A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Here is my problem...My boyfriend who I've been with for almost 5 months now is having feelings of wanting to date other people. He's had these feelings for a month or so and now we're taking a week "break". I miss him so much though, and for some reason he can't decided how he feels. There will be times when he can't stand being without me and he misses me, and then they'll be other moments when he feels like dating other people. Is this relationship worth working for?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Let him go, he's not worth it. I read a story once, which was disturbing. A husband and wife separated for 30 days, during which the husband had sex with other girl. They got back together, said it was a great benefit to their marriage that they separated except the girl he slept with had aids, gave it to him, he gave it to his wife. At the time she was a beautiful 23 year old lady who was dying from an incurable disease.
Wanting to date others shows he isn't secure with relationships and being with just one person. I've seen a few females, correct me if I'm wrong, don't they all pretty much have the same parts. So why would he want to date others. If he's willing to go for variety, instead of just being with you, he's not worth your time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): My heart goes out to you and all the Aunts on this thread on right on the money. No one, especially this guy, should have this type of power over you in a relationship. Stop being so dependent on this guy.. no more worshipping him. Because I am sensing a wonderful young woman here who is inappropriately centering her life around someone who can't decide who he wants more. Her or these other females. Use your head and think clearly here. When a man wants a woman in his life...nothing will stop him to be with that female. He will be by her side and only her side. You need to think smart and discern if this guy is good for your life. I say...he's not because he's waffling back and forth between you and dating others. Any woman who bases her life plans some guy who can't decide between her and dating other females..needs to have a strong dose of reality. Get tough, get your levels of confidence up to par, muster up some pride, girl and speak up. Tell him you will not tolerate this. All his behaviors will cause you is more continual angst, humiliation and pain. If he won't commit to you then get your dignity back and kick his butt to the curb. Plain and simple. Don't stagnate in a relationship with Mr. Indecision who's disrespectful behaviours will drain you of all your self-respect and pride. Begin building yourself a new life, one with a happy future and without him. Today. Heal, recover and go find a fantastic fellow who wants to date 'only' you. Heaven knows...you deserve that, girl...don't you. Good luck and please, be strong. Take care.
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (9 September 2007):
 He's going to end up cheating on you and you'll feel like shit when he does, I don't think its worth it, tell him when he's committed to come back.
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A
female
reader, bballchick +, writes (9 September 2007):
I am kind of going through the same thing.... he and i have been dating for two years then he went away to college and broke up with me...over the summer we again spent all of our time together and he again said we can't go out because we are at separate colleges. This weekend i went to see him and everything was great but i found another girls shoes in his room. I guess my advice to you is the same that i am trying to take. I feel that this is the right guy but he is struggling with making a committment so i need to give him space and move on. I doubt i will really move on but i am willing to go thru the motions till he comes back...and i know he will. You must do what you think is right for you....
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A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp  +, writes (9 September 2007):
 It's obvious that he hasn't a clue what he wants at all. It definitely doesn't sound anything like love as he is not certain of you at all. If he is thinking of dating other people at any time at all in your relationship then its quite obvious that he is not wanting to commit to you. Perhaps he is not mature enough for that yet!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): I don't think this relationship is worth having - you don't know where you stand and are left in limbo waiting for him to make his decision. You're not a doormat and don't deserve to be treated like one. If he wants to date other people, you should tell him to go and get on with it but to stop strnging you along. These feelings he has won't go away - even if he comes back to you he will feel like dating others again in a few months. You need to look after yourself and protect yourself from any unnecessary heartache - and that means letting him know you can't be kept dangling while he makes his decision. XX
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