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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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I cheated on him last year and he wants out; he's been unfaithful several times before. Should I move on?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been going out for 10 years. I cheated on him last year for the first time. I told him about it and he wants out. I feel cheated because he has had affiars several times and i have always forgiven him. I'm very confused now. ...
A. 1 October 2007: I know you may feel cheated. Cheating wasn't right for him to do, you forgave him, it wasn't right for you to do either. Just because you forgave him, does that obligate him to do the same?
I was with my daughters mother for almost 8 years. I... (read in full...)
Why do men go to massage parlors? Is my husband a sex addict?
Q. Just want to find some answers, my boyfriend went to a massage parlor and want to find out why men go to these places? he says he doesnt know. I am wondering if he is a sex addict? Does he really love me? how can he when he went there? If there is ...
A. 28 September 2007: he's violating your relationship. it's the old phrase, you can look but you can't touch, or it's OK to browse the menu as long as you don't order.
Just because these girls are "professionals" (i wonder what training they put them through)... (read in full...)
We've broken up and gotten back together so many times, I don't know if he will really stop his sideline tricks!
Q. Hi I apologize for this question being so long in advance.I met my bf last year septemeber,he got my number and called me,at this time he had a gf which i knew about. She lived in another town, so he only saw her on Sarutday nights.We rarely...
A. 28 September 2007: If you do this remember you deserve to be treated with respect, and not be hurt. Lay down the law. Let him know this is it, slip up and say goodbye. There is always a chance for people to turn around and act different, I don't guarantee it, but ... (read in full...)
My fiance visits sites like this and says she wants to leave me for her lover! I'm disabled, but do what I can - what else can I do to be a better partner?
Q. through it being a shared comupter and my fiancee not deleting her history as she usually does. ive found shes visited a lot of sites like this one and talked about leaving me for her lover. i dont want to lose her. im disabled- i can walk slightly ...
A. 27 September 2007: I agree with the other answer. Do you remember Christopher Reeves? Played superman in the movies. He became a quad, in a wheel chair began regaining some feeling right before he passed from the infections he got after surgery? I really believe his ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to ask her to cut all contact with her ex? Did we get together too soon?
Q. Hi, Im after a nuetrals point of view on my dilemma so i thought i would ask you.Ive been going out with a girl for about 4 months now shes 22 im 28 just before i got with her she was still in a 2 year relationship but going through breaking...
A. 27 September 2007: Jealous, yes and no. Yes because you took the lunch and pictured the worse that could happen, instead of just eating lunch. No because you deserve respect in your relationship. Her comment, just deal with it, is a disrespectful comment. I would have ... (read in full...)
Why do men go to massage parlors? Is my husband a sex addict?
Q. Just want to find some answers, my boyfriend went to a massage parlor and want to find out why men go to these places? he says he doesnt know. I am wondering if he is a sex addict? Does he really love me? how can he when he went there? If there is ...
A. 27 September 2007: It depends on the type of massage parlor. I went to a town, say a sign that said massage, mentioned my shoulder hurt so maybe I should make an appointment. Others that were there laughed and said it was no ordinary massage parlor. I didn't know, I ... (read in full...)
We've broken up and gotten back together so many times, I don't know if he will really stop his sideline tricks!
Q. Hi I apologize for this question being so long in advance.I met my bf last year septemeber,he got my number and called me,at this time he had a gf which i knew about. She lived in another town, so he only saw her on Sarutday nights.We rarely...
A. 27 September 2007: you teach people how to treat you. you set boundaries as to how that treatment will be. with this guy they have been real loose boundaries. there were just talking. that's almost as bad as our president saying on national tv that getting a blow job ... (read in full...)
So miserable... My ex-girlfriend is all I want in the world. She cannot be mine, and it hurts. What do you think?
Q. Please help me. Today, I'm so, so miserable about everything. Call it an off-day if you must, but whatever it is, it's dragging me WAAAY down. It's just over 3 months since my girlfriend and first love broke up with me, due to (as she claims) ...
A. 27 September 2007: What can you do aside from managing your pain, and grief. I know it hurts, and some days you just want to crawl in a hole and disappear.
It may be hard for her to believe in having a longer distance relationship. I'll tell you, if she enjoyed ... (read in full...)
Too much too late?
Q. Have been married 18 yrs and 3 kids 17, 15, 11, last few years Ive been unhappy. I finnaly told husband I wasnt happy and I dont have the same feelings for him. Now he is trying to change over night and do things he has never done, do dished, ...
A. 27 September 2007: "i don't think nothing will fix that" of course not. One thing about how we are as people is we ALWAYS believe what we tell ourselves first. If you keep telling yourself the negative, you'll keep living the negative.
I do believe it too when Dr.... (read in full...)
He gets violent if I ask him not to be in contact with his ex.
Q. my boyfriend of 9 months and the man who i live with accepts the fact i have a son from a previous relationship and doesnt get mad when my sons imprisoned father sends letters but it infuriates me when his ex that lives 10minutes away calls him and ...
A. 27 September 2007: That's good news. Just remember, if his actions pick up again, get out of there. You are too important of a person to let someone devalue that importance. ... (read in full...)
Based on our convo, do you all think this guy likes me?
Q. I'm 18 years old and really like my friend who is 19. Just wondering what you guys think of this conov I had with him the other night on msn... Basicaly I was talking to him the other night on MSN and I was saying how most of the good guys are ei...
A. 27 September 2007: Well take care. That's great that he waits. He should be proud of doing so. One big problem we have all over the world, people see someone cute, rush things because of looks, and just settle for bad behavior.
I wish you luck, being weary is OK, s... (read in full...)
We've split and she won't give me back my things, including sentimenal items that belonged to my deceased grandfather!
Q. dear all. my girl and i split 8 weeks ago. i ended up having a nervous breakdown, ended up on anti depressants. she has my things still. i've asked for them in every shape or form: letter, text, e mail etc. Nothing. Left it for fw weeks, nothing. T...
A. 27 September 2007: Tell her you need to arrange a time to set up to pick up your things, if you don't hear from her to arrange that time, you'll be filing and using the police to assist you in picking them up.
Let her know these things are your, she has no right of o... (read in full...)
Do I try to make my relationship work? I can't stop thinking about this other guy but is that because of the thrill of it that I enjoyed it all so much?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and over the last year or so things have been becoming very strained. Our sex life is non-existant - due to an unwanted pregnancy which we chose not to go ahead with and since then I have become ...
A. 27 September 2007: It doesn't sound like that's what men are like, it sounds like that's what you are like. You completely violated your relationship. There is absolutely no excuse to have a relationship with someone, while currently in one. It is proper to end a ... (read in full...)
Too much too late?
Q. Have been married 18 yrs and 3 kids 17, 15, 11, last few years Ive been unhappy. I finnaly told husband I wasnt happy and I dont have the same feelings for him. Now he is trying to change over night and do things he has never done, do dished, ...
A. 27 September 2007: You're feelings are normal. Let me ask you this. Why did you marry your husband? What qualities did he have that attracted you to him, what kind of activities did you enjoy, or have you forgotten? How do you feel about marriage, in general? Is it ... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking this?
Q. I really need some prespective on my situation...I'm at a total loss here and I feel like if I don't get this off my chest I'm going to end up causing a fight with my BF He is in Japan for work and I am in the US, so today I called him to chat at ...
A. 27 September 2007: They may have discussed their relationship ending to gain closure. Sometimes it's hard to move on, if you don't know how you got to that place in the first place.
Personally I think you may be over thinking. But when in doubt, the best thing to do i... (read in full...)
I get physically nauseaous worrying about whether or not he's going to miss me or just be happy I'm out of town!
Q. Well I am not sure where to start. About a year and half ago, I met this great guy. He is about 5 and half years older, we have a lot in common, we moved in together about a year ago, have talked about marriage, not so much now. About 6 months ...
A. 27 September 2007: You are not alone. Many people feel as you do, because there are too many people with no respect that cheat. Being violated when someone cheats can be very traumatic, and needs to be treated in a way as trauma. Here's the problem, our brains view ... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking this?
Q. I really need some prespective on my situation...I'm at a total loss here and I feel like if I don't get this off my chest I'm going to end up causing a fight with my BF He is in Japan for work and I am in the US, so today I called him to chat at ...
A. 27 September 2007: Please post again, adding what he had said in return from your response. Without it, i really don't have much information to provide you with something that would be as accurate as you need. ... (read in full...)
We are drifting apart, but I am getting closer to a female friend...
Q. My wife and I have been married for 4 years now. Over the past year especially she has been becoming distant. I wirk alot and she complains that I am never home. I tried to change that this summer. I am usually home by 6 or 7. However anytime I ...
A. 27 September 2007: First, your last sentence tell you what to do, "I care for her", "I love her" Why give up someone you love for someone you care for. How do you view "marriage"? In general, not just yours, it's importance, the commitment behind it?
If you don't mi... (read in full...)
Was my teacher flirting with me?
Q. could teachers hit on you and flirt with you? i had this in the past and they were female teachers i had had. they would touch me on the shoulders, arms, wrists, hands, etc. one of them tried to get very close body contact with me and mostly they ...
A. 27 September 2007: I wouldn't call it hitting on or flirting, it's sexual harassment.... (read in full...)
Does my period cycle indicate that the pill is not working for me?
Q. hi, i have been on the pill for about half a year now and for the last 3months or so my period has been coming the week before it is indicated it should happen. does this mean it isn't working?...
A. 27 September 2007: nope. The pill changes your hormones and therefore tosses your cycle out of cycle.... (read in full...)
I've never really made a move on a guy before, so I don't know how I should go about this without feeling stupid!
Q. I don't have much experience with dating. I've only been with one guy, and that was over a year ago. We lasted for only a few months, but things got serious really fast. He had emotional issues, and a few weeks before I left for college he dumped me ...
A. 27 September 2007: What I would do, since he brings a friend with him, is separate yourselves from the others. I would do this by excusing yourself to maybe go outside for a walk, and as you're getting up, ask him if he'd like to join you. That way you can talk ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want me anymore, but I don't think I can live without him! Please help me!
Q. Hi, I had a relationship of 11 years. During 10 years we were very happy. Two years ago we bought a house. Then I wanted to marry. My boyfriend would not. And we couldn't talk about it so one year ago I left my him. We worked about a year on our r...
A. 27 September 2007: First let's talk about these different behaviors. Kissing the guy, we don't call a mistake but maybe a bad choice. Second bad choice is not telling him what happened. The guild builds and telling someone when it happens, if he leaves, that's OK, ... (read in full...)
Does he want me, the new girl, or the rebound? How do you know when someone is genuine?
Q. Hello, I need advice. I am still in love with my ex, and I know this, I tried to deny this but it's true. I think of him every minute of the day, and have for the past few years. We are on again off again...And He says he really loves me, but I ...
A. 26 September 2007: Do not allow him to come back. How do you expect him to be a good person to you, if he can't make up his mind. I sounds as if he has a comfortable triangle going on here. Just bounces from home to home and then repeats. You deserve better. I'm not ... (read in full...)
I've had a crush on my best friend's brother...
Q. Ok, so I have had a major crush on my best friend's brother. I've liked him since early spring, and over the summer I practically lived at their house (to hang out with my best friend). I've known him almost my entire life, and our families are...
A. 26 September 2007: There's only one way to find out. Have your friend be your secret spy...lol that was a joke. It will come to you. That is wonderful with what you are doing in the church. I don't know how many questions you have read on here. I've decided to live my ... (read in full...)
I've had a crush on my best friend's brother...
Q. Ok, so I have had a major crush on my best friend's brother. I've liked him since early spring, and over the summer I practically lived at their house (to hang out with my best friend). I've known him almost my entire life, and our families are...
A. 26 September 2007: I think that must have happened.
So you say you go to church. Do you enjoy it? Do you get benefit from it? Did you think about taking some silent time, and praying over this issue?
I wish you luck with your choices. Let me give you this pi... (read in full...)
I have lost my daughter and grandchildren forever because the boyfriend controls her! Help!
Q. my daughter quit talking to me. how can i repair our relationship? it was over her relationship with her boyfriend of ten years. please help! my daughter won't even give me her phone number. i know her boyfriend is behind of all of this. when she ...
A. 26 September 2007: I feel for you and the situation you are going through. Sounds like your daughter is in a bad situation too. It's difficult to get some to recognize that they are not being treated in a manner they deserve. He has not right to control her, or to ... (read in full...)
Based on our convo, do you all think this guy likes me?
Q. I'm 18 years old and really like my friend who is 19. Just wondering what you guys think of this conov I had with him the other night on msn... Basicaly I was talking to him the other night on MSN and I was saying how most of the good guys are ei...
A. 26 September 2007: Only for those who know the whole story.... (read in full...)
I've had a crush on my best friend's brother...
Q. Ok, so I have had a major crush on my best friend's brother. I've liked him since early spring, and over the summer I practically lived at their house (to hang out with my best friend). I've known him almost my entire life, and our families are...
A. 26 September 2007: Follow your own feelings. I think he likes you.
The reason boys act that way around sisters, is if they withdraw a bit, their brother or sister won't know they like someone. It's embarrassing for guys. Their sisters hiding around the corner s... (read in full...)
I'm on the pill, but am I pregnant?
Q. Please someone tell me what is going on. I have been on birth conrtol pills for about a year now. My period has always been on time, never early never late. Well lately my guy and I have been having a lot more sex than usual, yes he does ejaculate ...
A. 26 September 2007: Go to the doctor if you're worried. Changes in behaviors can throw your cycle off, additional sex, if it's done a lot can make you a bit raw inside to which would explain a small bit of bleeding. The only way to tell for sure is to go to the doctor, ... (read in full...)
We fell asleep together and I think others might have the wrong idea...
Q. Okay well im 15, and the guy i like (he's 18) i'v known all my life and weve always been veryvery close. He doesnt know i like him as more than a friend as i know it wouldnt work, and i would never do anything to ruien our friendship. He has been ...
A. 26 September 2007: You're going to find as you get older. It isn't how you live, it's how people interpret how you live. We all judge. I work hard not too, but we have to admit it happens. If you see someone, dressed in leather from head to tow, ear rings, spikes, ... (read in full...)
She says she likes someone else...
Q. I am 17 and so is my girlfriend. we have been together for just over 2 years. She has just told me that she likes/fancys somebody else, even though she does not find him particuly attractive and claims she has never thought about doing anything with ...
A. 26 September 2007: Here's a good poem that makes sense to your issue:
Don't leave someone you like for someone you love...
because the one you like will leave you for someone they love...
Love doesn't have any happy endings, because love never ends.
It d... (read in full...)
She's 21 now, but when she was 15 she had sex with her teacher! What should I do?
Q. I'm stuck for what to do. I've been with my girlfriend a few years now, and a few months ago we told each other's deepest secret (Here I was thinking it would be an interesting game to play, but really didn't expect anything like she told me). ...
A. 26 September 2007: That is the problem, would she be ready to report him to the authorities or not? Even if you report him to the school, you'd still need her, and it would still be advertised.
It is but it isn't your concern. I would say if it was just an affa... (read in full...)
My friend asked me to have sex with her. I don't know what to say or do!
Q. What should I do? There is this girl st school. and today during P.e. she asked me to spend the night with her. so i said sure. because she is one of my good friends. then she said and "while we are at my housee..... we can, you know..." and and...
A. 26 September 2007: You tell her NO. I'll tell you why. Anytime someone says "if you tell everyone" that's not good behavior. Tell her you're just not ready. You won't tell anyone, if she doesn't ask again.
Girl, I've hear of jams, but this one has to top the list... (read in full...)
Why do men need porn?
Q. If women get off without porn why can't men get off on the feeling alone also? Why is porn needed??...
A. 26 September 2007: Porn is not needed if he has a good imagination. I don't know why you believe men need porn. I live quite fine with very little amounts. I wouldn't say NONE at all, but not a lot.
Some men like it because of the fantasy around it. Especial... (read in full...)
I can't get it through my thick skull...
Q. I need help I am in love with this girl I only met her over the summer and when I first saw her I had this awsome feeling hit me. Her brother became one of my best friends. But I asked her where did she live? and she said she lived in Texas and I ...
A. 26 September 2007: The only advise I have for you is "never say never" the will come a time when your both adults, and have the means to travel. I'm now 36, and I reconnected as friends with a girl I dated at 14. We were going to get married, but she lives across the ... (read in full...)
Based on our convo, do you all think this guy likes me?
Q. I'm 18 years old and really like my friend who is 19. Just wondering what you guys think of this conov I had with him the other night on msn... Basicaly I was talking to him the other night on MSN and I was saying how most of the good guys are ei...
A. 26 September 2007: When you ask a question on here, we go directly off the information you provide to give you suggestions. Our suggestions are not probabilities, they are possibilities and areas of concern.
If it was mentioned you have hung out and didn't repr... (read in full...)
Large breasts, should I get a reduction?
Q. hi, im a 27 year old from canada. im just like every other girl except that i have extremely large breasts. im a 48 eee and im not fat im only 140 pounds, and every time i go out i get stared to death by guys. at first i like it but after a while it ...
A. 26 September 2007: I think you should take a picture of them, send it to Hollywood to the tabloids, and have them put REAL under the picture. I bet you'd make a lot of women jealous who spent thousands to get their that size. lol
It can work for you, and against ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him last year and he wants out; he's been unfaithful several times before. Should I move on?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been going out for 10 years. I cheated on him last year for the first time. I told him about it and he wants out. I feel cheated because he has had affiars several times and i have always forgiven him. I'm very confused now. ...
A. 26 September 2007: You'll never forget. You will need to prepare yourself for refiling his deceptive ways. What I hate to see in relationships is where someone was hurt by someone else previous, then they bring that pain to the next relationship, carrying with them ... (read in full...)
How do you know when and what your "pupose" is, so you can teach it to your children and be blessed?
Q. I'm sorry if I offend anyone by bringing religion to the table, but I have a question for the belivers. It has been said many times that everyone has a purpose in this life and that you will be blessed in abundance if you follow that purpose. ...
A. 26 September 2007: Our purpose, I actually love this subject. I could talk for hours on it. Having children is wonderful, they are a blessing, but feeling if there's something more, that means you're not totally fulfilled by what you're doing now. Of course what you ... (read in full...)
A relationship... with no one knowing? What are these mindgames, what shall I do?
Q. Okaay..well...My ex and I broke up because he didnt want a relationship. He said this was due to the fact we will be going to university, and he wants the ''univeristy experience''. Even though we wont be leaving for univeristy for atleast a ...
A. 26 September 2007: Tell him no. Unless you believe in just being friends with benefits. I think he is scared of commitment. He wants the sex, love, attention, but not the commitment.
Your boyfriend is weird, here's why. Do you want to date him or not?
Dating = ... (read in full...)
Is this emotional abuse?
Q. Is it emotional abuse? My fiance and I always argue, and last night I just had enough. The problem is I live with him, and where Im from is far away. Anyways, I was just wondering if breaking up with him is the right thing to do. It feels like ...
A. 26 September 2007: Get your stuff and say goodbye. That is an escalating form of abuse. When the need for control gets greater than the control he has all ready exercised, it will increase, and could even go from mental to being physical.
Please remember this. NO BODY... (read in full...)
I think my wife wants to try saving the marriage but her friend is pushing her back to the ex?
Q. my and my wife were trying to save our marrige so she left her bf for me, a week later she back with him after i walked in on them. she will not talk to me about it 5 days later, all she has said is that she loves me but not in the way i want as ...
A. 26 September 2007: Tell the friend to get lost. ... (read in full...)
How do you stay friends with your ex whom you still love? Shoul;dn't they be able to mend things, two people who love eachother?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for the past 6 months. When we first started dating things was amazing. The first two months was a like a dream. Then we started to argue all the time. Then it became an EVERY day thing. Over stupid, petty things that I ...
A. 26 September 2007: Some people make better friends than lovers. Here's what I see from your information. You needed space, broke it off all the time, he did the same thing. But he did take the break, and I bet feels it's a bit safer being single than it is with the ... (read in full...)
Still in love with the ex and have been seeing him behind my husband's back. What to do?
Q. Dear Cupid... Have I got a problem.. I was living with someone for 10 years, we had two daughters and a horrible relationship. We were young and naive and ended up seperating. Then right away I started seeing the man who is now my husband of 3 ...
A. 26 September 2007: Either way, it's time to tell your husband. He has the right to know what you've been doing. No you can't help who you love, but you could have helped who's you're going to end up hurting. You're still in love with someone who you had a horrible ... (read in full...)
Based on our convo, do you all think this guy likes me?
Q. I'm 18 years old and really like my friend who is 19. Just wondering what you guys think of this conov I had with him the other night on msn... Basicaly I was talking to him the other night on MSN and I was saying how most of the good guys are ei...
A. 25 September 2007: He might like you. If I were you though, I'd proceed with caution if you decide to pursue this. You don't want to end up meeting a controlling, harassing, stalker. There is something that just rubbed off on me the wrong way when reading how his name ... (read in full...)
He gets violent if I ask him not to be in contact with his ex.
Q. my boyfriend of 9 months and the man who i live with accepts the fact i have a son from a previous relationship and doesnt get mad when my sons imprisoned father sends letters but it infuriates me when his ex that lives 10minutes away calls him and ...
A. 19 September 2007: You can make yourself feel better by leaving. If he's getting violent, those behaviors you don't want to be around or your son. If he respected you and the relationship you share, he'd tell the ex goodbye. ... (read in full...)
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