cousin, so morally I'd say it's forbidden. Even with adoption, it's not OK to take someone from ... (read in full...)
Me and my girlfriend have nothing in common. I've met someone new, should I persue it?
Q. i have been dating the same girl for 5 years now. the relationship is very unhealthy. we only have dinner and have sex about once a week (typical date night for us) we live seperate lives and have nothing in common. however we love each other very ...
A. 11 September 2007: If you love your girlfriend, you may just be missing the emotional boat. Relationships need more than just sex and dinner once a week. Love usually comes if there is something in common. Find some things you can do for her to spark the romance. All ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have had the porn discussion a few times, but this disturbs me...
Q. My boyfriend and I have had the porn discussion a few times throughout our relationship. The first time, I gave my reasons as to why it made me uncomfortable and he seemed like he genuinely cared that it hurt me and said he wouldn't do it anymore. A ...
A. 11 September 2007: I think asking him would be OK, but not in a way to draw offense. I have been studying this subject for a while, trying to find the relationship and the link to the associative attraction. Some may not agree, but this is what I have found thus far. ... (read in full...)
Should I end this though we have wonderful times? He's showed me no signs on wanting a future together and is looking for his soulmate online.
Q. I have been dating a guy for the past eight months. I am a very attractive female. My boyfriend is the average joe. He is a part-time musician. A while back he had to perform and I accompanied him. During one of the half hour breaks that he had a ...
A. 11 September 2007: If he's not on there checking his messages and options, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just letting a site sit with no action, doesn't mean much. He may think it's not too important to change it if he's not using it. I could see something like ... (read in full...)
He has subjected me to mental abuse.
Q. I have been with my partner for 13 years. I am 32 and he is 42. About a year ago we decided we were in a good position in our lives to have a family. We always said if we had children we would get married so we also decided we would do this as well. ...
A. 10 September 2007: First you need to understand that what someone says to you only takes form and causes depression, if you believe what he says. You need to stay strong for yourself. Tell yourself positive things, because you'll always believe yourself over everyone ... (read in full...)
He said he prefers porn to me sometimes.
Q. Alright, I need some advice on what I should do or say in this situation. Last night my boyfriend and I were talking about us getting married, Just the cutsie, lovey dovey conversation. Well to bring up a past problem, when I would go to bed my ...
A. 10 September 2007: Porn over the actual thing is not the "because i'm a guy" thing. ... (read in full...)
What is it called when a girl uses a sex toy on a guy??
Q. what is it called when a girl uses a dildo on a guy to shag them? me and my gf saw it during a porn vid we watched together and are extremely interested in trying it. If any1 has any experiences of this please can you give us sum tips to prep...
A. 10 September 2007: There's no term, but I would call it "OUCH"... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with looking up skirts! Yes i know, sounds strange, whats going on???
Q. not sure if you could help me.I supose its an addiction.I am obsessed with womens knickers and constantly try to look up womens skirts,even schoolgirls.I know its wrong but i love to see the secrets.one day i will be caught and arrested,am i a ...
A. 10 September 2007: You need to find healthy ways to satisfy your desires. Anything taken to extreme is an addiction. I would seek professional help to find out what is causing this obsession.... (read in full...)
My 13 yr old son is looking at porn. He doesn't know I know, but should I talk to him?
Q. My 13 year old son is looking at porn, he doesn't know I know but should I talk to him? What should I do?...
A. 10 September 2007: Your son's going through a growing stage. I did the same when I was that young, but we didn't watch porn. We thought it was cool to stock up on dirty magazines. I'm now 36, and just recently ran into my stash at my parents home which mom took. I ... (read in full...)
My fiancee recently asked for permission to kiss two other men before we get married. It has shaken my faith in our relationship. Suggestions?
Q. My fiancee recently asked for permission to kiss two other men before we get married. We are going to get married in about a year. She said she just wanted to get it out of her system. I didn't really think about it much and said she could. The ...
A. 10 September 2007: It is time to tell her goodbye. There is no getting something off your chest when your engaged to be married. That's just crazy, and very slutty behavior. Her getting close with this person it's clear that her intentions with you are not what you... (read in full...)
What can I do for him that he will love??
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a while and he always seems to be the one who gets the chance to do really cute things for me. He always get the first chance to kiss me if the lights go out, or he tells me the perfect thing, etc.etc. I am just ...
A. 10 September 2007: get him a flower. believe it or not guys think it is cute when girls give them a flower. at your age though, do it in private. sending roses to school for a boy would be quite embarrassing ... (read in full...)
We were fine again in 20 minutes and laughing about it but inside I am still jealous, should I be?
Q. Confused and need of some advice! My girlfriend is returning to England as a foreign student(we met 7 months ago whilst she was studying English) We love each other very much and she has gone to much effort to arrange a visa to return to study ...
A. 10 September 2007: It is unfair to you if she's wanting to keep this relationship going. What she needs to look at is, he wanted to meet her alone. That tells me his intentions are not that of just a friend. Hers may be, but his are not. So if she is wanting to keep ... (read in full...)
Should I give up the relationship or fight for it?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a little less than a year. we're gonna be apart for the next six months because i have to go abroad. when he said that he doesn't love me (he used to say that he does), but only likes me a lot and he has doubts if the ...
A. 10 September 2007: It's up to you if you remain friends. There is really no reason why if the relationship isn't their that the friendship has to end. That's not only rejecting the relationship, but devaluing the person you ended it with too. You're going away for a... (read in full...)
Do I risk damaging our relationship by bringing up the friendship with the ex?
Q. Hello I have a question relating to my girlfriend being friends with her ex. We have been dating a few months now and are very close, when we met I knew she was friends with several of her exes which I didn't really like too much but I know I c...
A. 10 September 2007: Her contact with her ex is unreasonable. They are ex's, her relationship with him is over. She's having one with you. I'm not saying it's not OK to have a friendship with someone you use to date. It is not OK not to respect the feelings of the ... (read in full...)
How to say to a guy that has treated you well and cared for you that he is not the one?
Q. How to say a guy, that has treated you well, cared about you, was on your side to support you and who you know has feelings for you, that HE IS Simply Not THE Guy you're looking for?? and not to be painful for him? What's the best way? Please, any ...
A. 10 September 2007: You and he will bet better off long term by telling him. Before finding someone else. Take the time to list. (1) What am I looking for in a partner? (2) What personalities am I attracted to. (3) What personalities do I have that can benefit the ... (read in full...)
Why is she acting this way since I told her how I felt? Did she reject me or was it a wrong impression?
Q. Please Please Help!!!!!!! I am really confused. This girl i like is driving me insane.We are both 16. We are friends and talk alot, but still, i dont want to ask her why she is acting the way she is. Last week, i told her that i really liked he...
A. 10 September 2007: She could be acting this way to show her affection toward you. Sometimes it's not a rejection. You could have caught her off guard, and that's all she could think about saying at the moment. Many times people take rejection as personal. Most of the ... (read in full...)
Is he taking me for a ride? Do you think I can learn to trust him??
Q. I got together with my boyfriend (who is 16 and I'm 19) while he was with another girl. They had only been going out for two months and we felt that what we had was really special. He's dumped her now but now I'm scared he'll do the same to me. ...
A. 10 September 2007: You're exactly right. Bull is what it's called. That's almost like what a friend of mine experienced. She came home, her boyfriend was on the couch. His pants were down, another girls pants were off, and she was orally pleasing him. She walked in ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should move on or give it a second chance?
Q. Hi, i'm a female 26 yrs of age. Due to the kind of family i was raised with i really stareted sex very late, i started it when i was 22yrs. The thing is i always belived in marriege and i never wanted to have an affair so i waited so long bu...
A. 10 September 2007: Tough life. It has to be difficult. My advise would be to take a step back and a deep breath. Lets look at happiness as a whole. Can education make you happy, nope, can money make you happy, nope, can a guy make you happy, nope. Happiness comes from ... (read in full...)
Why aren't I pregnant?
Q. ok so my boyfriend and i have been having sex unprotected since atleast march of this year and almost all the time he cums in me.... i'm not on birth control of any form... should it be taking this long? i mean shouldn't i be pregnant already? Is ...
A. 10 September 2007: I agree with mum2be. My ex-wife and I tried and tried and tried, nothing happened for 3 years. Then she decided, maybe we'd wait a bit, that's when it happened. ... (read in full...)
Should I end this though we have wonderful times? He's showed me no signs on wanting a future together and is looking for his soulmate online.
Q. I have been dating a guy for the past eight months. I am a very attractive female. My boyfriend is the average joe. He is a part-time musician. A while back he had to perform and I accompanied him. During one of the half hour breaks that he had a ...
A. 10 September 2007: If he's looking for someone else, it's time to end it. ... (read in full...)
How to say to a guy that has treated you well and cared for you that he is not the one?
Q. How to say a guy, that has treated you well, cared about you, was on your side to support you and who you know has feelings for you, that HE IS Simply Not THE Guy you're looking for?? and not to be painful for him? What's the best way? Please, any ...
A. 10 September 2007: Just be honest with him. It may hurt no matter which way you put it. It's not what you say, it's what he's losing. Do it in a caring manner, placing yourself to blame and not him. ... (read in full...)
Is he taking me for a ride? Do you think I can learn to trust him??
Q. I got together with my boyfriend (who is 16 and I'm 19) while he was with another girl. They had only been going out for two months and we felt that what we had was really special. He's dumped her now but now I'm scared he'll do the same to me. ...
A. 10 September 2007: Dating a 16 year old at your age. A 16 year old boy is not really ready for a committed relationship. He may not be meaning to be taking you for a ride, but he is in the point of his life of experimenting to find out what he's looking for when it ... (read in full...)
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