A
female
age
36-40,
*emzy*
writes:hi all, I have decided to bite the bullet and not see him anymore! Im kinda sad about this as he was a huge part of my life for two and a half years! I really need to get on with it and I just dont see friendship with him as something I would handle very well! I dont want to see him being loving with someone else! I'm not proud to admit it but even though I dumped him I was the one who wanted to get back together and I came across as a bit needy! I feel that now I'm going to take a step back maybe he will realise what he lost and come back! Does that happen very often!?And if he doesn't, well I will have proved that I can stay away from him and maybe I won't want him back! I still feel like he is my soulmate and maybe fate is telling us that we can't be together now but our time will come later! Maybe we will run into each other again! My sister dabbles in dowsing and the pendulum told her that I will meet my soulmate in seven months! This pendulum is very rarely wrong! Do you think I could bump into him again maybe, has anyone lost their soulmate only to find them again when they are ready? I miss him already and it's only been half an hour! How am I going to cope? help! love *emzy*
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 You're not half way there getting over them. People we love, we never get over, we just don't think of them as often.
I want you to look at this as a positive experience. Use this knowledge of your relationship to benefit future ones. You know what you want and what you don't want. People possess different personalities, some of which are biological and some are learned behaviors. Three categories: (1) Introvert - Keeps to themselves, doesn't go out much, they don't many many friends, their fun to be around, when there's a chance to be around them, but they avoid social situations, unless necessary. (2) Extrovert- Energizer bunny, always going out, can't stay home, has many friends, does many things, when a social gathering ends they can't wait until the next one. (3) Combined- Enjoy going out doing many things, but they also enjoy their peace and quiet and just spending a quiet evening at home.
What you need to do is list who you are, what do you enjoy. And list the qualities you are looking for in someone. Then when looking for a boyfriend, look at people who have those qualities. A big reason there are so many relationship problems is we don't take the time to figure out what we want, before choosing someone to be with.
A
female
reader, *emzy* +, writes (24 September 2007):
*emzy* is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for your replies! I dumped him a month ago but we were still trying to be friends! i saw him yesterday and from there i decided it was best to forget about friendship! I decided to not see him anymore because HE FELL ASLEEP!!! i realised that it was typical of the relationship we had as if he wasnt sitting on the computer all evening he would sit on the bed with me and eventually fall asleep! I found it boring and i just wasnt recieving the attention i feel i deserved sometimes! If we went out it was always to a gig that he wanted to go to and the one holiday we did go on was to glastonbury music festival! He was 26 and still living at home, he didnt save for his future and spent all his money on gigs and vinyls! I just need some advice on getting over him, i think i am half way there as i have stopped viewing the relationship through rose tinted spectacles! im just worried that i will find no one better than him and that all relationships are well...boring! what if i see him in the street! What do i do? how do i become indifferent towards him! love *emzy*
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (24 September 2007):
 it's going to take time, resistance and chocolate!!you have done the right thing and you need to come to terms with not seeing him, thinking about him defo not taking to him!don't plan or expect what will happen, you don't know what is going to happen, nobody does and you must have a reason for splittig up with him in the first place? so if you were soulmates, you wouldn't find a cause to not want to be together. it won't make him want you back, it'll let him know you are mature and have finally handled the break up you wanted, and sometimes its for the best.move on in time and you'll be happy and content on your own.best of luck.
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A
female
reader, cupidhelper +, writes (24 September 2007):
Soulmate is an agressive, romantic word-- I've broken up with my husband every year for 10 years. But I've never left him. I've never proved I could-- I sulked in the next room until he finished sulking or until he came in.
You're young. Develop you're own soul and see where it takes you. Maybe back to him, maybe not.
Repeat the cheesy marriage vows and answer them: if he got sick, could you work a job you hated to support both of you, move in with his mother to cover the bills?
If not, you're not ready for the Soulmate job.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (24 September 2007):
You are asking this a half an hour after you've dumped him. If you feel so strong about him, and that he's your sole mate, why dump him in the first place.
Your second chance you'd really have to discuss with him. We don't know about how he feels about you or about how he feels about the break up. You need to talk to him. He may extend you another chance, and he might decide not too, if your decision caused him pain. The reason we get into relationships and the reason most of them end depend on the amount of pain v. pleasure we receive.
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