A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:i'm 20, I am a confident person, I'm nice and I have a sense of humour. How many girlfriends have I had - 0. How many have I asked out - 7 I think. I have never kissed a girl let alone had sex and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. One girl said she says I'm sweet but not her type (she liked the bad boy type).Every time I ask people what I should do to make a girl see that she may like me it is always the same answer, just be myself. But that has got me nowhere. every time I have started talking to a girl I am attracted to (whilst being myself) they lose interest and even start talking and making out with one of my friends when they flirt with her.Please, please please can someone help me. At the rate I'm going I'm going to still be single and miserable by the time I'm 30.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): Gen Y kids love answering any problem by saying "just be yourself." First off, when it comes to women start getting advice from people who would know, which are guys in their late 20s and older. No one else will know what to tell you. Second, just be aggressive about this problem. Go ahead and make yourself over if you want, buys some clothes, get a new haircut, new cologne, etc. At 20 you're changing into an adult, so feel free to change as much as you want. And start saying hi to pretty girls when you pass them by. You try talking to a dozen girls a week, by the end of the month you'll have gotten to know at least some of them, maybe picked up a phone number or two. And third, join in groups. If you're at college, join clubs. Get a job someplace there are lots of women. Proximity breeds attraction, especially for sweet guys, because women get to know you and how worthwhile you actually are. You'll find it's easy after the first few hard successes.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007):
Don't listen to what girls say they like. Look at what they're actually going for in reality.
Two VERY different things.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 Congratulations, take it one step at a time. The first time I kissed a girl, I didn't request to see her naked, I would have gotten slapped. I waited until the second time. lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually I was out last night with some friends and I made out with a girl. If you can call dancing, very promiscously and kissing with tongue. No sex though I didn't want to do it with someone i didn't know.
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A
female
reader, cupidhelper +, writes (25 September 2007):
first look around and see who likes you-- you might have an admirer that you're unknowingly jilting.
then look at who you're hitting on-- people are jusemental and you may be hitting on a girl who want a Movie star guy-- you might be insisting on a movie star girl.
but if you're really just looking for love, here's the tricks:
a. if you have a close femail friend, say you've never been kissed and ask if she'll give you a peck to get it over with. Make sure she's single. you won't be so uptight at parties.
b. for got you've never been kissed. my best friend ignored he was a birgin at 20, then when his first came around, neither of them relized it was his first time until months later (granted my best friend's coping mechanism is to forgot what's bothering him-- so it's a demented skill not everyone has)
c. casually bring up to a group of people at an afterparty that you're a virgin-- not for religious reasons, but because you don't believe in it outside of love-- you'll have every girl at the party wanting to have the honor of first time. (when someone kisses you, walk them home, get their number, and don't give in until the at least the 2nd date, try to hold out until the third-- these will get you a possible girlfriend-- just pick the right girl.
4. when a girl's attracted to you, touch her to get the chips, badboy's tease and ignore. (but we like goodboys once we get badboys-- only losers want a badboy boyfriend they cheat or are abusive; most of use want the badboy intrigue with the romantic comedy loser who buys us candy.
5. give a drive-by compliment and walk away. don't hit on the same girl for an hour. Let her know you're interested but she's needs to work for you.
6. Ignore the tricks, be honest, wait for a girl who doesn't like tricks. It's better, trust me. (and it's okay to let someone know you're not experience and you want them to "teach you"--very sexy. anyone can survive a bad kiss if they know they can give tips, thinking it's you style...
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A
female
reader, Amy2007x +, writes (23 September 2007):
 Well Some girls like bad boys some like sweet guys ... but whatever kind girls are into you shouldnt change or whatever.
Just make a girl laugh, show her your kind and just flirt!
i love guys that can make me laugh lol :P
so be yourself!
a girl wouldnt wanna go out never mind kiss a fake eh?
and if none of these girls are interested in you and only makin out wiv ur mates move on they arent worth it- you deserve better =]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): wow
well its very unusuall never to kissed anyone..
I'm 14 I had my first kiss when i was 9 but im still a virgin. I can see why you are fostrated you need to find someone too KISS!!.. but its not a badd thing even though you must be gagging for someone, something!! Good Luck Dude.. you seem like a nice enough guy.
:)
x
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (22 September 2007):
Just be yourself. The best advise you can be given. The reason is, if they know who they are getting involved with, theirs no room for misleading. Don't use corny pick up lines. I read a survey about 5 years ago, on pick up lines. The one that was proven to work the best was "want to f * * k". I'll tell you, that was not what I expected. But it is strait forward. Maybe change your approach a bit. Here's a quick story which happened to an older gentleman I know.
He saw this girl he wanted to go out with, he asked her out, she kindly said no thank you. About a week went by he tried again, and again she kindly said no thank you. So the next time he decided to ask, he did it differently, he said there's a function coming up at school. I have this friend I'd like to ask, to go as friends, nothing else. The problem I have is I feel this friend might think I'm trying to hit on her and may say no because of getting the wrong impression, and I just want it to be friends joining each other to attend this function. What would you do? She said Well if it's just as friends, and nothing more, I'd ask her. He said, will you go to this function with me.
I love that story, she said yes, and they've been married now for over 30 years and have raised 7 children together.
So in your case, maybe it's not what you're saying, but how you're saying it. Review your approach and tweak it, then if it doesn't work do it again, once you start getting dates, you won't have to change it any more.
One piece of advice I have to give, when talking to the girls, ask them questions about themselves. For some reason people don't get as board when talking about them. And listen without interrupting.
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A
female
reader, carchick +, writes (22 September 2007):
 u should be urself but tell the girl how nice she is nd how preety she is nd dnt rush into asking girls out have a gd conversation with her gd luck
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A
female
reader, Kay-lee. +, writes (22 September 2007):
 Hi,
Well, I hope this doesn't offend you but I assure you, it ISN'T offensive, but maybe you should try a different style of the way you dress and style your hair and stuff.
Being a girl myself, I can tell you that most girl's like boys that flirt but don't flirt to much, is funny but doesn't repeat some cheesey joke, and one that is very sexy.
Also, if a girl starts to lose interest, then start to ask questions about herself to get her talking, touch her on the arm only a little bit and start to get close (relationship wise) to her.
Maybe one day you'll get your first kiss.
Thanks!
Kay-lee. x
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A
male
reader, willem  +, writes (22 September 2007):
 20 is not so bad and believe me ,when u do get miss right she'll think that u r sweet 'cause u waited 4 her. u c u can try to b wild and bad but in the process u'll destroy some of the goodness in u and maybe u'll miss the relationship that would have made u happy 4 the rest of ur life. u c its not how long u wait 4 ur 1st kiss it how long it last and how happy it makes u + how special it makes u feel. almost like a good wine - u mix all the flavours in a one barrel , let nature go its way and if u wait and monitor ur wine correctly , u get a perfect wine and the time waited is long forgotten.
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A
female
reader, Cupcake  +, writes (22 September 2007):
 Where were you when I was single? haha Sorry my boyfriend and I have issues with his ex so the fact you have never had a girlfriend is very appealing.. I would suggest you dont change anything, you sound like a great person, and someone just as great as you will come along and appreciate everything you have to offer. All good things come in time. and expecially when we least expect it, dont rush anything.. enjoy life, your 20.. Im 21 and sometimes I wish I stayed single for a little longer.. and trust me you wont be single till your 30, someone will recoginise how great you are by then! I wish you luck.. Dont change :) You definatly sound 110% perfect in my books
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