A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay my problem is that I'm 14, and a freshman at high school and I'm terrified of sex. I recently ended a relationship with my boyfriend, although he did not pressure me for sex I am constantly hearing girls my age losing their virginity. My sister as well who is a year older than me has lost her virginity when she was my age. Although I know I sound very, well... prude, I'm so scared of sex. When I say this I mean, will it hurt? Will my partner not be satisfied with me? Oh and I am not the type to simply give anything away but my sister is constantly making fun of me for being against sex at this age. When I talk to her about it she says "Well if you are going out with the guy for more than 2 months have sex with him or he will break up with you." Honestly, I am smarter than to have a boyfriend that is just using me for sex but I still am curious, what would it be like? Would I regret it? Will I get STD's or get pregnant? I'm so scared. I don't even know why. Please, help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyour right i don't.
but idk im not into sex anymore, i never was but i'll wait.
:)
A
female
reader, little miss helpful  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 yes it most cases it does hurt and in most cases you will bleed however since you are going to wait for mr right not mr right now it will be fine. some people arnt very good the first time and some people have a nak for it lol but since you wil be in a loving relationship they wont care about it.
i am saying all this because i dont want you to rush into it. i know what its like to feel the odd one out all my friends first had sex at a early age i was the only one who waited till i was 18 and in a good relationship.
and yes dont mean to scare you, you can get pregnant (even with protection as it could split) and yes you can catch stds even through just oral sex.
it sounds to me that your friends are just doing as a fashion statement and that is wrong! if i lost my viginity at such a early age like yours i wouldnt be pround of it i would be disgusted with myself.
you wil remember if for the rest of your life dont rush into you will regreat it forever and it wont be a nice memory.
hope you do what you thinks best take care x x
p.s how do you know some of your friends arnt lieing?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): It sounds to me that you are an independent, intelligent and articulate individual. I think when it comes to sex and relationships it is important to trust yourself. When you begin to explore your body and being physically intimate with a partner, there should be a level of confidence in both yourself and your partner. Don’t ever be pressured to do something you are not comfortable with. Stay firm with your boundaries and anyone who is truly interested in you will not only respect the boundaries that you have created, but respect you for having them. When the time is right, you will know- it will be the perfect mix of timing, interest and a partner that values who you are as an individual.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): Don't feel that you should be having sex, it doesn't mean that you are better or more mature than anyone else. the most important thing is that you are comfortable and emotionaly and physically ready for it. it shouldn't be that painful if you are relaxed and confident. Good luck hope it helps
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A
female
reader, Jo-Jo +, writes (10 September 2007):
ok to start with you dont need to be scared, sex is a natural thing, if your not ready to have sex then simply dont do it, many people ask, "how do i know when i'm ready for sex" but the answer will always be "you will know when you are ready". dont rush your self, i was 18 when i first had sex, while i was at school all of my friends would always talk about their sex life and to be quite honest i felt left out, but i'm glad i waited, and with respect to the 2 months, that is aload of rubbish, if a guy truely likes you or maybe even loves you, he will wait until you know you are comfortable and ready. first time sex doesn't hurt as much as you think, infact in 9 out of 10 cases it doesn't hurt at all as long as you are relaxed, but always make sure a comdom is used, but there are other ways of not getting pregnant like taking the pill or the coil, simply see your doctor for more advice on protection.
but seriously dont worry your self and dont ever let any-one pressure you into having sex, just remember its your life, you live it how you want.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Girl U must not pay attention towards your sister saying. Sex must only be done with your life partner and thaz it. Being a n experienced person I would recommend you to wait until u find your life partner.
Well Wisher,
Anonymous.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 September 2007):
 If your scared, you're not ready. Just because everyone else is doing it. Try to be different, and don't follow in the footsteps of everyone else and do it in your own time. Virginity is one thing in life that once it's gone you'll never be able to get it back. Make sure it's right for you, with the right person, then everything else will fall in place.
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Well, if you don't want to have sex, don't, thats pretty simple.And when you do make sure he's using a condom.And as far as guys dumping you after 2 months if you don't have sex with them, that's not true, if he likes you he won't ditch you for not banging him within a two month period, only guys looking for nothing but sex from you would do that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): If you get a boyfriend that really respects you it may be safe after a period of time to have intercourse (with protection) as long as you feel safe and trust him. Your chasity is a precious thing - don't throw it away to a silver-toughned casanova type.
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