How can you justify looking at violent or rape porn?
Q. I don't just mean like being beaten and screaming, I mean the stuff where the woman gets her head shoved in a toilet, where the guy does anything until she cries or gags, etc... Why is that OK to get off on so long as it's not child porn or ...
A. 1 October 2010: I think it's sick no matter how to slice it and I'd be concerned if the man I loved got off on stuff like that. He wouldn't be for me that's for sure. It's not okay in my opinion.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I lied about my past?
Q. I have lied to my boyfriend about my sexual past. I did so early in our relationship out of fear of rejection and judgment, but ever since I have felt absolutely terrible. I told him I had only slept with 2 people, but the truth is that I have slept ...
A. 26 December 2009: Keep it to yourself and forever bury it. Men cannot handle a woman who's had more sexual partners than they have, plus this little white lie will get blown into a huge mess if you tell him now. Just forget about it and next time, either be honest ... (read in full...)
Suffering from retroactive jealousy! Any tips?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 6 months now. We have known each other through work for 3 years prior to getting together. We have an awesome relationship but there is something that still haunts me after 6 months, and that is the ...
A. 26 December 2009: I'd say 30+sexual partners for anyone in their 20's is an extremely high number. It suggests a total lack of self control; someone who seeks approval, or love in all the wrong places, using all the wrong tools, ends up getting used and tossed aside ... (read in full...)
Losing control with teenagers!
Q. A couple of days ago I asked for help with my teenage sons and mentioned that I removed the older from my home due to violence. i had a few good helpful responses. This evening I asked my 15 year to wash his hair. I gave him money for barber...
A. 7 December 2009: Does he have any male role models? You don't mention anything about a father figure, this may be part of the problem. His subsequent anger could be due to some kind of history with you and the dad. Maybe you could seek family counseling, either ... (read in full...)
Trouble gaining closure...
Q. I am having trouble gaining closure with my relationship as I still can't get to grips with the fact that my boyfriend severed contact with me with no explanation after nearly 2 1/2 years together. I don't want people to say 'what a jerk' an...
A. 7 December 2009: He either has serious fear-of-commmittment issues or he was having an affair, hence all the so called late nights "working" and acting distant. I think it was probably the latter. You will have to find your own closure and move on. Don't contact ... (read in full...)
Bored out my skull after nearly 4 years in relationship - please help?
Q. Hey everyone, I've been in a relationship with my Gf for nearly 4 years now and well im starting to become really really fed up of things atm. When we first went out it was cool, we were going out doing the usual things, cinemas meals etc ...
A. 7 December 2009: Maybe you are just taking your angst out on your g/f because in reality your frustrated by the failure of your army career, being stuck at home and basically you don't seem to be in control of your decisions. Or it could be that you've simply ... (read in full...)
Confused about my relationship
Q. I'm 30 years old and very confused. There is a woman I have been dating for six months now. We have a lot of fun and many things in common. We take interest in each other's hobbies and have many of the elements of a good relationship. With the ...
A. 5 December 2009: I think you're freaking out unnecessarily, especially given the fact that you've only been seeing each other for 6 months. Why are you even thinking about marriage at this point? People have lost the ability to date long-term and really get to ... (read in full...)
Is douching unsafe?
Q. What happens after sex, I mean should you wash or is going to the toilet ok. I am never to sure when people say you should douche after sex, I have heard that douching to much can cause UTIs....
A. 16 November 2009: Douching is not safe after sex. Your best solution is to pee afterwards. That flushes you out safely then in a couple of days you can douche but don't do it too often, because those chemicals are not natural and should only be one about once a ... (read in full...)
What are some cheating red flags?
Q. Hello, I have a suspicision that my bf did cheat. He may be doing it still (I doubt it). But something happened and/or he tried. Now I have decided to move forward because I dont have any solid proof and I like to give him the benefit of the d...
A. 16 November 2009: Well you don't say how long you've been together or if your b/f considers your relationship to be "exclusive". Both important factors. As for the signs, yes sometimes its the way he guards his phone, but it's usually other things like; if he says ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting if my boyfriend has a wedding on the day of my birthday and I do not want to attend?
Q. Am I over reacting if my boyfriend has a wedding on the day of my birthday and I do not want to attend? I am not close with the couple that is getting married and my birthday is the only day out of the year that it is all about me. He gives me a ...
A. 16 November 2009: Attending a wedding with your man could be very romantic, even if it's not your wedding. You just have to think out of your box. You both get to dress up; there will probably be plenty of free champagne. There may even be a big dinner and some ... (read in full...)
What does a woman smell like?
Q. i don't want to sound like a jerk or anything, but does a woman's vagina have a bad smell. what does a woman's vagina smell like? The reason i am asking because i don't want to get that far with a woman on pleasing her down there and then find out ...
A. 5 March 2009: A clean vagina will have a slight musky smell, not necessarily flowery or perfumy, but should not smell "bad" either. Think about the smell of your sperm. Musky, earthy etc. Most men like the smell of a woman's vagina as long as she bathes ... (read in full...)
Did my husband cheat on me and gave me a std?
Q. my husband of 21 years told me he had sex with another women 1 month before we got married. when we were married i got pregnant on our honeymoon, after i had the baby i ended up with a std, i was 18 when we got married an was stupid i really did ...
A. 25 November 2008: Your husband is and has always showns signs of someone who's not ready to settle down. Having a sexual fling before his wedding, hitting strip clubs. This is not a man you can trust. He wants his cake and be able to eat her too. Yes, he gave you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wakes up at 4 AM to look at videos on youtube!
Q. My b/f is always looking at videos on youtube. Most of the time he's watching how some guy does hot guitar licks. Sometimes he researches peddle effects and other equipment. But his youtube habit is becoming more and more frequent, sometimes he ...
A. 12 October 2008: I'm sorry but I feel the need to respond to Diovan and Uncle Phil - Actually I don't think the poster said anything about refusing to allow her b/f to "entertain" himself with suggestive videos or other porn. I think what she's saying is that she ... (read in full...)
Should it bother me that my boyfriend still speaks to former sexual partners?
Q. The title question should sum it up nicely, but I guess I'll go ahead and tell a little more depth. While I'm still a virgin, my boyfriend is about a year younger than me, and has had three sexual partners. It doesn't bother me that he's not a ...
A. 4 October 2008: Sounds like these women are his "back up plan" for when things are not going well between the two of you, or he's feeling horny. Men only remain "close" friends with an ex for the sex. In my opinion, there is no place for an ex in the present ... (read in full...)
What is this stuff material around my clit, after sex?
Q. sometimes after i have sex and dnt shower after.. ( which is not often i do btw) i get this white stuff around my clit what is this? it goes away after i shower and its fien. it doesnt hurt or anythin. Please help x...
A. 4 October 2008: It's called SMEGMA (that's the abbreviated version for the very lengthy complicated name physician's actually give it) The bottom line is this; it's harmless and it just means you need to clean inside the folds of your clit more thoroughly. Try ... (read in full...)
How do I tell her to improve her hygiene?
Q. Hi, I have a problem wich is kinda acward... My GF´S... Private part smells realy bad and when im "downstairs", shure i can make it, I made it once but its realy a anticlimax, I cant tell her or suggest she could be a little "cleaner" its just... I ...
A. 4 October 2008: Let's assume she's not suffering from an STD, which can cause a very smelly discharge in the nether region. Because if that's the problem, then she'll need an antibiotic to clear it up (and so will you). But putting that aside, some women have been ... (read in full...)
Why don't my parents love each other like they should?
Q. Help! My family life seems to be going down the drain. My parents have never showed any affection towards each other, not setting a good example for me or my little brother, both of us starting to date. They argue a lot, 16 years of it. My dad has a ...
A. 11 February 2008: Ask them. Maybe it'll help them see themselves the way you see them. You should schedule a family night meeting and tell him how their behavior is affecting you and your brother and ask them to tell you why they treat each other so bad? Maybe ... (read in full...)
How can he say he loves me when he behaves like this?
Q. My husband has damaged our relationship, we have been married for 30 years, recently I discovered he had been watching porn and masturbating to it, he said he would stop and that it was probably due to boredom having been together for so long. Then ...
A. 24 January 2008: You are in a no-win situation because he refuses to get help for his addiction, instead acting like it's your problem. You could fight fire-with-fire. If it were me, I'd start spending alot more time looking at other men, and be open about your ... (read in full...)
How do I handle competition?
Q. I love someone. He loves someone else. She's beautiful. And I've just found out that she has an an amazing voice too. How am i meant to take his attention away from her? She's just using him. I don't want to see him hurt, not again....
A. 23 January 2008: Just wait and be patient. If she's just using him, as you say, then she will grow tired of him and move on to someone else who will bask in her glory. When she does, you'll be there to "pick up the pieces" and perhaps he'll start to see you as ... (read in full...)
I do not have a driver's license yet, thus feel a bit embarassed. Is this a huge deal?
Q. Im almost 30yr old. And Im terrified of driving. So therefore I still haven't obtained my drivers license. Now is this a huge deal breaker for men ??? I don't lie about it but at the same time Im a little ashamed at times so I don't bring it up ti...
A. 23 January 2008: If you signed up for driving classes you'd probably realize it's not so bad afterall. In fact, you may actually like the freedom and independence that comes with being able to go where you want, when you want etc. I think it's time for you to take ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for yrs, my kids love him, my parents love him, but I am not attracted to him - but to someone from my past who came back.
Q. I have been dating a guy for 3 years...my kids love him, my parents love him but really I am not attracted to him...someone from my past has come back into my life and has swept me off my feet....I had doubts about my feelings for my boyfriend ...
A. 8 November 2007: I once married a guy that I wasn't all that attracted to, but I was only 19 years old. If you don't think you are attracted to your b/f why did you start going out with him to begin with? And why have you managed to last 3 years if there was no ... (read in full...)
They split over a year ago, but he's still close w/ his cheating ex! What can I do about my jealousy?
Q. my bf txts his ex constantly. She is a solicitor and helped him gain access to see his son at wkends. i spoke to him and how it makes me feel insecure, her txting him every day and him itching to reply, but waiting till i'm out of the room to do it. ...
A. 18 October 2007: Her texting him maybe once every couple of months, to see how him and his son are doing might be okay. But every day? That's extreme. That's obsessive. That's what I'd call, a man who is not over his ex. Since she cheated on him, she left him ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and shy. I'm too young for bars, so can anyone recommend where I can got to meet women?
Q. Hi there i'm 17 year old male looking for a raltionship... the problem is as i'm only 17 i can't go to bars to meet women. I'm a really shy guy so i was wondering if anyone could recommend any places i can meet girls? also i have a full time job wo...
A. 17 October 2007: At your age you should be able to meet women who work at the same place you do. Or attend the same university you do. If you don't go to college, you might want to consider it -- it will help you achieve a better job down the road, plus it's a ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappily married and recently started an affair. Is this so wrong?
Q. I am unhappily married and i think it is too late. i recently started an affair with a man from my past who is also married. he blows hot and cold. i think we are soul mates and believe i am falling in love. i would be quite happy to stay in my ...
A. 17 October 2007: Affairs never really solve anything, they just make bigger messes of people's lives and families and leave you with tremendous guilt. Considering what you've already been through with your husband, it sounds like it may be time to file for divorce ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me...What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me the day before we had been together for 7 months. [a couple weeks ago] He brought this girl home and kissed her then within 5 minutes was at my house kissing me again. He did not tell me. His 13 year old sister just told...
A. 17 October 2007: You should cut him loose. Men seldom can be faithful at 30 years old, much less at his age. He's too young and immature to devote himself to just one gal. There will be time for that later in your life. It's time to move on.... (read in full...)
Why does my daughter accept his behaviour?
Q. I have a 17 year old daughter who has an very controlling, jealous boyfriend. He left for college and is still controlling her. He tells her where she can work, go, who she can hang out with and even what she can/can't wear sometimes. No one in ...
A. 17 October 2007: Instead of telling her how you feel about her b/f why not take her out to lunch sometime and talk to her woman to woman and simply ask her how she feels about her b/f? How does she feel when he gets jealous, or tells her what to do? Ask her if ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he be the one getting therapy, since he caused the marital problems? Who is in a denial here? Does therapy work? He said it'd be better if I didn't dig back to our issues...
Q. Am I losing my mind. I am so unhappy in my relationship that the only way to keep peace and not to bring up stuff from the past that affects our immediate future is to talk to people with more marital problems than i have and help them solve theirs. ...
A. 17 October 2007: I think you both need couples counseling to understand what's going on in your sex life. It's highly unusualy for a healthy man in this 30's or 40's to only want sex once a month, unless he's depressed, having an affair, or taking some kind of ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks I'm cheating because she wants me to stop this female friend from calling me.
Q. my girlfriend thinks i'm cheating because she wants me to stop another female friend of mine from calling but i said no. How do i convince her i'm not cheating? ...
A. 17 October 2007: Why are you so set on letting another woman come between what you and your g/f have together? And what makes you so sure your so-called female friend isn't trying to cause interference by calling you when she knows you're in a committed ... (read in full...)
I feel I am being used
Q. i have a really attractive boyfriend and he always flirts with other girls. everyone seems to fancy him and he likes it. i have been with him for 2 years and i love him like mad but it seems like he would rather be wit other girls than me.all we ...
A. 17 October 2007: You and your b/f are really both too young to expect that your relationship is going to be permanent or serious. Yes, I think he is using you for sex. Do yourself a favor, and cut him loose. And wait until you're much older before you allow ... (read in full...)
Am I losing the baby?
Q. i found out i was pregnant about a week ago. i started spotting very lightly yesterday. could this mean im having a miscarriage? i have not had any alcoholic beverages since i have found out but i have had a couple cigarettes (i know, im horrible! ...
A. 17 October 2007: Go see your physician. Some spotting is normal during pregnancy, especially at the beginning because your uterus is stretching and there is some breakage of small blood vessels during the process. But if the amount of blood is heavier, it could ... (read in full...)
Rape victim wants to be thought as virgin
Q. Hey. When I Was 13 I Was Raped By A Guy And His Friends 3 Times And I Didnt Tell AnyyOne About It Although I Wish I Had Of Doe But Its Too Late Now. Well Any Wayy When Me And My Friends Are Talking About Boyfriends And Stuff At School They Alwa...
A. 17 October 2007: You are dealing with two problems. Number one, your friends are teasing you about sleeping with your b/f (mainly because they're hoping you'll cough up the details in some sort of juicy story) but this is no one's business but yours. So tell them ... (read in full...)
Something's wrong with me cuz I dumped a loser?
Q. What do you guys think of a 29 year old guy thta lives with his mom and dad, doesn't lift a finger to help his mom around the house who works midnights in a nursing home and is in her 60's, does not work and has not worked in 1.5 years, says ...
A. 17 October 2007: Nope, there's not a thing wrong with you. He's not normal and he will never find a normal, loving woman to spend his life with because he is indeed, a loser. Stay on your path, and keep avoiding him. Contact the police if he becomes threatening ... (read in full...)
I don't understand his language
Q. If a man simply cannot say "I love you" is it possible that he replaces these words with another phrase, such as "It's suppose to rain today so drive carefully."? My guy says this or something similar whenever I tell him I miss him, or I love him or ...
A. 17 October 2007: Men are perfectly capable of telling a women they love them -- when they do. Perhaps he's just not sure yet so he doesn't want to rush into saying something until he's sure. You don't really say how long you've been together but if the ... (read in full...)
I left my husband a year ago because I knew I no longer loved him the way a wife should... but I'm worried he'll talk me into staying
Q. I left my husband a year ago because I knew I no longer loved him the way a wife should. We had grown apart, and I felt no physical attraction for him anymore. But I didn't rush into divorce either because my husband insisted that I wait, hoping ...
A. 17 October 2007: Here's a question I have, how do you deal with a loss of physical/sexual attraction? I've been with my husband 15 yrs. and no longer feel attracted to him. I've read books and listened to cd's about how to heal your marriage, how to fix what ails ... (read in full...)
It's been a couple of days since she said she'd call and no sign of her! Is she playing the "not wanting to seem too eager" game ?
Q. Hi, I met this awesome girl who works at at restaurant about 3 months ago. At that time I had a girlfriend who she met when we cam in to eat. I have now been single for a couple of months and decided to roust up the courage to ask for her number. ...
A. 3 October 2007: No, it doesn't sound like she's playing games to me. It sounds like she had to end up working on a night you had originally planned to go out. Maybe someone called in sick and she had to pull and extra shift. She invited you to come see her that ... (read in full...)
Why does my BF keep his exes on his computer?
Q. hellllllllp!!!i was looking through my mans computer nd found loads of pictures of other girls we go to college with, with the captions 'fit' and 'oooooh'. i also found some of him and his ex girlfriend called 'me and my baby'. iv been with him 6 ...
A. 3 October 2007: Are you kidding me? Men in their 40's don't delete pictures of their exes, why would a guy who's 18-21? He's still in his prime and probably enjoys knowing he's had so many women already. Maybe you could ask him to move them to a thumb drive, or ... (read in full...)
I am shorter than average, and my sisters upset me by hiding my things in places I can't reach. How do I handle it?
Q. I am a shorter than average person,i am 4'11 tall or not so tall.My problem is that my 2 sisters are very abusive to me and i am the older one.This has always been going on especially while growing up.My 2 sisters are 5'8 and 5'9 tall.When my ...
A. 28 September 2007: Buy a step-stool. And by the way, on your post it shows your age to be 41-50 years old. Surely you don't still live at home with your sisters at this age? I'm confused....
... (read in full...)
I think my bf has been hanging out with my ex! It's weird, b/c when I introduced them they didn't get along! This is so odd! What do I do?
Q. Last week a friend of mine told me that my boyfriend has been spending time with my ex-b/f. I asked her if it was true, and she said, yes, she'd seen it several times during the week. I've only introduced my boyfriend to him once, and they ...
A. 28 September 2007: Is he gay?... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea when we marry to have our own bank accounts and have a joint account intended for all of our household budgets/emergency purposes?
Q. im in a relationship for a year now, my bf is great, he is intelligent and very responsible. One night while we're having dinner in a restaurant by the beach we've talked about bank accounts, anyway were both had a good salary from our works. the ...
A. 28 September 2007: I agree. It helps neither of you to feel "dependent" on the other for minor purchases, such a shoes or clothes or cosmetics. If you put ALL your money into a joint account, then one of you has to manage all the money, and the other one will start ... (read in full...)
He misunderstood what I said, and became rather distant. What should I do so that he will meet me when I travel to B next month?
Q. I have known a guy since November 2004 during my trip to Michigan through a friend. He texted me everyday. As he stayed in Michigan and I was in New York, we could not see each other but only communicate through sms or he will call me once a week. ...
A. 28 September 2007: From now on, say what you mean, and mean what you say. You're sending mixed, and confusing messages and I think he backed off because he doesn't really know what you want. You are keeping him at arms distance for your own reasons, more than likely ... (read in full...)
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