Like what
he writes?
... Add *cn to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
|
|
| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
|
20 and never kissed a girl. I'm always told to "be myself," advice, please?
Q. i'm 20, I am a confident person, I'm nice and I have a sense of humour. How many girlfriends have I had - 0. How many have I asked out - 7 I think. I have never kissed a girl let alone had sex and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. One girl sai...
A. 25 September 2007: Congratulations, take it one step at a time. The first time I kissed a girl, I didn't request to see her naked, I would have gotten slapped. I waited until the second time. lol... (read in full...)
I know its wrong, (shes my teacher!)but I am going to win her back!
Q. I know we did wrong but please help me get her back, im 16 now! I cant stop thinking about this teacher. Me n my teacher got on really well then one day we kissed. From then on we kept seeing each other n planned to meet out of school but that ...
A. 25 September 2007: Sometimes you just have to accept the ending to allow someone else to live happy. Take care and good luck to you.... (read in full...)
She's left me, and I'm not sure I believe her reasons why.
Q. She's left me, and I'm not sure I believe her reasons why. She told me it's because she was going away to study and didn't want to "drag out something she didn't think would work". We were together for a year, she was my first love, and it feels ...
A. 25 September 2007: You need to quit thinking that you're not worth it. How can you think low of yourself, when it's the decision she made. I know you're crushed and hurt. If you have doubts with her reason, you're probably right. There's a reason we've been blessed ... (read in full...)
I'm drowning and seriously in need of some good advice!
Q. Ok the short version of this...i am 22 years old... i have been dating this guy for about a year now. we live together but there are some issues...we both have mental issues (depression and stuff liek that) so that alone puts stress on our ...
A. 25 September 2007: I know, that's what life really is about. What can I do today to benefit not only myself but who I chose to be around better. It's your life, you choose how to develop it. I started my development years ago, when I was a drunk, and had children, ... (read in full...)
I know its wrong, (shes my teacher!)but I am going to win her back!
Q. I know we did wrong but please help me get her back, im 16 now! I cant stop thinking about this teacher. Me n my teacher got on really well then one day we kissed. From then on we kept seeing each other n planned to meet out of school but that ...
A. 25 September 2007: No, we do know, it's you who does not. If you had the answers you wouldn't be on here asking the questions in the first place. She's married, she chose to be married and to the person she's married to. No one chose it for her, people marry because ... (read in full...)
I'm drowning and seriously in need of some good advice!
Q. Ok the short version of this...i am 22 years old... i have been dating this guy for about a year now. we live together but there are some issues...we both have mental issues (depression and stuff liek that) so that alone puts stress on our ...
A. 24 September 2007: There's always hope, but there really has to be some serious changes made on both ends. You both need to stop treating each other with control and disrespect.
You both have had relationships in the past which were not too good. You now have a chan... (read in full...)
I'm drowning and seriously in need of some good advice!
Q. Ok the short version of this...i am 22 years old... i have been dating this guy for about a year now. we live together but there are some issues...we both have mental issues (depression and stuff liek that) so that alone puts stress on our ...
A. 24 September 2007: Cheating is a choice. Don't let anyone give you any other excuse. I've heard so many. A girl I know walked in while a girl was going down on her husband, his reasoning "oh honey, it's not what it looks like." The funniest one I heard was where he ... (read in full...)
Might I have a chance later?
Q. hi all, I have decided to bite the bullet and not see him anymore! Im kinda sad about this as he was a huge part of my life for two and a half years! I really need to get on with it and I just dont see friendship with him as something I woul...
A. 24 September 2007: You're not half way there getting over them. People we love, we never get over, we just don't think of them as often.
I want you to look at this as a positive experience. Use this knowledge of your relationship to benefit future ones. You know what... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should go with this guy for my first time?
Q. my best friend lost her virginity in a 1 night stand and hasnt seen him since or even tried to see him, i met him a few weeks later and i now really like him iv tried tellin my friend how i feel and she sed just go for it but shoud i go for it is it ...
A. 24 September 2007: I would have to say NOOOO!!!!!!!!! He sounds like he would be one of those boys who gets you to like him until you're no longer a virgin, then he will no longer have anything to do with you.
Make your decision with a great amount of thought. I woul... (read in full...)
Moods swings from my girlfriend are killing me!
Q. My girlfriend is 5 months pregnant, and it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride. To begin, before she was pregnant she had violent and very aggressive mood swings. She demeaned me in front of some of my friends, ripped one of my shirts, and ...
A. 24 September 2007: Are you saying her behavior before she got pregnant is better. She still has issues. I agree with the other person who posted, you need to get her to a doctor, a mental health doctor. There are 3 disorders I can think off right off that include ... (read in full...)
I know its wrong, (shes my teacher!)but I am going to win her back!
Q. I know we did wrong but please help me get her back, im 16 now! I cant stop thinking about this teacher. Me n my teacher got on really well then one day we kissed. From then on we kept seeing each other n planned to meet out of school but that ...
A. 24 September 2007: If she is married now, she's more than likely not looking for anything serious past her marriage.... (read in full...)
I need to ask this guy to the dance, but how???
Q. Hey. im going to my homecoming dance today. so this is pretty urgent.. Uhm, first off, it is lame not to party after the dance? i'm usually tired after that...and my friend "can't" have a sleepover or anything. i hate that i'm not "part" of...
A. 24 September 2007: "would you care to dance"... (read in full...)
Might I have a chance later?
Q. hi all, I have decided to bite the bullet and not see him anymore! Im kinda sad about this as he was a huge part of my life for two and a half years! I really need to get on with it and I just dont see friendship with him as something I woul...
A. 24 September 2007: You are asking this a half an hour after you've dumped him. If you feel so strong about him, and that he's your sole mate, why dump him in the first place.
Your second chance you'd really have to discuss with him. We don't know about how he feel... (read in full...)
So many guys to choose from!!
Q. The guy i love is 19.. and i'm 15. Ive known him ages and we can tell each other anything, and he always makes me smile,then recently he told me he likes me to. He quit his job to come back to live near me. But hes going to University so we decided ...
A. 24 September 2007: I think you need to take a deep breath. There will always be many to choose from, and you don't have to do it all right now. You seem like a double charged energizer bunny. Take your time, make your decisions carefully, but remember those you don't ... (read in full...)
I want him back in my life?
Q. I was seein a boy who I REALLY liked for 2 months until last week when I finished it. I finished it cos I thought that I was makin all the effort and cos of this I thought that he didnt like me as much as I like him. So I text him saying that I ...
A. 23 September 2007: It sure is easier to end it than it is to get things back to the way it was. Here's the deal, if he did like you before, he might still, but you ended it. If you touch a hot stove and it burns you, how many times do you have to touch it to find out ... (read in full...)
My bf is dating my best friend, secretly but I found out! How do I work this through?
Q. My boyfriend recently broke up with me and only a few days later told my best friend he liked her. She also had feelings for him, but for my sake she tried to hold them back. Unfortunatley this resolution only lasted a few days and they got toge...
A. 23 September 2007: I don't know how many times I say this, it's not OK to date your best friends ex, unless you want what you're going through to happen. Boys come and go, so why mess up a best friend friendship over a boy. It's hard enough as it is to see someone you ... (read in full...)
Help! How I can start to be more assertive??
Q. Every so often about once a month I feel very moody towards my girlfriend and others. The thing is im a nice person and I don't know why I feel this way toward them but I have been talking to my mum about it recently and she may have knocked the ...
A. 23 September 2007: Sometimes it's not something that needs resolved, it's a part of you.
Being assertive is something that is developed. I use to be the same way you are. Working in a truck stop for 6 years changed that. First you have to come to a strong realizat... (read in full...)
I'm drowning and seriously in need of some good advice!
Q. Ok the short version of this...i am 22 years old... i have been dating this guy for about a year now. we live together but there are some issues...we both have mental issues (depression and stuff liek that) so that alone puts stress on our ...
A. 23 September 2007: Honestly if it was me I'd break it off. Neither one of you are ready for this relationship, and especially not to expect it to get better. You should never be controlled. He has not right to dictate what you can do and what you can't. Relationships ... (read in full...)
How do I act confident without coming off as arrogant?
Q. How do I act confident without coming off as arrogant? Don't get me wrong, I don't try to come off as arrogant, but when I'm with women I tend to come off as arrogant, abnoxious, and a bit stuck up. Which basically makes me look like a complete ...
A. 23 September 2007: Practice. Remember the date is not just about you. You may feel good about yourself, but true confidence isn't something said or bragged about, it's a way of being. It's an inner strength that you hold without having to verbally display it.
Try j... (read in full...)
She told me she needed a short break, should I call everything off or wait to see what happens?
Q. Ok. My girlfriend and I have been together for quite a while. I know that she's in love with me and I know that im in love with her. But yesterday she told me that she just needs a break. She told me that right now she's just really stressed out and ...
A. 23 September 2007: I know what you're going through. I've been there. It took the hurt away too, from me. She even asked for another chance down the line, I kindly said, I love you, but I just can't be with you.
You take care... (read in full...)
I feel so alone, and tired of people not treating me properly...
Q. i dont know what to do, i feel really depressed. the bloke i loved dumped me by ignoring my calls. my last 3 relationships ended by my partners hand. i'm finding my new job really hard my boss doesnt seem to like me. other people have picked up on ...
A. 23 September 2007: First let me tell you , don't run. It's OK to be fed up. I have read many questions and have talked with quite a few people. I have talked with people all over the world, and have given advice to many people too. Take where you're from. We have some ... (read in full...)
At first HE had lower sex drive, now I do, maybe because his not wanting it as frequent in the beginning has affected me?
Q. I have been dating my bf for 5 years. When we first started dating, I wanted to have sex non stop but he did not feel the same. Now he wants to have sex more often and I don't really feel the same way. I think subconsciously I have taken his not ...
A. 23 September 2007: You could be right. I'm not going to discount what you'd said because that can happen the way you said it. I am going to give you a second angle to look at.
Girls peak before boys, they reach their "i can't get enough" stage before the boys do.... (read in full...)
I'm sleeping with a boy who is not my bf, how can I sort out who I like and what to do?
Q. hi. im 15 and have been with my boyfriend now for just over a year but i think i have fallen out of love with him already, we have been sexually active for 7 months and i have got to admit we are alright in that department but i just cant love him ...
A. 22 September 2007: You need to end it with one of them now. It is OK to feel the way you do, but it is not OK and will never be OK to begin a relationship before ending one. What you're doing being with the other one is causing harm to your boyfriend. It is never OK ... (read in full...)
My bf told me he slept with a married woman 14 years ago, should we continue this if our moral compasses are so far apart?
Q. My boyfriend slept with a married woman about 14 years ago at work. He wants to forget about it but since he has told me, it practically broke up the relationship because it is something I would NEVER do (I've always thought people who do this are ...
A. 22 September 2007: You are behaving irrationally. You need to cut it loose. As far as your moral compass, if he's almost perfect, they can't be that far off. This is 14 years ago, and his behavior at that time has nothing to do with you or who he is now or his moral ... (read in full...)
She told me she needed a short break, should I call everything off or wait to see what happens?
Q. Ok. My girlfriend and I have been together for quite a while. I know that she's in love with me and I know that im in love with her. But yesterday she told me that she just needs a break. She told me that right now she's just really stressed out and ...
A. 22 September 2007: can't answer we don't know you or her enough to tell if she's sincere or not. you believe she is, so go with what your gut tell you.
I will say this though in general. Why do we take breaks? We get them at school, work, and now they've moved on... (read in full...)
How do I tell if he's just being a friend or if he likes me? How do I let him know I like him?
Q. How do I tell my male friend that I like him more then a friend? Ive known him since Feb this year, met him at university. But at the time i had a bf. We dindt get that close until my relationship with my bf ended about 2 months ago. Then he sta...
A. 22 September 2007: There is no real key to making moves. I would say just let him know. Do it in a way that isn't uncomfortable. What I would do is during conversation, just briefly change the subject and say "I've been meaning to ask you something" wait for answer ... (read in full...)
How do I dirty up my married sex life?
Q. I want to be really dirty and do dirty things during sex w/ my husband but we're both too shy. When we first started sleeping together I was drunk, and I had him talk dirty to me, and I let loose. Now I am pregnant (again) so I feel really ...
A. 22 September 2007: All I can offer is just do it. Get the sitter again, you plan the night. He just has to show up to the date. It only takes a bit of initiating. Be creative, give him an invitation to your party. Don't tell him what to expect, by giving hints but not ... (read in full...)
20 and never kissed a girl. I'm always told to "be myself," advice, please?
Q. i'm 20, I am a confident person, I'm nice and I have a sense of humour. How many girlfriends have I had - 0. How many have I asked out - 7 I think. I have never kissed a girl let alone had sex and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. One girl sai...
A. 22 September 2007: Just be yourself. The best advise you can be given. The reason is, if they know who they are getting involved with, theirs no room for misleading. Don't use corny pick up lines. I read a survey about 5 years ago, on pick up lines. The one that was ... (read in full...)
Does he fancy me and have I made it obvious that I like him??
Q. hi,im a 20 year old female and im rather confused at the moment...i seem to be highly attracted to "pretty boys" one in particular i went to primary school with. i moved towns when i was 11 and lost touch.however,recently around a year and a half ...
A. 22 September 2007: My advice to you is when you see him next, grab him and give him a big smooch. That way he won't have to use comments to get you to react. You're shy, you said you were being sort of hidden as to how you felt with him. When he's not getting a ... (read in full...)
In a gay relationship with a girl and attracted to her roommate. I don't know who to choose.
Q. Attracted to two people???? Where do I start? First of all, I'm bisexual and right now I am in a relationship with a female. I think she is a great girl and we have a lot in common. We both have admitted to one another that we're very compatible. ...
A. 22 September 2007: I'd say take them both, but that would be wrong. Look at your feelings, you're with one, yet attracted to another one. Do you just have an attraction, or is love involved with either one? If it's just attraction, let me give you a quick statistic. ... (read in full...)
She cheated on me when drunk, she doesn't know I know. She says I'd have to get used to her, because that's the way she is.
Q. hi im have a problem with my girlfreind in that she drinks a lot of alchohol and even drinks in the morning on vodka, she smokes,does canabis, and will out drink most men!, and has cheated on me when drunk although she doesnt know i know. but she ...
A. 22 September 2007: Say, get use to me GOODBYE. That's hard to do, but you'll get different reactions. First she'll keep doing what she's doing, and you'll end up finding someone who treats you right. Second, she's going to be shocked, because she'll realize she can ... (read in full...)
She's left me, and I'm not sure I believe her reasons why.
Q. She's left me, and I'm not sure I believe her reasons why. She told me it's because she was going away to study and didn't want to "drag out something she didn't think would work". We were together for a year, she was my first love, and it feels ...
A. 22 September 2007: it is normal to feel that way. what we aren't able to do is prompt the decision of others. they have their minds, their reasons, and their decisions. sometimes those decisions affect others, but we have to respect them.
I'd just give her some time... (read in full...)
Am I paranoid or is this unusual, that she never mentions me in conversations with the ex? She's used to being treated poorly from previous relations, could this be a factor?
Q. Quick question: I have been dating my girlfriend for nearly 5 months. I have never been so happy with a woman before and she has told me that in her eyes, it is love at first sight and wants to marry. Here is my problem: her ex boyfriend of...
A. 22 September 2007: It's not the ex's business. If he was that much of a threat, she really has no reason to contact him either, unless they share children. I don't like my ex's knowing my current relationship. That's for a couple of reasons. They have no business ... (read in full...)
I love him, he has some family and health problems and it's difficult to talk as he's not allowed to call.
Q. were both 14 ok his parents are divorced, his mom's in another city while he lives here with his dad who's currently getting another divorce separating him from his 2 brothers; hes having trouble in school his best friend turned against him with...
A. 22 September 2007: First I want to say, my heart goes out to him. That has to be real difficult going through two divorces, and being separated from siblings. As a lawyer states: When a child is involved in a divorce, the parent's don't need a lawyer they need a ... (read in full...)
Tips on staying on top? I'm embarassed when me and my bf have sex, as I'm still not experienced despite of my relations with men.
Q. im really embarassed about this question! ive been with my boyfriend for a year and ive been with over 15 men but im still not experienced with sex! i feel really emabarassed when me and my bf have sex! ive never been on top and wouldnt have a clue ...
A. 22 September 2007: So you're saying you don't have open communication in your relationship. You know that might cause problems. Do you think people learn just be being tossed into different positions.
Being on top, the only tips I have for you is, if he's just layi... (read in full...)
Does he like me or is just using me?
Q. Hi i'm 13-14 years old and there is this guy i've like for 6 years and he always hugs me and stuff and even feels me and touches me etc sometime he kisses me anyways everytime he does that i like it but he then goes on about other girls who he ...
A. 22 September 2007: Nope, you're leaving yourself open for this treatment. You allow him to kiss you, feel you and touch you, without establishing yourself with him. If you like him, tell him. Ask him if he will be your boyfriend. If you don't he may consider you to be ... (read in full...)
How do you meet the good guys? I thought deep inside he was good, despite of the abuses. Since leaving him I only met red flag guys...
Q. I dated this guy for 4 years. He was emotionally and physically abusive, he cheated on me. And yet I still believed that deep in his heart there had to be good. Eventually I just had to leave him. I knew that I deserved more. I am a good person and ...
A. 22 September 2007: You story is inspiring, I'll tell you, you've done something so many people have not figured out. Being happy for yourself. That is great, and it's also why you get the red flags. When you are happy being alone, you notice behaviors in people that ... (read in full...)
I fell in love with the boy my friend had a one night stand with, and she says she loves him. What should I do?
Q. My best friend lost her virginity in a 1 night stand after telling the boy she was'nt a virgin and has never tried to contact him since, i met him a few weeks later and fell in love with him and now shes saying she has feelings for him. what should ...
A. 22 September 2007: Remember friends are forever, boys come and go. Don't let a boy come in between your friendship. That is too important. I don't know how much you read the questions on here. Someone asked a question in regards to not being able to forgive their ... (read in full...)
Can't understand why he didn't contact all week, when after 4 dates he was enthusiastic to invite me to see his house up north.
Q. This guy came up to me in a club and liked me and wanted my number and wanted to meet the next day. I couldn't I was on holidays for a week, the next Sunday he wanted to know if I was out the night before and called me to invite me over. I did, ...
A. 22 September 2007: Give him past the weekend, since he's in a wedding (hopefully not his own.) Just wait until he gets back to see if he contact you. If not, leave an update on here, then maybe we can answer the question. There's not enough history to tell. I don't ... (read in full...)
Is it fair to stay with the boy I'm with when I'm in love with my ex?
Q. I was with a boy for a year and i fell in love with him but i made a mistake and ended it and now he wont take me back, its been 6 months since we broke up and iv tried everything to move on i'm even in a relationship right now but i cant stop ...
A. 22 September 2007: Your sort of young to understand this. I have teen girls too, and I know you all think you're a walking relationship encyclopedia.
I tell it like this. My ex, and daughters mother, lives over 800 miles away. I still love her. I do have my daug... (read in full...)
I feel like a babysitter instead of a partner - now I'm crushing on someone from my past! What do I do?
Q. Im really confused. i have a boyfriend who i have been with for three years, we have three children, 1 which is mine and two that are his, we have none together. the mother of his two sees their children one a week for a couple of hours. all of...
A. 22 September 2007: I'm not going to assist much with this. There are children involved and I don't know you well enough to affect their lives. I will tell you this though. I have two children who live with me and two who do not. The two who do not, my wife and I ... (read in full...)
He went to jail for getting me pregnant - I lost the baby and we split. Now we're together and I'm pregnant again, but he won't tell anyone about us!
Q. ok i have a question quick insite i was pregnant and lost my baby when i was about 4 months along due to stress and everything as my boyfriend was in jail for 2 months for having sex with me i was 16 and he was 20 at the time im now 17...
A. 22 September 2007: You're first sentence says it all. I don't know what's going with him, but I do know if he tells everyone, if one person slips to the wrong person, back to jail for him. You don't want that, and I bet that would not be on his top things to do list ... (read in full...)
I told him about a rape fantasy I had which he said he liked, but he wanted something darker/dirtier.
Q. I feel somewhat embarrased to write this but from reading some of the responses, perhaps someone can help me. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship right now and we're both pretty sexual people and into various aspects of BDSM. ...
A. 22 September 2007: It's up to you how far you go. Don't do anything past your boundaries. That's all the advice I have. I'm real old fashion, my fantasies are simple, that maybe sometime in my life, I might have sex again. Of course choosing to live single, and date ... (read in full...)
He wants a girlfriend who isn't so boring or nags so much!!.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and a half... we have lived together for over a year now. I love him very much and we have a great time but sometimes I feel unhappy because it seems like he isn't the same person I fell in love ...
A. 22 September 2007: Loving him with all you have does not change behaviors, if he is not willing to change. Take a couple of minutes and view your story, but think about it as you're reading it for the first time. You can even pretend it's someone else and not you, ... (read in full...)
I was told I was a Psycho just like his ex girlfriends - What do I do as this has me really upset and I feel so hurt.
Q. I told my boyfriend that I was not happy about him going into a strip club in Prague on a stagnite, I didn't say don't go, I said I wasn't happy as a reply from him I was told I was a Psycho just like his ex girlfriends - What do I do as this has me ...
A. 22 September 2007: Which type does he see you as. Someone who lacks empathy or conscience, maybe someone who has poor impulse control or manipulative behavior. It he called you one, he must know which definition applies to you.
Now, let's look at his behavior. He h... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy to "babe watch" even being committed?
Q. Is it normal for the guys to go out and " babe watch" even if the guy is in a committed relationship? also, why does it upset so much when he looks at other women? should I tell him how I feel? of should I just let him look and say nothing?...
A. 22 September 2007: Yes it's normal for men to look at other women. Just as it's normal for women to look at other women too. It's normal for you to get upset also. You think he's comparing to you, when he is not doing that. Women have been looked at as a symbol of ... (read in full...)
Should I shave "down there" for him?
Q. I'm 15 and I wanna let a guy go down there. I want to shave but I don't because I don't have the right equipment and I don't wanna pay the consequences. The boy I'm planning it with really likes me and I like him and I know he really does because ...
A. 22 September 2007: Don't you have parents to ask for this kind of advise?
Shaving or not shaving is the womans choice. It's due to your comfort, and how you feel, not how any guy feels.... (read in full...)
Is she still thinking of me....?
Q. Hi, Please let me know something. I am broken up with my girlfriend. We had an intense love, but now we've moved on. It's been 4 months since the breakup, 2 months since last contact. The last contact she said at the end of her e-mail, "I'll be ...
A. 22 September 2007: The memory of the time you spent will be lifelong. As far as her thinking the same as you, it depends. If it was as intense as you say it was, I'm sure you cross her mind.... (read in full...)
Tonight my ex (who I care about more than anyone) told me how she slept with a guy we were talking to today for a one night stand...
Q. Well as I post this I just suffered a terrible night. Tonight my ex (who I care about more than anyone) told me how she slept with a guy we were talking to today for a one night stand, and she told me that I mean everything to her and am her best ...
A. 22 September 2007: First, please give a bit more information. I understand your pain, I've been through similar trials in my life. How long were you together for? What was the relationship you had with her like? How did you go from being a couple to not being a ... (read in full...)
I feel like a babysitter instead of a partner - now I'm crushing on someone from my past! What do I do?
Q. Im really confused. i have a boyfriend who i have been with for three years, we have three children, 1 which is mine and two that are his, we have none together. the mother of his two sees their children one a week for a couple of hours. all of...
A. 19 September 2007: Talk to your boyfriend. Nobody can tell you which way to take your heart. If you're willing to have your child grow up in a broken home for a relationship than go with it. You need to think about what you have now, compared to what you could have. ... (read in full...)
| *cn's friends
These are mutual friends, so *cn has
added them and they have added *cn!
|
