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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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My life is in utter shambles...Filing for Divorce
Q. This is a long and painful story that I will post here, but I need to get some opinions from some "disinterested" third parties as my friends/family have pretty much weighed in on this issue. First, some background to "set the stage" for what's to ...
A. 6 April 2008: You're right about closing the old, before starting a new. Good luck to you.... (read in full...)
Sometimes I ejaculate in my pants without any masterbation.
Q. Sometimes I ejaculate in my pants without any masterbation. How do i stop this?...
A. 5 November 2007: It's also known as a "wet dream". I had that issue when I was your age as well. I was mad because the word "dream" signifies sleeping. Not while I'm walking around in the day.
What I did, which I was in Military School, so I had no parents to ask,... (read in full...)
I'm embarrased because I have small breasts
Q. I'm embarrased because i have small breasts and get called names for them. Im like an A cup and im 14. 15 in feb. Im wondering if sleeping with a bra stops their growth because i always sleep with one on. I need help...
A. 5 November 2007: There was a girl we'd pick on in school because she was underdeveloped. (yes I have apologized) At the time I was a kid, playing along with everyone else. What got me was after school I ran into in a store. Oh my, her body was perfect. We're talking ... (read in full...)
My ex keeps sending me flowers, its messing with my head, how can I find a way to end this?
Q. My ex-boyfriend bought me flowers to bring to work, but I was off today. We only work in the same place once a week, and this week I didn't work there at all. He called me several times not using his cell phone so I didn't track the numbers and one ...
A. 5 November 2007: I would be firm with him and his sending gifts. Let him know, it's inappropriate to do so.
There is another issue here as well. You mentioned these issues happened over a long period of time? You also mentioned you are crazy about him. Did you thin... (read in full...)
I'm back with my boyfriend, but his ex keeps interferring, she always there, has she got a sixth sense?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up for ablout 3 days, it was basically a build up of various stresses and busy lifestyle and lack of communication, and also a lack of time for each other and said communication. We're not a couple who break up and get...
A. 5 November 2007: It is odd. All though she makes contact every so often, it is up to your boyfriend to let her know "DON'T CONTACT ME". ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to older men, but I don't want to end up marrying one, help!
Q. in the past 3 years ive been having trobles with guys, im 18 and im attracted to men twice my own age and every time i try to date someone my own age im not attracted to them or we just dont conect and it never works out, i just dont know what to do ...
A. 5 November 2007: Your feelings are normal. I wouldn't worry about it. Many women are finding older men attractive, because their more refined, instead of an evening beer bashing, enjoying a play, or a nice dinner. I find too younger women are attracted to older men ... (read in full...)
My mum thinks my girlfriend is screwed up, what should I do for the best?
Q. I'm not sure what to make about my girlfreind, she lives about 30 miles away from me and I have to always pay for hotels when I stay up there, she occasionally comes down to me, but lately I have gone up to where she lives, she says she loves me and ...
A. 5 November 2007: I'd ask her. It never hurts to ask. Don't you agree knowing is better than wondering and not knowing? She needs counseling. ... (read in full...)
My life is in utter shambles...Filing for Divorce
Q. This is a long and painful story that I will post here, but I need to get some opinions from some "disinterested" third parties as my friends/family have pretty much weighed in on this issue. First, some background to "set the stage" for what's to ...
A. 5 November 2007: With the PTSD, she'll have to seek help on her own, It's not something anyone can do without her willingness to get help.
Do you live in a state that has "No Fault" divorce? If so, your judicial website may offer a self help section to draw up the ... (read in full...)
I really like him and he says he doesnt. Should I kiss him anyways?
Q. I like this guy and I sent him a note asking if he liked me....but he cheked no.....and i still really like him and so does my friend but he said he doesnt like her either......and I still realllly reaaaaaly like him....should i just go up to him ...
A. 5 November 2007: You need to go get yourself some self esteem. Skinny is only a body type, and one of many. Not everyone is attracted to skinny girls. Keep your head up, your young, and will be changing over the next decade.
Take care... (read in full...)
For the child's sake, should I tell him?
Q. I haven't had my period for about a month and a half. My daughter's dad wanted to work things out, again. I thought about it for awhile. So, I decided to give it another chance. He wanted to get married, move in together, have another ...
A. 5 November 2007: Let me ask you this, just to make sure you didn't spend any money that didn't need to be spent for the "Termination of Rights." After having it signed by both parties and visiting the notary, your lawyer did set up a court hearing to modify custody, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he needs to sample the single life before we marry, now he's sleeping around, I love him but should I wait?
Q. Ok I am in an odd situation... I've been with my boyfriend since high school and we have a great relationship we don't have many big fights. We are both second year university students now and he and I have been talking about the possibility of ...
A. 4 November 2007: Tell him how you feel. I would say he is not doing what's right. I can tell you (from mild experience) that women are not really that much different.
What does he need to get satisfied with? If you're with someone you love, and they love you, why ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to this older guy?
Q. Heya.For about a year now ive been seeing this guy and we get on really well and both really like each other. The only problem is he's 28 and im only 16. The age dosen't matter to me that much its just a few of my friends know and are really teasing ...
A. 4 November 2007: Just remember, sex is not a competition and not a rush on when you decide to do it. ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to this older guy?
Q. Heya.For about a year now ive been seeing this guy and we get on really well and both really like each other. The only problem is he's 28 and im only 16. The age dosen't matter to me that much its just a few of my friends know and are really teasing ...
A. 4 November 2007: Just remember, sex is not a competition and not a rush on when you decide to do it. ... (read in full...)
Son who won't mind and lies all the time
Q. My son adopted at 12 lies all the time and has no regret. I have spanked him. no good. He is now 14 I have grounded him .no good , i have taken away prevlidges. no good . I have talked about God with him no good . I am really fed up and don't know ...
A. 4 November 2007: It's easy to get frustrated. Take him in for a psychological evaluation, you'll find your answer there. It almost sounds like it could be 2 different things. (1) Antisocial Personality Disorder (2) One of the Defiance Disorders.
What makes pu... (read in full...)
I can't see watching tv and just blurting out "I'm Pregnant!"
Q. Hey everyone im 33 and have been with my husband since we were 16 n married for 7 years. We are very much in love owever i have a problem. I'm pregnant with his baby(obviously) and i don't know how to tell him. I've only told our 17 year old ...
A. 4 November 2007: If you decide not to have it, at least choose adoption so the child will have a chance at life. I too was adopted, that's my personal reason for being pro-life.
I know your nervous. You've raised a girl all ready. You took on an obligation, had to g... (read in full...)
Have I gone too far?
Q. Hi i'm 20 years old, happily engaged to an amazing girl and have a daughter that I love so much. I work behind a bar in a busy nightclub and recently a new girl has started her and no matter how hard I try I cant keep her out of my head, and with ...
A. 4 November 2007: I think you've gone too far, and you knew that or you wouldn't be asking the question. If we feel guilt, there is usually a reason.... (read in full...)
What my bf doesn't know, won't hurt him
Q. I am 17 years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. he cheated on me but i decided to stay with him. recently i have been texting someone else, my boss. we have always had a flirty relationship but in my last shift (as a ...
A. 4 November 2007: He cheated on you, you stayed with him. Now you're cheated, new and fresh incident. That's OK to keep them both, as long as it's OK with your boyfriend. It's now his turn to decide to stay with you or not. You are completely in the wrong by doing ... (read in full...)
My mum thinks my girlfriend is screwed up, what should I do for the best?
Q. I'm not sure what to make about my girlfreind, she lives about 30 miles away from me and I have to always pay for hotels when I stay up there, she occasionally comes down to me, but lately I have gone up to where she lives, she says she loves me and ...
A. 4 November 2007: She needs counseling. Self hard, drinking, not taking financial responsibility. She needs a psych exam. It almost sounds like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which can be found in people who have had an abortion. With the death thing, I'd say she is ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if this relationship is going anywhere?
Q. I am a 26 year old women who has recently been spending a lot of time with a 23 year old man who is a friend of a number of my close friends. We are having a really good time and have been sleeping together for four weeks. The problem is that I ...
A. 4 November 2007: Only four weeks. Time to call the preacher.
Take it slow, there's no hurry. It takes longer to really see where things are going to go in a realistic manner. Right now it would be premature to see anything but sleeping together, which sex does... (read in full...)
For the child's sake, should I tell him?
Q. I haven't had my period for about a month and a half. My daughter's dad wanted to work things out, again. I thought about it for awhile. So, I decided to give it another chance. He wanted to get married, move in together, have another ...
A. 4 November 2007: What rights does he have, established by a court? Does he take part in any visitation? Has court established custody? If not, by law, knowing who the father is, court and establishing paternity has to take place. Everything you do, every decision ... (read in full...)
Would we be punished in the state of California?
Q. im curious as to what would happen if two minors (17 and 17) were having sex and were to get caught, what would be the punishment in the state of california....
A. 4 November 2007: California Statute: § 261. 5(b)-(d)Anyone who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a person under age 18 and the actor is not more than three years older or three years younger, is guilty of a misdemeanor.
I'm confused as if you c... (read in full...)
I'm confused and love her so much.
Q. Hi Everyone. If it's ok, I need advice on a relationship I have been having. I am 14 years-old and a freshman in highschool. Basically, somehow now I have a relationship with my 25 year-old science teacher. I'm not complaining though because I ...
A. 4 November 2007: She may see this as her making a mistake, which I would agree. Do you know what would happen if this relationship got out? If you loved her, don't continue wanting her. She can go to prison, and permanently loose her license to teach.
If you love... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and my brother is 17, what should I do?
Q. i m 16 years old. my 17 years old brother wants to suck my boobs and wants me to give him a blow job. Please tel me what i should do....
A. 4 November 2007: Just say NO. It's not right. He sounds like a perv. Tell him to perv somewhere else and not with you. If he continues, tell a parent. ... (read in full...)
I feel stupid like I've acted like a teenager.
Q. please give some advice i am currently going through a seperation after 14 years together because weve become friends not lovers. we have 3 young children together. during this seperation ive become attached to a guy 7 years younger than me hes ...
A. 4 November 2007: You can't cause anyone else's behavior. Not possible. You haven't been pushy or selfish. You're lucky these issues came up now. You need to leave him alone. He's not all there. It also seems as if he's a control freak. Get together with him, he'll ... (read in full...)
Had sex without condom on the 7th day of pause (from the pills), are these signs that I'm pregnant?
Q. Ok pleas help me.. I'm on the pill but on my last day of my seven day break about a week and half ago, i had sex without a condom with my boyfriend. Now for about 4 days ive had slight stomach cramps and slight dizziness in the morning and weei...
A. 4 November 2007: That would lower the chances. ... (read in full...)
I can't send him home, and he'll never have the money to move.
Q. Hi, i am 27 yrs old and recently moved from Poland to the UK with my boyfriend. We know each other since children but become boyfriend and girlfriend two half years ago. When we arrive we get job together at same place. We live with man in shared ...
A. 4 November 2007: Just remember this. Whatever issues you have that could have had some cause in this relationship with your boyfriend changing, you also bring to the new one.
Don't take that lightly, or you'll find after a few failed relationships which ones they... (read in full...)
17 yr old and attracted to younger girls (10-14). I take relationships seriously, with honesty, but this worries me?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a question that I don't know what to make of. I am a 17 year old male and I think am worried because I think I might like girls younger than me. By younger, I mean as in 10-14 or so. Somtimes when I look at schoolbo...
A. 4 November 2007: I recommend seeking counseling. Now I'm not saying all of it's bad. I'll tell you why. I saw that show as well. Still can't get over the guy that fell for the trap two times in a row.
After watching that show, I was like WHY are these guys att... (read in full...)
Had sex without condom on the 7th day of pause (from the pills), are these signs that I'm pregnant?
Q. Ok pleas help me.. I'm on the pill but on my last day of my seven day break about a week and half ago, i had sex without a condom with my boyfriend. Now for about 4 days ive had slight stomach cramps and slight dizziness in the morning and weei...
A. 4 November 2007: The only way to tell is to take the test. Those are signs, but their also signs of low white blood count, low blood sugar etc. The only way to tell is to take a home test, or go to a doctor for a test.
Good luck. ... (read in full...)
Instead of solving the problems during sex, I broke up. How do I avoid being nervous to get over this?
Q. Okay. So I had been seeing this girl for a few days, and she wanted to have sex. But when we tried to I couldn't get erect. Naturally I got really embarassed, and we didn't really talk again. It took me a while to get my confidence back, but I ...
A. 4 November 2007: Your basing your relationships on sex. When do you expect to find someone for a long term relationship if its not based on anything else.
The quick finish, you must be nervous. It's what's called hyper focus, you're so paranoid instead of enjo... (read in full...)
21 and have been married for 3 years. He lied from the beginning, I don't think I can love him now. Can't imagine leaving him though...
Q. Ok, I met my husband of 3 years in Highschool. He was the perfect boyfriend. We dated for 2 years before getting married. We got married the summer of 2004 and we did good the first year, had our small fights. The summer of 2005 we found out I was ...
A. 4 November 2007: You're only 21, and I can tell you really love your little girl. So having her in an abusive home, where she's going to learn how guys are allowed to treat women is OK with you?
Living in a loveless home, teaching your daughter about love in that... (read in full...)
Will my ex girlfriend ever come back to me?
Q. I went out with a girl for 3.5 years. It was an intense but happy relationship...She ended it though....Approximately 2 months later we were talking again and was even talking about getting back with each other but she started dating some else and ...
A. 4 November 2007: I think she needs some psychological help. This is nuts, and you're allowing this behavior by taking her back each time. Here is the correct answer for her "I love you, always will, but you keep playing this. I now choose to just remain your friend, ... (read in full...)
Broke up because of family interference.
Q. my girlfriend and i broke up because of her family interfearence, she told me, her best friend and another friend she was getting back together with me, her mother and daughter had a hissyfit and said they wont have anything to do with her if she ...
A. 4 November 2007: If you could answer further, I'd appreciate it. My initial thought are, she needs to take her stand as being the parent.
Has she dated others before you? I asked my daughter once why she doesn't want me to date, she said "because you haven't ... (read in full...)
Talked abot living together, but haven't talked about when yet.
Q. My boyfriend is working hard to start his own business. I know he wants me to have a comfortable lifestyle when I live with him. He wants me to not have to work to support our family. We have been together for 2 years (I'm 24 and he is 26). Our rela...
A. 4 November 2007: Simply speaking, this comes from a comedian, but it's honest. Women think guys have a lot going on in their mind. Not true. He says what guys think about is "i want a beer and to see someone naked." That's it. Not too complicated.
I'm sure he ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, but not ready to be his daughter's step-mom.
Q. Am I a bad person if I don't love my boyfriend's daughter? She's a nice girl and everything. But I just don't like her way of doing things sometimes. When she wants something, she gets it. If she was my daughter, I would not let her be that way. I'm...
A. 4 November 2007: You decide what you are going to do in this stage. You will be too selfish if you think you can put yourself at all in front of his child. Kids come first, and to think otherwise is selfish and fantasizing something that aint going to happen.
U... (read in full...)
I'm a girl in love with a girl who helps me with music.
Q. Hi everyone, I really need help on a question I dont understand. Im 16, and the thing is, I play the violin and I'm in intermediate (between beggining and advanced) orchestra at my highschool. After playing horrible at a concert, I felt ups...
A. 4 November 2007: It's not uncommon to have an attraction for someone who's helped you in different situations or comforted you when you're upset. Be thankful she's helping. The violin is a beautiful instrument. ... (read in full...)
My life is in utter shambles...Filing for Divorce
Q. This is a long and painful story that I will post here, but I need to get some opinions from some "disinterested" third parties as my friends/family have pretty much weighed in on this issue. First, some background to "set the stage" for what's to ...
A. 4 November 2007: So what happened to the two who dated and couldn't be torn apart? It's almost like as the stress raised, so did the new and crappy marriage. Now, I really hope you have an attorney present when signing the papers. If not, I'm afraid you may get ... (read in full...)
He won't help himself!
Q. my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. we have not had sex for almost 6 mos. I do not know if I should leave him or what. I have tried to talk to him about it but he won't talk. he has gained some weight since we started dating but he ...
A. 4 November 2007: If you both have issues, then you both need counseling. Maybe they can help you develop a plan to take this relationship in a positive direction. The problem with issues, if you left the issues you have, you'd take those with you to the next ... (read in full...)
If I find out he's doing this again, I'll leave.
Q. I found out my husband viewed quite alot of porn on the internet, pretty much straight porn. I knew he was up to something because we hardly ever had sex. I did a little spying and found out he was also viewing alot of personal ads but these were ...
A. 4 November 2007: I would ask him if he's up to anything. ... (read in full...)
I don't know what she feels for me.
Q. Hi to all that reads this I have been with my partner for 23 years now and have three grown up children all still at home. Its very rare my partner and I sleep together I sleep downstairs on the setee we do not do anything together on our own our ...
A. 4 November 2007: I don't know, first talk to your wife. Ask her how she feels about your relationship. If she's willing to work on it or not.
That is strange a customer kissing someone who's working. At first you didn't know what to think, then the kiss on the lips... (read in full...)
What to do to salvage my relationship.
Q. Hi readers have had a few problems with my schedule and that explains my absence for the last 3 wks. I recently had a burst up with my girlfriend and i erroneously told her WE WERE DONE! the problem is she seems to have made up her mind 4 good yet ...
A. 4 November 2007: You'll have to talk to her. You also need to remember that when she decides for good, the conversation can't be about you and what you want. It has to be about her and WHY she should be with you.
Also remember this, repeat it to yourself often, a... (read in full...)
I'm kind of old fashion and want to cerated a life with someone.
Q. i have dated this man for over 10 years. there have been many hard times as it relates to communication etc. to make a long story short, i love him very much and i know he loves me, however, im ready to get married. i do not want to be his 60 year ...
A. 4 November 2007: The best way to do this is don't tell him what you want, why don't you ask him to tell you what he wants. Where does he see this relationship going. If marriage is in the picture, how long before it takes that direction.
I will say now that the... (read in full...)
Wife had an afair with someone large, now I am intimidated.
Q. My wife had an affair with a man with huge penis. She went on and on about how she never knew sex could be that good and how she was driven wild by his size. Now, I am intimidated to have sex with her because I am afraid I won't be able to please ...
A. 4 November 2007: Size really does not matter. I've been acquainted with females that when asked, they say it's not how big, it's how it's used.
Don't be intimidated by this other person. It's bad she had the affair, why she goes on about someones size during a... (read in full...)
I can't send him home, and he'll never have the money to move.
Q. Hi, i am 27 yrs old and recently moved from Poland to the UK with my boyfriend. We know each other since children but become boyfriend and girlfriend two half years ago. When we arrive we get job together at same place. We live with man in shared ...
A. 4 November 2007: What have you done to talk to your boyfriend. I can really understand your situation. I haven't played games for a long time, but when Super Mario 3 came out. A friend of mine and I spent 14 hours learning each level in how to clear it. This was ... (read in full...)
I really like him and he says he doesnt. Should I kiss him anyways?
Q. I like this guy and I sent him a note asking if he liked me....but he cheked no.....and i still really like him and so does my friend but he said he doesnt like her either......and I still realllly reaaaaaly like him....should i just go up to him ...
A. 25 October 2007: bad idea.... (read in full...)
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