A
male
age
36-40,
*oodsc21
writes:Ok. My girlfriend and I have been together for quite a while. I know that she's in love with me and I know that im in love with her. But yesterday she told me that she just needs a break. She told me that right now she's just really stressed out and if she don't get her space then its going to be bad for both of us. She told me that she needed 3 weeks to herself with minimal contact between us and we can't see each other. She said after 3 weeks we will continue where we left off and she just needs this time to gather her feelings and to just center herself. Should I call the whole thing off or should I wait it out and just see what happens? Im kind of afraid she'll break up with me, but I trust her enough to think she's being sincere about all of this.. Thanks
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female
reader, cupidhelper +, writes (25 September 2007):
Ask her is she thinking of breaking up with you or if she plans to see other people, if her answer is, "no"-- she's not taking a break from the relationship, it's a journey we all need.
If she sees other people, break up- you can get back together, but you can't wait around while she cheats on you. And it's cheating-- you can't break up with someone to date guiltfree.
But is she needs a break: to think about school, what age she wants to have a baby, if you guys should go to the next level and when, or just to read a book and remember who she is-- give it to her. You might need it yourself oneday. 30 years is a long time to be with someone with out feeling like your loosing yourself.
The no contact is a bit overdone, but some people need to cleans their minds in extreme measures-- if she's the one, honor this request and remind her of this when you request your own time alone.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (23 September 2007):
 I know what you're going through. I've been there. It took the hurt away too, from me. She even asked for another chance down the line, I kindly said, I love you, but I just can't be with you.
You take care
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A
male
reader, woodsc21 +, writes (23 September 2007):
woodsc21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEhh to hell with it. I ended it last night and she don't want anything to do with me at all. So now she pushed me so far away it really don't hurt me. I love and and I will miss her but im not dealing with all her immature teenage drama crap. Thanks for the help guys. Im now single and looking for something more my type.
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A
male
reader, high fidelity +, writes (23 September 2007):
I've been there! Honestly, I think shes looking for a way out because shes either scared of committing OR she somehow loves you but not like that anymore. You know when I went through that it was like a ton of bricks hit me but you get over it. Time heals everything. Ask her to be honest with you with and talk about it. This whole out of nowhere break thing is way to unexpected for it to just be out of stress. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): a break? i dont know either of yuo enough so im just going to speak in a general sense,youknow her better. Thats ridiculous,taking a break. A relationship is between two COMMITTED people how committed does she sound when she wants to "take a break" i find that complete BS to "relieve stress" i see it as "im gonna see what else is out there and if theres nothing ill come back to him". Me personally i would end it,in relationships there are no breaks(not the way she is putting it) you shyuld be able to toalk to your other and it seems odd that its just "stress" wouldnt it make more sense if she asked you to do stuff with her to relieve stress? with all due respect i think shes full of BS
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): I am going through the same thing. My boyfriend of three and a half years needs time. This is not the first time this has happened. I will tell you things are great for a while and it happens again. The problem is you have to deal with whatever caused the break to begin with. I would not contact her and give her space. If she truly loves you she will be back. True love doesn't fade that quickly
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A
female
reader, carchick  +, writes (22 September 2007):
 hi girls if there in love they dnt break up with there bf so dnt worry
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (22 September 2007):
can't answer we don't know you or her enough to tell if she's sincere or not. you believe she is, so go with what your gut tell you.
I will say this though in general. Why do we take breaks? We get them at school, work, and now they've moved on to relationships. We take them to regroup, rest and relive stress.
If it's a break from a relationship, where do you think the stress is coming from. Here is what I would suggest doing. Tell her that you will honor her request. You understand she needs some time to regroup, but you understand taking a break from a relationship is due to stress the relationship (or person on the other end) is directly related too. I would tell her to regroup and you will honor it if she is willing to sit down with you after the three weeks and talk to try to figure out where the stress is coming from so you two can work together in preventing this from recurring.
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A
female
reader, Cupcake  +, writes (22 September 2007):
 If she really needs the space then give it to her, but I get the feeling your worried she will leave.. So during these 3 weeks take time to yourself as well. Space is important, and shes probably asking for it so she doesnt leave. I highly doubt that she would leave you after 3 weeks of minimal contact if she really loves you and shes just stressed out. We all need a break sometimes, dont think its anything you did.
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