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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 13 October 2007: He only "looks". So his appearance is youthful compared to actual.... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 12 October 2007: If you keep looking at these old people, you might consider having your eyes checked. ... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 7 October 2007: My girl is about your age. I asked her what she thought about having a crush on her teachers. She said eeeeeeewwwwwwwww. lol
You crack me up. ... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 5 October 2007: I think without having everyone else around yet, he just wasn't at the point of becoming grumbling. He has a right to grumble, being a Drivers Ed teacher. Have you seen how people drive? Heck by the time he gets to school, he's probably picked out ... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 5 October 2007: You know, someday as you mature more, your going to look at your teacher and say "he is old" and wonder why you looked at him in the first place. lol
You said once you would find a guy around your age. Take your eyes off the teacher, look arou... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 4 October 2007: Thank you very much for saving us from the other thing. lol Is there any time you don't stare at the teacher. Can't even keep your mind on the pledge. ... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 3 October 2007: You take care. ... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 2 October 2007: It's important to separate "paying attention". I don't think he has an affectionate interest for your friend either. ... (read in full...)
I think I am depressed
Q. I think I am depressed.. I get upset over the littlest things, always crying about anything n everything... when I get upset I either eat loads(and I have gained loads weight) or eat nothing (terrible stretch marks from putting weight on n off)...
A. 30 September 2007: I still recommend seeing a doctor. The reason it's important, depression is not a disorder where you take two aspirin and call me in the morning. It's an actual off balance within your neurotransmitters.
Here is a site I found for you. It's a s... (read in full...)
Do I move back in with my ex, or will it just make things worse?
Q. I am in financial dire straits. Going throu a divorce. Ex Boyfriend has offered my kids and I a place to stay. I don't want to exchange one problem for another. I am currenlty temping. Not making enough to see to my basics. Debts are piling ...
A. 29 September 2007: Has your ex-boyfriend said anything about getting back together, or just offering a place to stay. He may care for you and want to help without having sexual intentions.
I allowed my exwife to stay with me for 1 month, while she started a new jo... (read in full...)
She tells me she has an std, and then blames me.
Q. Dear cupid, I have been married for a month now my wife came to me and said she had caught an std and the way she said it was like she was blaming me i have not been with any other women and she claims she hasn't been with any other men i think she'...
A. 29 September 2007: I'd ask her, if you haven't been with anyone other men, than where do you believe you contracted this std.
Did she say she "caught" an std, or you "gave" me an std. If someone has a cold, and then we catch the cold we usually state "I've caught your... (read in full...)
Is he just scared of getting hurt again?
Q. i have been talking to a guy for two years now and we got on from the start,i really like him and have done since i first started talking to him.he says we have a special friendship as we have been intimate over the phone and i have told him i ...
A. 29 September 2007: Two comments to look at (1) special kind of friends. (2) I didn't ask you to wait for me.
I don't think he's ready for a relationship. I don't even know if he's considering a relationship any time soon. I didn't ask you to wait for me is saying, ... (read in full...)
Daughters away for the weekend, can you give me some advice on a fun time for me and my wife please.
Q. Hi me and my wife have been married nearly 8 years and have a good relationship. Our daughter is going on a trip with college tonight and won't be back until tuesday night, so we have the house all to ourself and tomorrow, perfect time for lots of ...
A. 29 September 2007: I would say to give her an invitation. You plan it she just has to be there for it. Don't reveal before. Have it read something like:
We've been together for 8 wonderful years
You have been so good to me as a partner,
mother, and best friend.... (read in full...)
I don't know what's going on at the moment.
Q. Hi - my boyfriend has emigrated to Australia (since May) and although he wants me to join him he is currently texting me at 3am, 4am (his time) from bars at least once or twice a week. I have asked him whether he would like it if I went out ...
A. 29 September 2007: Don't rebel. Won't you feel bad if you did, because that behavior is not what you would normally do Then you would have him, not feeling guilty, and you feeling abandoned for what he's doing now, and guilt for what you'd do for rebellion. Two for ... (read in full...)
Why does being good looking make you so miserable?
Q. this is going to sound unbelievably arrogant but i assure you this is a genuine problem i have and i am genuinely asking for advice because it is really hard and upsetting me. i think i am too good looking. i know i am attractive, and guys ask for ...
A. 29 September 2007: Unfortunately looks in society are a big issue. Look at Tv commercials. Bikini women for 28 seconds, then a beer can at the end. Come on, are they selling beer or prostituting women.
I'm sorry you're miserable. People can be ugly themselv... (read in full...)
I'm worried she wont want me back, because she has many male friends! Advice?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have split up we have been together 2 years and 8 months i have been very jealous in the past because she met this guy on the internet who has told her he loves her, she insists she doesnt feel the same and is just a friend i am ...
A. 29 September 2007: My views are 3's a crowd. She doesn't have respect for you, if she can't respect your feelings. Telling you, if you can't handle it we're over.
We all have a past, we have people who we were close to in our past. When dating someone, those wh... (read in full...)
2 years together. I had to go to New Zealand for a while, and she cheated. Now she's really mean towards me. Do we have a chance at all??
Q. Hi My now ex and me had been dating for 2 years and known each other for 7 years (since she was 14). She was always really into me and talked about marriage and kids and how much she loved me and couldnt be with anyone else. She has had a few b/...
A. 29 September 2007: I would back off for a while. If it's not in her normal behavior to be a cheat, questioning her about it is bringing up something that she's probably wanting to bury. I think her behavior may have changed partially because of guilt. It does hard ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else think this guy is taking things too fast?
Q. Hi! Sorry...this may be a bit long but I just want to give everybody a bit of bakground info :) I met this amazing guy over the summer. Let me start by stating that I’m 24 and he’s 22, so this isn’t some high school summer love. He was just pass...
A. 29 September 2007: Your crazy for each other, go with your heart. What is it telling you to do. Some people advance quickly. It's not wrong, just make sure before you do, the questions you asked are answered.
It really is not a guy thing. And sometimes when it's just... (read in full...)
I'm troubled by something my girlfriend did in the past...
Q. Me and my gf have been in our relationship for almost three years... i'm aware that in almost every relationship the past comes up. The thing is, my past doesn't bug her as much as hers does me... We both had boyfriends in our pasts but she told me ...
A. 29 September 2007: So you're saying you both had boyfriends in the past? So is this the only incident that makes you jealous, not any of the other boyfriends?
Is it be cause of the boy? The place? or being spontaneous?
We can sometimes find jealousy when our par... (read in full...)
I'm hanging out my my crush tomorrow even though I have a bf! I don't know what to do!
Q. Okay guys, I love this sight for your answers to my questions - Now PLEASE Help!!!! Okay, today I was in a store with my mom and I saw my friend whom I haven't seen in a VERY long time and in that duration of long time, we both had a thing for each...
A. 29 September 2007: Take this to heart:
Never leave someone you love for someone you like because someone you like will leave you for someone they love.... (read in full...)
I am kind of seeing my married, older boss and want to take it further, sexually
Q. My boss at work flirts with me a lot and I know he likes me and I like him. But hes married with a kid. He is not married to the mother of his daughter tho, but he is married. We have made out and fooled around a little. I know that if we went any ...
A. 29 September 2007: Are you that selfish. He's married so NO! He has a child so NO! He's your boss so NO!
A plausible situation if one person finds out. He losses his job, he looses his child (adultery is grounds for a custody change), He looses his wife. And for what... (read in full...)
In a new relationship, but still horribly in love with my ex-boyfriend!
Q. I really love my Ex boyfreind and i'v tried everything to move on, i'm in a relationship right now and my boyfriend knows how i feel about my ex. I think about my ex all the time and everything reminds me off him, i cant seem to get over him and ...
A. 29 September 2007: You sound like you're out of order. We associate what's common to us with how we spent it. You're associating activities with your ex, because that's someone you enjoyed them with.
It's very important to complete the healing process, before b... (read in full...)
My don't remember cheating, but my gf split w/ me b/c of it! And now there's someone else who likes me! Any advice with both problems?
Q. Hey. I am 18; my girlfriend has just broken up with me. She broke up with me because I kissed another girl. I don’t remember cheating on her (I was really drunk), but apparently I did. I understand that I lost her trust but I feel like I didn't ...
A. 29 September 2007: I'd wait until you got over some of your hurt. It's not fair to either of you if you enter the relationship with the hurt. All that will happen is it will interfere with having a successful relationship.
It's good that you accept what had happ... (read in full...)
I've only ever had one relationship
Q. Very trivial, but I hate how long it's been since I last had sex. It's been.. Almost 5 months. I've only ever had one relationship, and it lasted about a year and a half. I still have a lot of feelings for my ex (and PLEASE don't just assume that...
A. 29 September 2007: Almost a year. ... (read in full...)
I think I am depressed
Q. I think I am depressed.. I get upset over the littlest things, always crying about anything n everything... when I get upset I either eat loads(and I have gained loads weight) or eat nothing (terrible stretch marks from putting weight on n off)...
A. 29 September 2007: Do you have ability to see a psychologist there? Before answering your question, I took a few moments to look up and cross match your symptoms against a mental health book. Your symptoms are a match to "Major Depressive Disorder". It really isn't ... (read in full...)
He didn't explain what was going on.
Q. Hi, I'm 21, female and I met a guy a few months ago at work. I asked him to go out and we went out a few times. We went for drinks at the bar. But he always waited for me to ask him to do things. After a while he seemed more interested and started ...
A. 29 September 2007: You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry this happened. You friend is whipped, and I'm sure his girlfriend had something to do with the email you got. I would honor his request. There's nothing you can really do. It would be OK to send a verification email ... (read in full...)
If I do the bad guy thing
Q. I am 21 soon id like to think I know a bit since I had a crap life my girlfriend cheated on me and I gave her a 2nd chance and she cheated on me with 2 guys at the same time why do things like this happen to nice guys. Well I don’t think I am a ...
A. 29 September 2007: Don't change yourself to get a girl. That's doing it under false pretenses and it won't work out.
Beginning with the relationship you described and other previous ones, do a relationship inventory. First list the qualities that attracted you to t... (read in full...)
How long does someone wait?
Q. I was dating a guy for about six months. Everything was wonderful. He had been divorced for about 9 years and me 10. We have much in common, including work, religious views, money etc. One night, he got quite and told me that he has been in love ...
A. 29 September 2007: Leave him. Why do you think you deserve to stay with someone who is waiting to see what someone else is doing. This is what you're up against. I'd tell him this is what you're up against, goodbye, hope it works out with the married woman.
You don'... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't love me, but I'm hoping his feelings will change. Am I being unrealistic? What should I do?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a guy who doesn't love me. He cares for me and how I feel, but he is not emotionally attached to me. This is my first relationship in 10 years, I am hoping that in time his feelings will change. Am I being unrealistic? ...
A. 29 September 2007: you're not being unrealistic. love comes in different paces for different people. i'd say wait a little and see if he begins showing more of an emotional attachment... (read in full...)
The guy I'm seeing has been gone for a week, but now he's back in town...and he hasn't called me! What should I say and do?
Q. i started seeing this guy i dont know exactly what it is about him that made me like him a lot. But he's great. i dont know what's been wrong with everything lately. like, i've always given the guy space whenever he needed it. i guess i've always b...
A. 29 September 2007: OK, you said you're relationships go to crap? Do you take time to really think about what you want in a partner? Usually if history is like a broken record, it's not because of them. Figure out what it is about them that is common. Personality, ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to my roommate even though I've been straight my whole life! What should I do? Am I gay?
Q. hi.. i have been straight all my life.. but lately, i think i'm attracted to my friend, who is also my roommate. i so wanted to kiss her. but then, i know for a fact that she's not gay. i'm scared that she wouldn't kiss me back.. or worse, that i ...
A. 29 September 2007: no it doesn't make you gay. your feelings are normal. look at women, they're beautiful. men look at women, and i've never dated a women who didn't at least look at them and compare against themselves. ... (read in full...)
Should my friend and I have sex the night we get drunk? We're both virgins and I've never had a bf!
Q. So me and my best friend steven and i are spending the night at our older friends house this saturday night.both of our parents think we're spending the night at someone elses house.We're gonna drink,and get drunk,he's my best friend in the whole ...
A. 29 September 2007: Doesn't anyone talk to their parents about these kinds of issues.
You need to weight it out. Is sex important for the possibility of losing a friend? It's not absolute but it has happened. I've talked to many people who their first they claim wa... (read in full...)
My ex sent me a nasty poem. I have so much going on in life at the moment, I struggle to cope with it. Any advice please?
Q. umm...there's been alot going on in my life lately and its hard for me to keep track of sanity besides still beign in love with my best friend [who claims is not gay] really liking my best friends ex. [he told me he loved me and he kissed me and ...
A. 29 September 2007: Stay away from him. Personally attacking someone such as that, just say NO. Tell them you have too much going on, and with the sweet poem when it comes to them, you'll always have too much going on. That poem was uncalled for. They may be hurt, but ... (read in full...)
I think he likes me but I don't like to make the first move? Help please!
Q. Hiya everyone cannn u help me out please? I've known this lad for a few week now and he's really really nice. He talks to me looadds over the net but in school it's really awkward!! I really like him and i can't tell if the feeling is mutual, h...
A. 28 September 2007: go real him in, you're waiting for the fish to jump into the boat when it's on the line. you don't make the first move, try it. did you ever think that maybe guys like being the one who's chased, instead of being the one who chases? ... (read in full...)
Will my partner love our future baby as much as his child from a previous relationship?
Q. Will my partner love our future baby as much as his child from a previous relationship? Hi, me and my wonderful partner are trying for a baby getting married and moving to a bigger place and i couldn't be happier but he has a lovely 5 year old son ...
A. 28 September 2007: As a father myself, I couldn't see with the relationship you described that your child would receive different treatment.... (read in full...)
Did offering my girlfriend the world bore her, and make her want to search for a "Challenge" elsewhere???? Do Women really think this way!?!?!?!?
Q. I lost my girlfriend after 3 happy years together. I'm the type of guy who would have done anything for her. Moved the stars themselves just to be with her... And yet, I've recently heard that maybe this was why she left me! According to a ...
A. 28 September 2007: I'd tone it down a bit. Girls love to be loved, feel loved, appreciated, and taken care of, but they also treasure their independence.
There are some girls that like the bad boys, but not all of them. I think you just over did the love. Too much... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriends boss fancy her?
Q. Help, I need more advice. I think my girlfriend might be cheating with her boss. Recently it's come to my attention that her new boss has been texting my lady late at night. She dosen't know I've seen them and as soon as she reads them she deletes ...
A. 28 September 2007: I think a few things. I don't think you're out of line for considering in the directions you have. There's not enough information here to consider an affair, but is for some flirt type behaviors. I think if you have concerns you should bring them up ... (read in full...)
She's 19, married, and wants to give her husband a 2nd chance.. But I want her to be mine
Q. Ever have this feeling, if so what'd you do? met a girl, she's everything i'd ever want... our chemistry is amazing, like we were meant for each other... we make each other happy... but she's 19, no kids, married and is gonna give him anot...
A. 28 September 2007: The best thing to do is back off. Let her find her way. If you push too hard against her desire to find out, you'll loose her permanently.... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 28 September 2007: Take care, i wish you the best for your future.... (read in full...)
My ex assulted me. How do I move on from this?
Q. hi there my ex partner assulted me 2 weeks ago and when i mean assulted he has been admitted to crown court for abh charges. its just that i feel like he is haunting me, he has already put me on that many sites and filled in profiles on me. im on s...
A. 28 September 2007: Do not go to the police with this, they deal with criminal type behaviors. Do you have any higher offices than the police there. I would check your laws. Here there is something called libel which is publishing false information in writing which can ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to use anything else apart from a vibrator? If so what?
Q. is it safe to anything else other than a vibrator or dildo as a self pleasuring measure - if so what? i haven't got a bf at the mo and am a really horny!! any advice would be great. anonymous...
A. 28 September 2007: I was going to say, using a boy might work for you. I really don't understand women. They're worried about self pleasure. Men have such a hard time finding a women, let along have sex. Women have all these little gadgets, toys, fruits, veggies, etc, ... (read in full...)
I'm not coping with my past abuse and its affecting my relationship. Help!
Q. Hello, I am a 29 year old male living with my fiancee. I am really struggling with my past abuse, and while she, too was abused, it did not affect her in so many ways as it has with me. I have come to realize that I do not really know what it means ...
A. 28 September 2007: This has to be a very difficult way to live. I really wonder if the abusers realize the long term detriment they cause others?
This is going to be a process. First let's look at the pain. I know our conscious and subconscious have many areas, d... (read in full...)
We're on break, but he's still excited to go apartment searching for US! What should I do?
Q. So i tried to talk to my boyfriend last night, to have that neutral conversation. So that way he can tell me how he feels annd how i feel. IT backfired! He can never tell me hows hes feeling really. This is what i got from hhim: "I feel rushed with ...
A. 28 September 2007: As I said you need to ask him. If he's not opening up with his feelings, ask the right questions and the answers will come.... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 28 September 2007: Only 3. Find a boy your age to go out with, you never know he may become a teacher when you guys are adults.... (read in full...)
We're on break but he says we're not postponing the holidays together, already reserved. I'm confused.
Q. ok I have a gourgeous boyfriend who I thought adored me. We've been arguing over little and big things for a while- not least having to postpone our 2 week holiday to Thialand due to a washed passport. I'm 27, he's 29 and has a 10 year old son. We...
A. 28 September 2007: I agree with the other poster. Tell him sorry can't make the trip. You're on a break, that means anything that is planned between both of you during that time, now becomes solo plans. That's almost like people who break it off. One is not ready for ... (read in full...)
We're on break, but he's still excited to go apartment searching for US! What should I do?
Q. So i tried to talk to my boyfriend last night, to have that neutral conversation. So that way he can tell me how he feels annd how i feel. IT backfired! He can never tell me hows hes feeling really. This is what i got from hhim: "I feel rushed with ...
A. 28 September 2007: It sounds to me like he is under stress. Let me ask you this. If he's under stress, and takes a break from the relationship, isn't that saying, "the relationship is causing the stress?" Now as far as knowing what men are thinking. Listen... (read in full...)
Do men run to arms of a stranger for the sexual "escape" when they are under stress, instead of being with their partners? Is my bf going to cheat and blame it on the "stress" ?
Q. When my b/f is stressed out about work, he tends to not want sex. Okay, I can understand that, I know stress can affect a person's sex drive sometimes, but recently during one of those stressful phases, my b/f e-mailed a female friend and made a r...
A. 28 September 2007: men, men, men you sure do generalize people into single categories. i'm a man, and wouldn't do that. Cheating is a choice. It's not a behavior caused by some other feeling or action. If he did this it would be a choice he made, and a violation ... (read in full...)
Can I legally move out of state with my kids?
Q. I am thinking about moving to a different state with my children to "start over". The problem is that my husband and I are only separated, not divorced yet. He is abusive but I have never legally filed a complaint against him. Can I legally leave ...
A. 28 September 2007: Is you're husband agreeing with this move?
Most states have a residency requirement, for the purpose of filing divorce. They do this so people don't move far away that their spouse can't afford to cause harm to them. The states range from 6 m... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 28 September 2007: Do you have any crushes on students? Why teachers?... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 28 September 2007: Yea, I hope you work through this. And just to think bringing an apple use to be enough. lol Enjoy your childhood, even if it was legal, which it's not, you don't want to get involved with adult issues. I don't even want to get involved with adult ... (read in full...)
I'm worried she wont want me back, because she has many male friends! Advice?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have split up we have been together 2 years and 8 months i have been very jealous in the past because she met this guy on the internet who has told her he loves her, she insists she doesnt feel the same and is just a friend i am ...
A. 28 September 2007: do you think begging shows strength or weakness in a man? what do women want?
Jealousy is your own fear of competition and loss. But it sometimes causes us to loose. It's time to stop begging and simply apologize for your actions. Let her know she... (read in full...)
I like my drivers ed teacher!
Q. So I do like another one of my teachers, this is my Drivers ed teacher too. In my school we see our 1st period everyday, and he just happens to be my 1st period teacher. Anyways I really really like him. He looks kinda young maybe in his 20s or ...
A. 28 September 2007: I think you're emotions for him are playing tricks on you. that happens at your age. did he look at me? is he smiling at me? etc.
even if he did look at you longer, i'm not saying you're not attractive, but it would be inappropriate for him to show... (read in full...)
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